I moved out.....Now what?
Posted 05-29-2012 at 05:00 PM by txtqueen
So I moved out of my mom's house about 6 months ago.
Granted I only had a drawer and some space in the bathroom at TG's apartment, I was STILL not LIVING at home.
Now I have pretty much gotten everything out, left stuff for a "spare bedroom" for them to do with as they please. Have family visiting or whatever.
Everyone told me to do this. Move out of your mom's house if you don't like it, get your own place and make your own rules, become independent and show your mom you're growing up, your mom really loves you blah blah ****ing blah.
I think I mentioned my laptop having some issues, well my mom burned a stolen copy of Windows 7 and told me it was going to fix ALL my problem, but now my laptop is screwed up even more and I can't do anything to fix it. When I installed it, it worked fine, I installed some anti-virus stuff on it and never used it very much. Maybe twice since putting the new OS on. I bring it over to our new place and the other night log in just fine, use it for a little bit, go for a walk and then I come home and try to log in and it doesn't work. Keeps telling me my password is wrong, even though I am POSITIVE I am typing it in right.
I tell my mom and she is of no help, telling me I must have done something wrong, that the virus must have embedded itself deeper than she thought.
I told her I need a LEGIT version of windows, not something stolen. I know, I am positive that it will fix it but she's telling me I don't need it, that *I* did something wrong.
I talked to my grandmother, asked if I could use some of my college fund to fix my laptop up so I can start slowly taking some classes again. My grandmother is 72 years old, she knows HOW to use a computer but knows nothing about computers. She told me to find out some prices and send her the links and she'd take care of it. I went to get a check to the college fund account from my mom (they are my grandmothers checks but my mom holds on to them), my mom lies and says she has none then calls my grandmother, tells my grandmother I don't know what I am talking about and that *I* broke my laptop and that it doesn't need a new OS.
I get a call from my grandmother who tells me, "Well I guess you're just going to send me your laptop info and I'll buy you the parts and your mom is going to fix the OS." My mom never is getting near my laptop again, ALL the computers in her house are having major issues, she doesn't know what she is doing.
But I am 22, she needs to stop stepping in and controlling my life and controlling how I handle things with other people.
When I was 19 and I visited my grandmother, she called my grandmother and told her I wasn't "allowed" to drive my grandmothers car. LMFAO @ allow, I was an adult in another state, allow my ass and it was my grandmothers car.
When I was 21 she didn't want me driving cross country to visit my grandmother, she called up my grandmother and told her that I wasn't an experienced enough driver, that I couldn't handle driving alone for that long, told her I was emotionally ready or mature enough, told her I wasn't allowed to drive there, that she didn't want me doing it.
And now this.
I am 22 years old, turning 23 in just a few months, I make more money than my mom does, because I actually have a job, I am supporting me, TG and feeding the dog until he gets his first check. I live in a nice place, everything is kept very clean and we're so much better off than my mom, my mom sits in her room, does nothing, lets her son run wild, stays up till all hours of the night and does nothing productive.
TG and I spent all day yesterday with his sister and niece. Planting flowers, doing yard work, cleaning up, BBQing out, while my mom was out buying ammo for my brother and his friend D to go shooting, when D is on medications for anger issues and has frequently talked about shooting and killing his parents.
Either way, I am an adult, a real adult now, so why does she think it is ok to step in, lie to grandmother so she can STILL try to control me? I've done all I am supposed to do and yet she still feels like she has any right at all to try and control me still. She seriously isn't a happy person unless she is making someone else miserable.
I am at a loss of what to do except cut off all contact for awhile and not speak to her whatsoever and tell my grandmother to not speak to my mom about me anymore and if my mom calls with her little game playing to hang up and not listen to it.
My mom is a liar, a mooch, a manipulator and she isn't happy unless she is dragging someone else down.
TG pretty much refuses to go over to my mom's house because he hates seeing what she does and how miserable it makes me, he told me he can't stand to see me upset over what she does to me.
I don't know how to handle this at all.
Granted I only had a drawer and some space in the bathroom at TG's apartment, I was STILL not LIVING at home.
Now I have pretty much gotten everything out, left stuff for a "spare bedroom" for them to do with as they please. Have family visiting or whatever.
Everyone told me to do this. Move out of your mom's house if you don't like it, get your own place and make your own rules, become independent and show your mom you're growing up, your mom really loves you blah blah ****ing blah.
I think I mentioned my laptop having some issues, well my mom burned a stolen copy of Windows 7 and told me it was going to fix ALL my problem, but now my laptop is screwed up even more and I can't do anything to fix it. When I installed it, it worked fine, I installed some anti-virus stuff on it and never used it very much. Maybe twice since putting the new OS on. I bring it over to our new place and the other night log in just fine, use it for a little bit, go for a walk and then I come home and try to log in and it doesn't work. Keeps telling me my password is wrong, even though I am POSITIVE I am typing it in right.
