Making friends with your new neighbors in Hawaii (Hilo, Volcano: high schools, college)

[OpenD]

Originally Posted by 1hotnspicy1

It depends on the "type" of neighborhood you're in.

Exactly. And you've never been in a neighborhood like Hawai'i before.

Originally Posted by 1hotnspicy1

When I move to my new place I expect my neighbor's to come over with a pie (or a set of banana fingers) and ask if I need any help moving in.

Not in Hawai'i.

If they don't come over by day 2, I'm going to their place with a pie and asking them for some kind of help as a way to introduce myself.

Definitely too pushy.

I'll tell them how I couldn't 'move that couch' or whatever without them and tell them If they need my help anytime, don't hesitate to ask.

Nope.

You would benefit from some time reading the archives here. Part of the culture is that a lot of new people leave within months, maybe a year, because Hawai'i isn't what they thought it would be. So there's a surface friendliness, but under that can be an emotional distance until you are seen as a "keeper."

Smile, wave, be nice, be friendly. But don't be pushy. Give the neighbors time to size you up, to get to know you a little. They'll let you know when it's time to get closer. Be patient.

[1hotnspicy1]

That's so sad oregonwoodsmoke, my condolences! But, the song "where I come from, it's cornbread and chicken........".

[1hotnspicy1]

OpenD, me think you're talking about a poverty striken area where fear is the king. You talk about "Hawaii" as though it's one of those Secondary High Schools, the place where troublemakers who may still have a chance go because no normal high school will take them.

I hope you're just painting a sad little picture for whatever reason. If that's the kind of place you live, you need to move immediately!

I've lived on Maui before for 8 years and we did stints on Oahu, so it's not like I'm new to the Islands. I know the old addage 'birds of a feather' seems to be true every where.

When there's a 3 acre separation between neighbors there tends to be less community, for sure, maybe that's what you're experiencing. And there's crappy people everywhere spewing crappy things in every hood.

[whtviper1]

Originally Posted by 1hotnspicy1

I've lived on Maui before for 8 years and we did stints on Oahu, so it's not like I'm new to the Islands. I know the old addage 'birds of a feather' seems to be true every where.

When there's a

Your experience on the Big Island will be vastly different than Oahu or Maui.

[1hotnspicy1]

Seriously? There's alot of discontent, malcontent going on in this forum with this group of people.

I certainly hope that people who come here looking for advice take these 4 or 5 people who speak of their crappy experiences as the true anomalies that they really are.

One guy even spoke of a "drive-by" shooting? as though it's a regular occurrence. Crime in Hawaii rivals that of Qatar and crime on the Big Island rivals that of Switzerland.

To say "ignore your neighbor's until they have a chance to size you up"? What is that? That sounds like prison speak to me.

You guys should stop pissing on other people's parade.

I highly doubt that a well-adjusted person would listen to "let them size you up" advice or "I'll tell them where they can hire someone" anyway. Where does such cantankerosity come from?

Ask someone to pull that thorn out of your paw; I'll do it for ya when we arrive!!!! And I'll bring PIE!

[dulcamara]

I haven't seen much negativity here. Sometimes a dose of realism for starry-eyed mainlanders with visions of a tropical paradise, but most of it seems fairly spot-on.

You may wish to bring a Pacific Norman Rockwell type scene across the ocean - good luck with it and sounds like your heart's in the right place, though the reality may be different than you envision.

[CyberCity]

Yes, sometimes we can get cranky around here. And sometimes a bit exhausted by the "I'm dreaming of a perfect Hawaii for me" attitude that creeps in fairly often.

But on the other hand, this site does offer lots of info on realistic expectations, advice on day-to-day realities, and a highlight of things to watch out for when contemplating a move to here.

Not everyone appreciates straightforward answers, especially if they are dampening their dream of a perfect life here.

[1hotnspicy1]

I know. So you 'folks' had some expectation that didn't pan out. So you've found a place to scour about it. Good for you.

Who said anything about "I'm dreaming of a perfect Hawaii for me"?

Starry eyed mainlanders? Norman Rockwell? Those are some pretty EXTREME examples.

Do you 'folks' think you have some sort of junket on spreading disconnectedness on public forums? Well you don't.

You think the Hawaii forum is any different than any other city-data forum where a cahoot of naysayers form?

If controversy fills your belly and you enjoy making people feel bad, grab a pair of chop sticks and eat up!

[Jungjohann]

As someone who's been here for slightly over two months, I wouldn't even bother loading that container if I were you..

Aloha

[CyberCity]

Jungjohann, you have offered accurate insight.