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Look at a used Acura MDX. With SH-AWD they can be surprisingly fun to drive. It doesn't feel like the big ass SUV that it is haha. It's also a honda/acura so it should be reliable.
Oooohhh... And 7 seater? Not gonna happen.
You will need to look into Audis then. But good luck finding that in 7 seater.
And good mpg.
OK, here's a weird one for you. I am in LUVE with my Highlander Hybrid. I average 33mpg. And it's a 7 seater and AWD. I haul 10ft lumber inside if I need to.
Thing is, everyone thinks hybrids are lame slowpokes. Likely based off the first and 2nd gen Prii impression. Mine is 2012 and it actually has excellent dynamics, as you have technically a very good V6 mated with a full of torque electric motor = electric supercharger. It can be very nasty on the road if I wanted to. Also, no one suspects such agility from a family SUV.
Getting one for $20K is problematic though. But those are bullet proof cars. Reliable beyond most standards.
Thing like Cayenne will be way off your mark. Not a 7 seater, not in your price range. Fun to drive indeed.
I would agree with the Highlander being fun to drive-- I just traded in my '14 Highlander (only because it was too small for my family's needs-- three kids, 2 of whom are hockey goalies plus two BIG dogs)-- the 3rd row is decent, but not huge but fine for teens or small adults-- bear in mind though, that cargo space is virtually nil behind the 3rd row (I believe it's 19 cubic feet-- it could contain a grocery order or a few carry on bags, but not much more)
The Highlander handled great, it was extremely reliable, and got decent-- but not great-- gas mileage (obviously, the hybrid would get excellent gas mileage)-- but it was definitely fun to drive (not as fun as my Mercedes AMG convertible, but still fun as far as SUVs go-- though I do prefer my Sequoia as it's more 'truck-y', the gas mileage is a killer). I would also suggest the bench seat for the 2nd row instead of the captains' chairs, though the bench makes access to the 3rd row more challenging, it also allows you to fold down the 3rd row and still have a 5 passenger vehicle.
I would also chime in that I previously had a 2011 Sienna and I **HATED** it with the fire of a thousand suns-- it felt like driving a tin can (it felt lightweight and rattled)-- though the 3rd row was both more accessible and more comfortable than the Highlander (and the cargo area was larger), I can't in good conscience recommend it (at ALL) as even vaguely 'fun to drive'.
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