I tell my mom and she is of no help, telling me I must have done something wrong, that the virus must have embedded itself deeper than she thought.
I told her I need a LEGIT version of windows, not something stolen. I know, I am positive that it will fix it but she's telling me I don't need it, that *I* did something wrong.
I talked to my grandmother, asked if I could use some of my college fund to fix my laptop up so I can start slowly taking some classes again. My grandmother is 72 years old, she knows HOW to use a computer but knows nothing about computers. She told me to find out some prices and send her the links and she'd take care of it. I went to get a check to the college fund account from my mom (they are my grandmothers checks but my mom holds on to them), my mom lies and says she has none then calls my grandmother, tells my grandmother I don't know what I am talking about and that *I* broke my laptop and that it doesn't need a new OS.
I get a call from my grandmother who tells me, "Well I guess you're just going to send me your laptop info and I'll buy you the parts and your mom is going to fix the OS." My mom never is getting near my laptop again, ALL the computers in her house are having major issues, she doesn't know what she is doing.
But I am 22, she needs to stop stepping in and controlling my life and controlling how I handle things with other people.
When I was 19 and I visited my grandmother, she called my grandmother and told her I wasn't "allowed" to drive my grandmothers car. LMFAO @ allow, I was an adult in another state, allow my ass and it was my grandmothers car.
When I was 21 she didn't want me driving cross country to visit my grandmother, she called up my grandmother and told her that I wasn't an experienced enough driver, that I couldn't handle driving alone for that long, told her I was emotionally ready or mature enough, told her I wasn't allowed to drive there, that she didn't want me doing it.
And now this.
I am 22 years old, turning 23 in just a few months, I make more money than my mom does, because I actually have a job, I am supporting me, TG and feeding the dog until he gets his first check. I live in a nice place, everything is kept very clean and we're so much better off than my mom, my mom sits in her room, does nothing, lets her son run wild, stays up till all hours of the night and does nothing productive.
TG and I spent all day yesterday with his sister and niece. Planting flowers, doing yard work, cleaning up, BBQing out, while my mom was out buying ammo for my brother and his friend D to go shooting, when D is on medications for anger issues and has frequently talked about shooting and killing his parents.
Either way, I am an adult, a real adult now, so why does she think it is ok to step in, lie to grandmother so she can STILL try to control me? I've done all I am supposed to do and yet she still feels like she has any right at all to try and control me still. She seriously isn't a happy person unless she is making someone else miserable.
I am at a loss of what to do except cut off all contact for awhile and not speak to her whatsoever and tell my grandmother to not speak to my mom about me anymore and if my mom calls with her little game playing to hang up and not listen to it.
My mom is a liar, a mooch, a manipulator and she isn't happy unless she is dragging someone else down.
TG pretty much refuses to go over to my mom's house because he hates seeing what she does and how miserable it makes me, he told me he can't stand to see me upset over what she does to me.
I don't know how to handle this at all.
Total Comments 64
Comments
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You handle it by either taking your laptop to be repaired legitimately or buying new one if you "need" it once you have the money to do so. Your mother or grandmother need not be involved at all. I'm not sure why you even brought them up. In the meantime, use the computer at the library. It's free.
And let it be a lesson to you regarding illegal downloads. Pay for what you use.
ETA: You realize you just posted a huge longwinded story when basically the only thing you needed to say was "My laptop isn't working. What do I do?" You'll find your problems will be much more easily solved if you quit bogging them down with stories that have nothing to do with the problem. You tend to get lost focusing on the story instead of the solution.Posted 05-29-2012 at 05:30 PM by maciesmom
Updated 05-29-2012 at 05:49 PM by maciesmom -
I got it for graduation, it's a $2000 laptop, no need to get a new one just repair what's wrong with it now.Quote:Originally Posted by maciesmom
You handle it by either taking your laptop to be repaired legitimately or buying new one if you "need" it once you have the money to do so. Your mother or grandmother need not be involved at all. I'm not sure why you even brought them up. In the meantime, use the computer at the library. It's free.
And let it be a lesson to you regarding illegal downloads. Pay for what you use.
And I can use my college money for school stuff, including getting my laptop fixed. I am going to be taking online classes because I can't take them on campus, not until TG and I have the same schedule or another vehicle. I can't be driving all the way down to Littleton to take classes and out to where TG works and then home, we'd go through gas so quickly. If I can take online classes and drive him to work and come home and not go anywhere else and work on classes at home and then once we have the same schedule still just do online classes after we get off work while making dinner or on the weekends or something.
But its my college fund that I am using to fix it.
My grandmother said yes, the only reason I had to go to my mom is because she has the checks.
