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I'm asking this since the holidays are coming up. I don't know where I'll be yet but they all pretty much say grace before the meal. The funny thing is that NONE of my family is actually religious or goes to church but they all claim to be Christians for the most part. None of them know of my newfound beliefs anyhow. (although my mother has an idea of it...she kept trying to get me to read The Shack...we almost got in an argument over it!) So do you just bow your head and pretend or sit there in defiance and not bow your head. And god forbid (HA!) they ask me to say it! I'm torn between being true to myself or not rocking the boat!
I try to look at it from different angles. If a Christian were at a gathering with a Muslim host they wouldn't praying to Allah before eating. It is the same principle...right?
I just sit there. Since everyone's eyes are closed while grace is being said, they don't know that I'm not participating. And if I'm asked to say grace, I politely decline. No sense in rocking the boat when it wouldn't change anyone's mind anyway.
I once had some friends visit who were religious and said grace before they ate. SWMBO and I refused to participate. We kinda lost touch with them after that!!
My husband and I stand in the back quietly until the others are finished. If somebody notices we didn't bow our head or whatever, then we just point to the kids and it's assumed we were supervising them.
I'm gonna miss that excuse when they get bigger. :|
I just sit there. Since everyone's eyes are closed while grace is being said, they don't know that I'm not participating. And if I'm asked to say grace, I politely decline. No sense in rocking the boat when it wouldn't change anyone's mind anyway.
That's all one can do when someone clicks the 'perform act of reverence' switch. Just let them get on with it. I just hope they are as accommodating at a dinner party where God is not invited.
In fact, I must say that a theist friend and his family used to be invited to pitch into my hog -trough. Doing anything religious before ploughing in never even came up and to their credit they never insisted on praying or suggesting that we should.
I have a crazy aunt who 'found Jesus' in jail a few years back (she's back in now... dealing meth apparently gets you in trouble, Jesus belief or not) and wanted me to say grace before Thanksgiving. Considering NOBODY in my family is religious (we don't even pretend to be) we were kinda thrown off. I decided to make a spectacle of myself, which is kind of expected at family gatherings, and I rambled on and on about 'grace' and the intricacies of christian belief (sarcastically of course) for about 5 minutes before my grandma couldn't bite her tongue anymore and started laughing. My aunt grumbled amen and we began to eat.
Usually, I just make silly faces since everyone's eyes are closed anyway. I haven't been involved with 'grace' since that fateful Thanksgiving 4 or so years back.
I have a crazy aunt who 'found Jesus' in jail a few years back (she's back in now... dealing meth apparently gets you in trouble, Jesus belief or not) and wanted me to say grace before Thanksgiving. Considering NOBODY in my family is religious (we don't even pretend to be) we were kinda thrown off. I decided to make a spectacle of myself, which is kind of expected at family gatherings, and I rambled on and on about 'grace' and the intricacies of christian belief (sarcastically of course) for about 5 minutes before my grandma couldn't bite her tongue anymore and started laughing. My aunt grumbled amen and we began to eat.
Usually, I just make silly faces since everyone's eyes are closed anyway. I haven't been involved with 'grace' since that fateful Thanksgiving 4 or so years back.
Now THAT'S funny! but obviously not the same setting for the OP's situation.
I'd go with the respectful but not participant angle too just sit and wait till it's over.
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