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Sorry if my question sounds stupid. I'm a Korean-American living in Texas and I rarely see White girls dating Asian men. They're so far and few between. I don't know if it's just my city, though.
So, back to my original question: do White girls find us attractive? If not, why?
It might "just" be your state (conservative, except for Austin). Try the West Coast, if you get a chance, or NYC.
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 09-05-2018 at 05:56 PM..
The US is not really a melting pot. It's more of a mixed salad. Lots of different cultures and tribes that tend to stick to themselves and self segregate
For me, it has nothing to do with looking Asian. Some Asian looks could be very beautiful and exotic. It has more to do with the fact that most Asian men are puny-looking, do not dress up-to-date, shirts hanging out, not tall enough, ugly teeth, and features are less exotic, and are less friendly. Although I am beginning to see many younger Asian-American men in the gym, looking very- toned, nice hairdo's, beautiful teeth, and dressing more up- to- date. Also, being very- friendly. So, that type of Asian male, will attract any woman, not necessarily White women.
I don't see Asian men by that description in the US. You sound like you're talking about 80 years ago, or something.
Recently I was in London and encountered many East Asian guys dating White girls who are physically attractive.
In Chinatown restaurants, in trains, in subway,...
While in Hawaii there are many Asian guys marrying White girls, most of them I know are not as attractive as those I saw in London that Asian guys are dating.
Plenty of white women do. My sister has admitted that she does and I've known plenty of white women who agreed.
The biggest hurdle, I think, is the stereotypes that both groups hear about the other. On the one hand for Asian guys there is a certain level of cred that comes with dating a non-Asian woman, but on the other, there's also social pressure to stick to an Asian woman, moreso than you see for men in most other racial communities (white, black, or Latino guys marrying out is largely considered acceptable, while women marrying out is looked upon with more negative connotations; Asian-American communities for a long time seem to have had less a problem with women marrying out than men).
If both sides stopped listening to these outside opinions and just went for what they wanted personally, then there would be a lot more AM/WF couples. Especially now that you have many second/third/fourth generation Asian Americans who are almost 100% culturally western where the men tend to follow Western masculine styles and social norms, and at the same time, the growing popularity and assimilation of Korean and Japanese media and fashion in the West, I think it will become increasingly common.
It's already fairly common on the West Coast... Growing up, I had hapa friends with an Asian dad and white mom, and I saw about as many AM/WF couples in Seattle about ten years ago as I did WM/AF. It was also pretty common in SF/OAK and LA to see an attractive/cool Asian guy with an attractive/cool white woman. I know a few AM/WF couples here in China that originated in Anglo countries (they are usually here for business).
Recently I was in London and encountered many East Asian guys dating White girls who are physically attractive.
In Chinatown restaurants, in trains, in subway,...
While in Hawaii there are many Asian guys marrying White girls, most of them I know are not as attractive as those I saw in London that Asian guys are dating.
Hawaii has always been much more liberal in that respect. When there were still miscegenation laws in the Lower 48 states, Hawaii had no such thing.
I don't see Asian men by that description in the US. You sound like you're talking about 80 years ago, or something.
Yeah, that sounds like a 50-year old Cantonese immigrant/refugee who moved to the US to escape the Cultural Revolution. Most Asian immigrants to the West now have at least some money and education, are hygienic as anyone else, and even if when they first get to the West their style is a bit "off" by local standards, they adapt quickly. If they are born in the West then they are probably as stylish and fashionable as anyone else.
Plenty of white women do. My sister has admitted that she does and I've known plenty of white women who agreed.
The biggest hurdle, I think, is the stereotypes that both groups hear about the other. On the one hand for Asian guys there is a certain level of cred that comes with dating a non-Asian woman, but on the other, there's also social pressure to stick to an Asian woman, moreso than you see for men in most other racial communities (white, black, or Latino guys marrying out is largely considered acceptable, while women marrying out is looked upon with more negative connotations; Asian-American communities for a long time seem to have had less a problem with women marrying out than men).
If both sides stopped listening to these outside opinions and just went for what they wanted personally, then there would be a lot more AM/WF couples. Especially now that you have many second/third/fourth generation Asian Americans who are almost 100% culturally western where the men tend to follow Western masculine styles and social norms, and at the same time, the growing popularity and assimilation of Korean and Japanese media and fashion in the West, I think it will become increasingly common.
It's already fairly common on the West Coast... Growing up, I had hapa friends with an Asian dad and white mom, and I saw about as many AM/WF couples in Seattle about ten years ago as I did WM/AF. It was also pretty common in SF/OAK and LA to see an attractive/cool Asian guy with an attractive/cool white woman. I know a few AM/WF couples here in China that originated in Anglo countries (they are usually here for business).
I don't know if this varies geographically in the US, but I haven't observed the bolded to be true. In my experience and observation, times have changed a lot. Especially now, a lot of millennial East Asian guys and Gen-X-ers as well, don't have that traditional mindset, and if their parents do, well--it's too bad for the parents, in many cases.
The Tibetans have always been outliers in this regard, too, as if they never got the memo, lol. It's very common for Tibetan men of all ages to be married to, or dating American and other Western women. This trend began way back in the 60's, as Tibetans were streaming out of China into the Himalayan countries and India.
I don't know if this varies geographically in the US, but I haven't observed the bolded to be true. In my experience and observation, times have changed a lot. Especially now, a lot of millennial East Asian guys and Gen-X-ers as well, don't have that traditional mindset, and if their parents do, well--it's too bad for the parents, in many cases.
The Tibetans have always been outliers in this regard, too, as if they never got the memo, lol. It's very common for Tibetan men of all ages to be married to, or dating American and other Western women. This trend began way back in the 60's, as Tibetans were streaming out of China into the Himalayan countries and India.
I’m 34, that was my observation from guys my age. I had friends lament to me that their parents wanted them to date another Asian American girl or a significant chunk of their AA friends warning them that they were making a mistake dating a white girl. Asian-Americans, like most other Americans, are pretty likely to defy their family’s wishes to be with who they want, and wait for the family to come around. With each successive generation, traditions have less sway on dating habits... a gen-x Asian American couple whose teen- or college-aged son brings home a white girl probably isn’t going to freak out.
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I don't see Asian men by that description in the US. You sound like you're talking about 80 years ago, or something.