But I need a new battery, a keyboard replacement (laptop keyboard) and a new charger cord. It's $17 for the battery, $10 for the keyboard and $7 for the charger cord, so its cheap stuff.
And it was my mom who illegally downloaded it, not me. I needed to get the virus off.Posted 05-29-2012 at 06:01 PM by txtqueen
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Blahblahblahblahblah...my laptop is broken, what do I do?.Blahblahblahblahblah
Remember all the "extra" money you'll have to save for camping equipment? Use that. Don't involve your mother or your grandmother. That's what "real" adults, who are independent do. End of story.Posted 05-29-2012 at 06:05 PM by maciesmom
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The issue isn't with my laptop.
The issue is with my mom.
I know how to fix the laptop.
I buy parts to replace the keyboard, the battery and the power cord.
I remove the ghetto version of windows 7 she gave me and put on a legitimate copy.
The issue is with my mom, going behind my back calling my grandmother, telling her what I am and am not "allowed" or do and her lying to my grandmother telling her I broke my laptop and that this stolen bootleg copy she downloaded off the internet and put on my computer is JUUUUUST fine and that I don't know what I am talking about.
She's still trying to manipulate and control me and I no longer live in her house, she doesn't give me any money and any money I get from my grandmother for the laptop is my college money and my laptop to do online classes at night and during the weekends is an education expense to my grandmother, she is FINE with doing this. My mom needs to sit the **** down and stop trying to step in and control what I do.
That's what I am having trouble with, my mom interfering with my life when I fully don't live at home and I am supporting my way. I pay my rent, I haven't been using the gas card. My laptop is an education expense so I can stay home and do online classes at night and on the weekends and not drive out gas driving to a campus or the library. Plus library computers have 30 minute time limits, at home I can spend however long I want doing my classes.Posted 05-29-2012 at 06:12 PM by txtqueen
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I have a college fund, the laptop is an education expense so I can do online classes at home.Quote:Originally Posted by maciesmom
Blahblahblahblahblah...my laptop is broken, what do I do?.Blahblahblahblahblah
Remember all the "extra" money you'll have to save for camping equipment? Use that. Don't involve your mother or your grandmother. That's what "real" adults, who are independent do. End of story.Posted 05-29-2012 at 06:14 PM by txtqueen
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Stop it with your mother. You just like the drama I think. Nothing you've posted matters except getting your ridiculously expensive for what you need laptop working. If you are an adult, making enough money to have ANY "extra" then you use it to keep your things in good repair. That's all.Posted 05-29-2012 at 06:14 PM by maciesmom
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It's only an education expense if you actually use it for that. If I were your grandmother, I MIGHT be willing to reimburse you AFTER you show that you've actually taken and passed classes. And show me a plan with milestones toward graduations. And, I'd reimburse you incrementally not fully.Quote:Originally Posted by txtqueen
I have a college fund, the laptop is an education expense so I can do online classes at home.Posted 05-29-2012 at 06:28 PM by maciesmom
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Yes, the laptop was super expensive when it was first bought.Quote:Originally Posted by maciesmom
Stop it with your mother. You just like the drama I think. Nothing you've posted matters except getting your ridiculously expensive for what you need laptop working. If you are an adult, making enough money to have ANY "extra" then you use it to keep your things in good repair. That's all.
I never ever said spend that much on it, it was a graduation gift.
The laptop is 4 years old and still in pretty good condition. I don't know why I wouldn't make some cheap repairs.
It's $43 after tax for the keyboard, the battery and the charger cord on Amazon. That's super cheap, considering how expensive that **** is other places.Posted 05-29-2012 at 06:29 PM by txtqueen
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Well I want to start the summer classes in a few weeks.Quote:Originally Posted by maciesmom
It's only an education expense if you actually use it for that. If I were your grandmother, I MIGHT be willing to reimburse you AFTER you show that you've actually taken and passed classes. And show me a plan with milestones toward graduations. And, I'd reimburse you incrementally not fully.
I won't have the extra by then. I can't do ONLINE classes without a computer and spending 30 minutes a day is not enough and I can't afford driving out my gas to go to the library which is not close anymore.
But that doesn't matter, everything is being ordered today.
The ISSUE is my mom.
Someone needs to put her in her place. She can't keep trying to control and manipulate me. I'm 22, a legal adult, out on my own, she no longer can control me.Posted 05-29-2012 at 06:32 PM by txtqueen
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***sigh*** your put on your big girl panties and get it fixed yourself, that's what you do. Your mom and grandma are only involved because you chose to get them involved. If you were really living on your own like an adult, you wouldn't go running to them to fix things, you'd do it yourself.Posted 05-29-2012 at 06:37 PM by Kibbiekat
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Quit giving her ways to control youDeal with your own issues, and she'll have no way to get to you.Posted 05-29-2012 at 06:38 PM by Kibbiekat
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Or I would use the college money for an education expense like it is intended to be used.Quote:Originally Posted by Kibbiekat
***sigh*** your put on your big girl panties and get it fixed yourself, that's what you do. Your mom and grandma are only involved because you chose to get them involved. If you were really living on your own like an adult, you wouldn't go running to them to fix things, you'd do it yourself.
