Men kissing each other on the cheeks: why taboo in some countries, and how did this come about? (nightclub, friendly)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I must say that cheek kissing other women is still strange to me. I grew up with handshaking only, and I believe that even hugging close relatives or friends was not standard in Germany 40 years ago. Or maybe I am just emotionally handicapped.
I have some good male friends, some have been really good to me when things have gone 'pear shaped' in my life, I would do almost anything to help them out if ever they needed me to - but for the life of me I couldn imagine any time when I would feel compelled to plant a smacker on them!! I dont think they would appreciate it much either! lol
Location: Near Tours, France about 47°10'N 0°25'E
2,825 posts, read 5,264,432 times
Reputation: 1957
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trimac20
The French seem to have a more egalitarian attitude. I remember travelling with a group of backpackers, mostly English but with one French guy in the mix. We were playing a silly game of truth or dare and someone asked if anyone had kissed someone of the same sex on the lips. There were about 4 guys and 2 girls. One of the English girls put up her hand, as did the French lad, and the English lads looked really shocked. He wasn't gay, or really bi, and he said he'd apparently been with 50 women (at age 24), but it just wasn't the done thing for straight guys in the UK to do that sort of thing. He said it was just a drunken kiss between a friend that didn't mean anything. Now i don't know if that's the norm, or if that even has anything to do with cheek-kissing, but I just thought it interested.
No, it has nothing to do with cheek kissing, in our culture lip kissing is seen as a sexual thing, but not at all for cheek kissing. I understand that from your culture it seems difficult to put appart, as both "kisses" seems to be sexually connoted. I am under the impression that what the french guy was saying is more like a drunk game that teens or young adutls might do, it is not the norm at all. In France, if youre a male and lip kiss another guy, it obviously has gay conotations (or if you do it as a strait person it is generally being under alcolic drink). In french we don't even use the same word for kiss: bise or bisou (diminitive form) mean cheek kiss only.
It has nothing to see either with a "egalitarian attitude" as in france the differences in sexes are usually quite sharp, and the macho attitude is still quite strong.
No, it has nothing to do with cheek kissing, in our culture lip kissing is seen as a sexual thing, but not at all for cheek kissing. I understand that from your culture it seems difficult to put appart, as both "kisses" seems to be sexually connoted. I am under the impression that what the french guy was saying is more like a drunk game that teens or young adutls might do, it is not the norm at all. In France, if youre a male and lip kiss another guy, it obviously has gay conotations (or if you do it as a strait person it is generally being under alcolic drink). In french we don't even use the same word for kiss: bise or bisou (diminitive form) mean cheek kiss only.
It has nothing to see either with a "egalitarian attitude" as in france the differences in sexes are usually quite sharp, and the macho attitude is still quite strong.
For the record, very frequently in places where people do "la bise" on the cheeks, there is actually no lip-to-cheek contact, and often you end up rubbing or lightly tapping cheeks with people as opposed to actually kissing or being kissed.
Men kissing men as a greeting is common in South and Eastern Europe, the Middle East and Latin America, but is practically taboo not socially acceptable in North America, northern Europe and Australia. The thing is, women in these societies do it, so there is obviously SOMETHING going on. The fact that gay men in these societies also seem to kiss each other on the cheek makes me wonder if there's some innate homophobia in these Anglo-German countries for the double standard.
I don't buy the fact that they're just more reserved, because again women in these countries do it. If neither men OR women did it then I would chalk it up to a social custom but that's not the case. HAVING SAID that, it seems I think in countries like Sweden, Germany it's kinda less common for even women to do this, am I right?
Has this always been the case? Was there every a time when men in England, for instance, would kiss each other as a form of greeting?
What about the opposite sex. Has there ever been a time when kissing a member of the opposite sex on the cheek was actually UNacceptable?
I'm also curious as to whether this custom is continuing strong among the younger generation, or if they're more influenced by American, possibly homophobic attitudes?
This doesn't seem a custom in India, where men are touchy-feely (straight men) with each other, but I may be wrong. Anyone know about this?
Also it seems this custom is gaining popularity in Asia due to western influence.
Thats disgusting. If they ever come here and do that, they'd get beat up and I will personally vomit. Woman don't really kiss each-other here either, don't know where your getting that one out of.
Kissing the opposite sex has always been unacceptable. Always.
Men kissing Men has a greeting does sound weird but thats because I'm not exposed to it. There is nothing 'gay' about it at all and in most western cultures thats the reason why men don't do it because its somehow 'gay'.
Here it is nothing weird, specially into families, also men who are friends, or even on TV programs men kiss each others many times.
Women always always do.
Last edited by Catbelle; 02-15-2013 at 02:32 PM..
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
