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What a weird interpretation of politeness. I`m all for manners but if u don`t wish for me to make a scene then don`t spill soup on my lap or act stroppy·
Yeah, when I hold a door open for a total stranger its because I want to woo her into bed. I'm especially into old dears.
Holding doors open for people because they are old and frail is different from holding a door open for a young, fit young woman just because she's got a vagina.
We can be excessively polite, but rudeness is actually tolerated to a certain extent. I know a lot of people who would say nothing if someone pushed in front of them in a queue in order to avoid conflict or creating a scene. Ditto with customer service - a waitress pours hot soup on your lap? Ignore it and continue with your night. If you make a scene, people will look at you with contempt.
I see that happen here. I think that sort of thing is less tolerated in say the US, I think people there in general are actually more outspoken.
Well if it was accidentally then it wasn't rudeness, you could berate her for her clumsiness but I think the embarrassment of it and the dressing down she may get from her boss is punishment enough.
I've heard "vaer sa god" and "unnskyld" in the North, but maybe those are old-fashioned, at this point. "Vaer sa god" was typically pronounced very fast, almost as two syllables, so it's not "too long" for practical use. (Sorry, no Norsk alphabet installed on my computer. Not yet, anyway. )
"Vær så god" means "You are welcome" in English and is commonly used.
Holding doors open for people because they are old and frail is different from holding a door open for a young, fit young woman just because she's got a vagina.
"Don't oppress me by opening this door for me you sexist pig!"
Something like this can only be made sense of if you're brought up in a culture that programs its young from an early age to believe gender differences are all down to social conditioning.
"Don't oppress me by opening this door for me you sexist pig!"
Something like this can only be made sense of if you're brought up in a culture that programs its young from an early age to believe gender differences are all down to social conditioning.
And tell me please, what biological basis is there for opening doors for women? Do they lack hands that they cant open them for themselves?
And tell me please, what biological basis is there for opening doors for women? Do they lack hands that they cant open them for themselves?
Gender psychology. The same reason why we have an innate urge to bring young men up differently from young women, why we feel more morally disgusted when a man uses a crowbar to beat the living pulp out of a woman as opposed to another man, why certain behavior in women we would consider inappropriate in men and vice versa, why (despite decades of social conditioning) we still feel an urge to assess men and women according to different standards of traits and vices, why women are more likely to resort to self-harming behavior when they're deeply upset as opposed to men who channel it outwards, why little girls want to be pretty princesses and boys want to play soldiers, why gender identity disorders are incorrigible. And so on.
Gender psychology. The same reason why we have an innate urge to bring young men up differently from young women, why we feel more morally disgusted when a man uses a crowbar to beat the living pulp out of a woman as opposed to another man, why certain behavior in women we would consider inappropriate in men and vice versa, why (despite decades of social conditioning) we still feel an urge to assess men and women according to different standards of traits and vices, why women are more likely to resort to self-harming behavior when they're deeply upset as opposed to men who channel it outwards, why little girls want to be pretty princesses and boys want to play soldiers, why gender identity disorders are incorrigible. And so on.
That's partly what's wrong with society. We should feel equally disgusted no matter who the victim is.
I would think the same of Scandinavia and maybe the Netherlands.
Sorry for the long post upfrond, but i don't know how to explain this in a few words.
Actually, from what i've read, the Dutch are considdered extremely rude by a lot of Americans and English. First time i read it on the internet i was shocked. If you google "Dutch rude" you'll find a whole lot of topics of people bashing the Dutch. Some people even have build complete sites about the rude dutch.
Like someone mentioned before, my opinion is too that politeness differs from country to country. Some things that Americans or Englisch considder polite, can be rude in another country and vice versa. A lot of the American politeness is considdered fake in our county and there for unpolite or even rude and offensive.
Here's some examples from what i found on the internet:
We don't say sorry and excuse me all the time: we do, but only if we mean it. If you are in a crowded place like the Metro trying to find your way out, like the metro, you don't go say sorry to a thousand men and woman cos you just want to get out of there, everybody bumps into you and you into everybody, so why say sorry? 'Cause you aren't. But if i bump into you on my way out in a restaurant ofcourse i say sorry. it would be rude not to.
An American lady goes shopping with her Dutch friend. She tries a short tight litte dress wich is a bit too tight and the Dutch friend says "don't buy it, you look fat in that dress". The American lady is furious but all she ment was to warn her, cos since they're friends, she doesn't want her friend to embarres herself in puplic. Actually she was being polite
Also the word "friends" causes a lot of misunderstandings. I don't call someone a friend untill i know him or her for a few years. Untill that time he's an acquaintance but Americans can call you a friend the very first day you met them. I experianced that myself on a jungle trip on a holliday, and my girlfriend at the time got in a fight with an american girl cos she kept calling her "such a good friend, and so amazing, and so wonderfull". In the Netherlands that's considdered extremely fake, and therefor also kind of rude or offensive. Most people here would be offended if someone calls them a friend the first day they met.
I also think that language causes a lot of troubles. Our language is compared to other languages pretty straightforward and blund. We say it like it is, and don't beat around the bush. A lot of English and Americans are offended by it. And those comments i've read are mostly from expats that live here. I personally think it's a shame they don't take the efford to really get to know us and ty to understand what causes these misunderstandings.
Last edited by cattledog69; 03-08-2014 at 03:50 AM..
I think politeness has different ways everywhere you go, I have been in some countries that you say good morning in a lift (for example) and nobody responds, people who don't look at you to talk, or places where people don't wait until everyone has left the train/bus to get into it, etc.
In Spain politeness is very important but it is used in other way as other places, for example, we don't say please all the time, once is enough, asking things saying blabla please blabla plaese can sound ironic, the same as if you ask for something and before it is done you say thank you in advance, it is a bit rude because it sounds like an order or a must (we say thanks at the end)
The word sorry is used a lot, and excuse me as well.
A sincere smile and friendliness sometimes are enough.
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In the Netherlands that's considdered extremely fake, and therefor also kind of rude or offensive. Most people here would be offended if someone calls them a friend the first day they met.