Anyways its not the laptop.
Its my mom lets focus on my mom thinking she can still manipulate me and control me.
Let's on her CLEARLY overstepping her bounds.Posted 05-29-2012 at 06:39 PM by txtqueen
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This laptop issue is between me and my grandmother, not my mom.Quote:Originally Posted by Kibbiekat
Quit giving her ways to control youDeal with your own issues, and she'll have no way to get to you.
My college money is something me and my grandmother handle, it's something WE discuss like adults and come to agreements on, this college money was saved up for me by my great grandmother so I could use it on college expenses, books, classes, and laptop repairs, it's even there for pens, paper, pencils, binders etc.Posted 05-29-2012 at 06:42 PM by txtqueen
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You know how your mom is. You've been complaining about her literally for years on here. You won't change her. The only way to deal with her is to limit your interaction. That means not running to her or your grandma for money. Before you asked for money from grandma, you allowed your mom to try to fix the problem with an illegal download. I'm not saying your mom is right, but you are allowing it.Posted 05-29-2012 at 06:48 PM by Kibbiekat
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Quote:Originally Posted by Kibbiekat
You know how your mom is. You've been complaining about her literally for years on here. You won't change her. The only way to deal with her is to limit your interaction. That means not running to her or your grandma for money. Before you asked for money from grandma, you allowed your mom to try to fix the problem with an illegal download. I'm not saying your mom is right, but you are allowing it.
I should be able to go to my grandmother for anything I want to, advice, help with expenses and school and my mom keep her mouth shut and learn her place in this new dynamic, which is not in control of me anymore.Posted 05-29-2012 at 06:54 PM by txtqueen
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I call BS on the "I'm planning on taking online classes that start in a few weeks" BTW.
It was only a couple weeks ago you were claiming that once you and TG settled down and have some money saved etc, then you might start thinking about college again. Now, all of a sudden, your laptop is not working correctly, and you "need" it to take these classes. How conventient. You'd find a way to justify anything you could to soak someone for money to pay for something that wasn't a "fun" thing. I think your mom sees through that and is trying to protect your college fund so that it's there for actual college should you ever grow up.Posted 05-29-2012 at 07:07 PM by maciesmom
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I'm also realizing that I CAN start classes a little sooner than expected.Quote:Originally Posted by maciesmom
I call BS on the "I'm planning on taking online classes that start in a few weeks" BTW.
It was only a couple weeks ago you were claiming that once you and TG settled down and have some money saved etc, then you might start thinking about college again. Now, all of a sudden, your laptop is not working correctly, and you "need" it to take these classes. How conventient. You'd find a way to justify anything you could to soak someone for money to pay for something that wasn't a "fun" thing. I think your mom sees through that and is trying to protect your college fund so that it's there for actual college should you ever grow up.
A couple weeks ago he didn't have this nice new job, making the money he is making.
NOW, by the beginning of July we'll be bringing in $3000 a month.
Now it is more feasible to take one or two classes over the summer and then just put like $30 every month back into the account to bring it back up.Posted 05-29-2012 at 07:31 PM by txtqueen
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You knew your mom had the checks. You knew your mom would pretty much have to approve the request. If you had 2 nickles to rub together you could just get it fixed yourself. That is what being on your own is about. Unexpected expenses come up all the time.
last week our garage door opener quit working. That was $500. Just like that. Do you think we went running to our parents for help?Posted 05-29-2012 at 07:48 PM by Kibbiekat
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Not buying it. You haven't been in any hurry to take classes for 4 years. So wait until fall when you can afford it. Not that difficult.Quote:Originally Posted by txtqueen
I'm also realizing that I CAN start classes a little sooner than expected.
A couple weeks ago he didn't have this nice new job, making the money he is making.
NOW, by the beginning of July we'll be bringing in $3000 a month.
Now it is more feasible to take one or two classes over the summer and then just put like $30 every month back into the account to bring it back up.
Not to mention, how would you know what classes you need if as you've stated, you have no idea how manycredits you have and you haven't been in touch with an advisor to make a plan?
Your grandmother may be gullible. I'm not.
Posted 05-29-2012 at 07:58 PM by maciesmom
Updated 05-29-2012 at 08:06 PM by maciesmom -
I can just use the college money now. I have some left.Quote:Originally Posted by maciesmom
Not buying it. You haven't been in any hurry to take classes for 4 years. So wait until fall when you can afford it. Not that difficult.Posted 05-29-2012 at 08:07 PM by txtqueen
