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So no engagement right eh ?
Not to be materialistic ... but that pretty much sours the deal for a North American Woman lol because once you tell someone you are engaged here first thing they say is 1. Congratulations 2. Let me see the ring. Engagement rings are a pretty big deal here ( you should know that Mr. NYC ). It is not a must ... but it is tradition.
I got engaged to someone that was not Canadian so the traditions were a bit different ( still got a ring though which I have upgraded twice). Where my husband is from the groom needs to agree to give the bride a certain amount of money or something worth that in value and it is part of the legal process and the father of groom buys the bridge gold jewerly. So this makes it a lot harder for people without money to get married. Then again there it is also done to remind men that if you want a wife and kids you need to be able to provide for them. There diamond engagement rings are not the norm.... so it was a pain trying to find one especially in a certain colour or type of gold.
I am not 100% sure of your interpretation of how religiouns Latin Americans are. I must be a huge range as there is in Canada in the USA.
Ex Utah vs the New York like likely has verry different levels of strickly religious people. Then agian in parts of NYC there are very orthodox religious communities.
I new and know a good chunk of people from Latin American families that reminder me of the family in Jane the Virgin. I also know ones that are secular. I think it must be of a varried levels of religious observance as it is not possible all the fanatics immigrated to Canada :P! Or it could just be me ... I have no idea why but religious men tend to gravitate towards me. So it could also be the type of people that I tend to know or ... it could be a change in habbits after immigration. I find a lot of the chruches or religious organizations that tend to aggressively recruit people in Toronto tend to speak Spanish. Ex the recuriters are not hispanic ... but speak Spanish. Then lonely new immigrants tend to get suckered in to these religious groups. I have known at least 4 Latin American families that this happend to ( 1 Mexican, 2 El Salvador and 1 Nicaragua). Again... not statistically significant.
I don't know that many Colombian people in Toronto in general and dont know any that are married to other Colombian people in Toronto. Most have been in Toronto longer then in Colombia so they are as useless as I would be regarding answering this type of stuff regarding Trinidad. Oh well at least I sort of got my engagement ring question answered. In short my husband is not buying me an emerald ring ( which was confirmed by the "Dream on comment" at the Emerald Market) and even if I did get married to someone from Colombia in my next life ... the chances are still super slim. So I guess I will buying myself the ring ! Wow 99% of what I just said is the bi-product of just how bored I am at what I should be doing right now .
Back to Bogota ... when visiting I would suggest checking out the Emerald Market. It is an interesting experience even if you don't end up buying anything. If you are going with your girl freind/ wife ... probably not such a good idea unless you plan of buying something. I already bought something in Cartagena so I was able to walk out without buying anything and not be too crushed. My husband had to drag me out of there though. It is certainly something worth seeing and just beside the gold museum.
One finds religious Latin Americans who have had multiple children by multiple partnersm or as who I just said, they may go to church on Sunday but they will think nothing of going to a santero or palero. Latin Americans are not Catholic in the European sense.
Of course things vary from country to country and from region to region, but considering conditions on the ground in Latin America in the 20th century, it's pretty much impossible to really look at things in the sense that a North American Catholic would.
The statistics speak for themselves, high rates of cohabitation and large numbers of people who simply never married despite having children in Latin America.
the main reason to live in cohabitation in Colombia is that you have pretty much the same legal rights as if you were married.
.... BUTTTTT you don't to have a wedding in other works ... no party, no cake, no rings, no pretty dress and no gifts.
There are only a few days in a woman's life she ( oh yeah and the groom too ) gets to be treated exceptionally special and that would be the on the top of the list.
Also marriage is a sacrament ... learn that in Catholic School ( I did not get married in the Catholic Church).
Regardless big or small .... weddings are about acknowleding an offical choice to be with someone else. Rather then ....I needed someone to split the bills, plus I got her pregnant so we live together .
To be choosen vs just the next best thing.
When some actually asked you to marry then for the rest of their life when they complain about something you do you can straight out saw ... "Hey .. you were the one who asked ME to marry you" !
.... BUTTTTT you don't to have a wedding in other works ... no party, no cake, no rings, no pretty dress and no gifts.
There are only a few days in a woman's life she ( oh yeah and the groom too ) gets to be treated exceptionally special and that would be the on the top of the list.
Also marriage is a sacrament ... learn that in Catholic School ( I did not get married in the Catholic Church).
Regardless big or small .... weddings are about acknowleding an offical choice to be with someone else. Rather then ....I needed someone to split the bills, plus I got her pregnant so we live together .
To be choosen vs just the next best thing.
When some actually asked you to marry then for the rest of their life when they complain about something you do you can straight out saw ... "Hey .. you were the one who asked ME to marry you" !
Colombia was a war torn country until recently, and considering all they want through (people being killed, high rates of crime), the last thing I'm sure women were worried about is a fancy wedding! Particularly in the 90s, a woman might worry about her love or herself being shot. Even when you go to Bogota today, the legacy of this is all the bars over windows, and other signs of the not too distant past. Things varied across the region, but until not too long ago many countries had military governments, which tended to be unstable, and there were certainly issues of poverty. Considering the political environment, who the hell has time for the stereotypical middle class white woman idea of a wedding?
Can you be less self absorbed and realize you're dealing with different cultures and countries?
Colombia was a war torn country until recently, and considering all they want through (people being killed, high rates of crime), the last thing I'm sure women were worried about is a fancy wedding! Particularly in the 90s, a woman might worry about her love or herself being shot. Even when you go to Bogota today, the legacy of this is all the bars over windows, and other signs of the not too distant past. Things varied across the region, but until not too long ago many countries had military governments, which tended to be unstable, and there were certainly issues of poverty. Considering the political environment, who the hell has time for the stereotypical middle class white woman idea of a wedding?
Can you be less self absorbed and realize you're dealing with different cultures and countries?
Not everyone in Colombia was and is destitutely poor. Also really dumb white woman comment. You sound pretty clueless in the woman department in this regard. Marriage is pretty common all over the world. Pretty crazy to assume all people anywhere are too poor to get married.
Not everyone in Colombia was and is destitutely poor. Also really dumb white woman comment. You sound pretty clueless in the woman department in this regard. Marriage is pretty common all over the world. Pretty crazy to assume all people anywhere are too poor to get married.
Not in Colombia and not so common in other Latin American countries, and there are high rates of non marriage about US Latinos, at least is certain cities and among certain demographics.
In recent decades a big part of life in Colombia was survival, survival from war, poverty, oppressive government, among other things. So a stupid marriage ceremony is the last thing on people's minds. I could say the same for much of Latin America. It doesn't mean NOBODY gets married, it means that socioeconomic conditions are such that they don't favor marriage for a lot of people. Also people are at the level of trying to survive, no one has the time for white woman morality.
I actually wouldn't have made those comments, klmrocks, but you are ridiculously judgmental of people in other societies who have had to deal with conditions you don't have to deal with all their lives, and you mouth off nonsense beyond your keyboard. Why didn't you lecture people in Bogota about marriage when you were there (it probably would have gotten you punched)? So would your condescending attitude. People in Colombia or elsewhere in Latin America don't need your approval for how they live their lives, and if you can't deal don't go!
Colombia was a war torn country until recently, and considering all they want through (people being killed, high rates of crime), the last thing I'm sure women were worried about is a fancy wedding! Particularly in the 90s, a woman might worry about her love or herself being shot. Even when you go to Bogota today, the legacy of this is all the bars over windows, and other signs of the not too distant past. Things varied across the region, but until not too long ago many countries had military governments, which tended to be unstable, and there were certainly issues of poverty. Considering the political environment, who the hell has time for the stereotypical middle class white woman idea of a wedding?
Can you be less self absorbed and realize you're dealing with different cultures and countries?
Quote:
Originally Posted by NyWriterdude
Not in Colombia and not so common in other Latin American countries, and there are high rates of non marriage about US Latinos, at least is certain cities and among certain demographics.
In recent decades a big part of life in Colombia was survival, survival from war, poverty, oppressive government, among other things. So a stupid marriage ceremony is the last thing on people's minds. I could say the same for much of Latin America. It doesn't mean NOBODY gets married, it means that socioeconomic conditions are such that they don't favor marriage for a lot of people. Also people are at the level of trying to survive, no one has the time for white woman morality.
The vast majority of people wasn't directly affected by war. War ocurred mostly on remote areas. We suffered the consequences non directly getting refugees, the economy was affected, maybe you couldn't go to certain area/region, etc. Colombia always had war, in the recent past it just would entail that guerrilla and other groups controlled wider, but still somewhat remote, areas, and some roads could be dangerous, whereas now they just have influence over small pockets of the territory.
Nobody was worried of getting shot every day, as if in every corner of every place there were someone waiting for you to shoot you (for what reason?)
We don't have any "oppresive government", quite the opposite, it's one of the oldest democracies of Latin America and we have more rights than other countries (euthanasia, gay marriage, gay adoption, decriminalization of drugs for personal use etc).
What you say doesn't even apply for these war torn, remote areas, people lived their lifes there anyway, getting married and whatever. Nobody is that poor not to make a wedding.
As I said people doesn't marry anymore because you have the same civil rights if you live in cohabitation and people's Catholic faith is very bland. In any case what you say doesn't make sense. we have all kinds of festivities, carnivals, religious activites, processions, beauty contests, sport events etc etc. We never stopped doing these things.
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! Wow 99% of what I just said is the bi-product of just how bored I am at what I should be doing right now 
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( I did not get married in the Catholic Church).
