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charolastra, that is devestating. What an incredible opportunity to pass up. Seriously, that sucks. >
Cancer is a thief.
Edit to add: your attitude is just fine. My goodness, you are so strong, and you have also shown support to so many of us. We are all entitled to have moments of grief, self-pity, anger and frustration. I know I've had my own share of those days.
I am trying to relax and do fun stuff before the mastectomy on the 10th. Had dinner with a friend this Thursday. Last night DH and I went to dinner and a movie with his brother. Next Friday: girl party at a girlfriend's house. Some of us will be trying a Long Island Iced Tea for the first time! DH will be my driver. The next day I fly out to visit my pregnant sister near Pittsburgh, PA for 2 nights. And the following Thursday (day before surgery) my mom comes out to visit and stay for 9 days. I'm nervous but because of all this I really am looking forward to the next two weeks!
char, I can't begin to know how you feel. But I'm sure it isn't going to be easy to reconcile the loss of such a great opportunity. You've already had to give up so much, it hardly seems reasonable that you've been asked to take another hit. I often wonder: Is there really a Master Plan? Hugs.
christina, have fun with your friends and your sister and your Mom. And once your surgery is over, and your recuperative period ends, it's a good bet you'll be back to having good times (and Long Island Iced Teas!) with your buds. Sending good thoughts your way.
Quick rant. I studied abroad in Mexico (and Iceland and England) as an undergrad and made some great connections there with both other Americans and Mexican locals. One of my American friends has been an expat in Mexico City for the past 2 years. He recently was in the position to hire for his company, a professional translation and corporate international relocation company. They are hiring an American to serve as a client manager for their clients in the Southern US - they want someone with multicultural experience, fluency in Spanish, copywriting experience, and a high level of customer service focus. Basically, I am perfect for the job - lived in Mexico for 6 months, grew up in the South, majors in international affairs and Latin American studies, working currently as a copywriter/copyeditor and fundraiser, and very much wanting an international assignment.
After reviewing my resume and cover letter and speaking with me on Skype, my friend's manager OKed him to hire me, relocation paid.
But it's based in Mexico City. There was a thought that I could stay in the US, just move to Atlanta (where I grew up) and work remotely with frequent trips to Mexico. But at the last minute, they nixed it. It would be less expensive to move me to Mexico and deal with the visa then to fly me back and forth and pay for American health insurance.
My risk of relapse is too high to accept. I need to have continuous access to US health insurance so, if I was to relapse, I wouldn't lose coverage in the 6+ months I would need off from work for a stem cell transplant.
I'm devastated. My entire education is geared to a job like this... and I can't do it because of the worries of relapse. I'm also barred from the State Department (made it to the final round before I was cut at 21/22) and Peace Corps until I've hit 5 years in remission.
I'm 24. I should be able to up and move across the world for an amazing opportunity. And I can't because I don't know if the cells in my body are going to rebel.
That really stinks and I know how you are feeling right now...trapped and any decision you make will be the wrong one! I'm in a fragile remission too and need to stay in close proximity to where the specialists who treat me are located. I had to decline an opportunity which presented itself just as I was coming back to work from my medical leave. As much as I would have loved to take it on the demands of the position would have set me back with my recovery.
I too have lived and worked in Mexico City and loved it so I can understand your disappointment, frustration and anger and you are entitled to those feelings. As much as people say don't let cancer define you, it does on some levels and you just can;t get away from it.
I'm sure there will be other opportunities for you so try not to let it get you down too much. You have youth on your side which is to your benefit. I hope you have a life long remission so you can move forward with fulfilling all of your hopes and dreams.
Had my simple, unilateral mastectomy yesterday and it was not half as bad as I anticipated. The pain is less than I had from my lumpectomy! Not sure if that is because of dumb luck, or because I had a different surgeon. Anyway all I am having to take is two Tylenols every 4 hours. I'm so grateful! My follow up with the surgeon is next Friday but he said he will have his nurse call me with the pathology report information as soon as it comes in. Hopefully the chemo did its job and there won't be much to tell.
Had my simple, unilateral mastectomy yesterday and it was not half as bad as I anticipated. The pain is less than I had from my lumpectomy! Not sure if that is because of dumb luck, or because I had a different surgeon. Anyway all I am having to take is two Tylenols every 4 hours. I'm so grateful! My follow up with the surgeon is next Friday but he said he will have his nurse call me with the pathology report information as soon as it comes in. Hopefully the chemo did its job and there won't be much to tell.
Bless your heart. I'm tempted to say "god bless your heart" but that's just a cultural thing within my cultural background; I don't believe in god, but bless your heart, anyway. You are in my thoughts.
I had kidney cancer surgery 2 years ago this month. The doctors said they think they got it all. I also have CKD (Chronic kidney disease) and I am in the final stage 5. My scans are coming up again and it makes me a little nervous this time of year. I have to usually spend 2 hours in that machine for a full scan to be complete. On top of that I have to have regular prostate biopsies which I hate with a passion. If the cancer comes back I cannot have chemo or radiation due to the kidney problem. I have 3 daughters who have offered me a kidney which I cannot accept because as they age something may happen to them as well. It is very difficult to even think about taking an organ from your child. I'm older now (about 60) and I have had a great life so I am not afraid. I will need to begin dialysis soon as my blood feels more and more toxic all the time. Does anyone have any insight into dialysis and what it's like? Any direction or insight is greatly appreciated. Many Thanks.
Thanks mvintar.
Sorry you are going through this halfabuck. I know people who have had renal dialysis but as I have not personally experienced it, I can't really comment about what it is like. It definitely becomes a big part of your life though.
I was going to post this in the "Negative affects of chemo" thread, but it's too chatty. To update:
In terms of reaction to the chemo, I usually only had about 24 hours of discomfort, mostly where I felt "creaky" in my bones. I have to wonder, however, that this recent, post-surgery, post-chemo diagnosis of degenerative osteophorosis is not a condition which was much worsened by the chemo. Not to complain about the chemo, but I do wonder.
I'm in a lot of pain, really can't walk very well -- not without a cane -- and it's not just in my hips and knees (where I was xrayed), but it's all over; arms, ankles, etc. It's very unpleasant. What is required is a lot of weight bearing exercise, some weight loss, and I'm going to try these:
I'm also currently taking D3 and a mutli, from the same company. My family doctor recommended the D and also calcium, but in vegan books there is cited 1,200 studies which incidate that calcium is not useful in this context.
Also decided on a location to retire where there is year 'round swimming, good yoga practices, and everything else I need. Moving is going to be horrible, but it has to be done. Oh, and incidentally -- if anyone is interested -- please write me privately, because I finished my dad's book. Finally.
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DH will be my driver. The next day I fly out to visit my pregnant sister near Pittsburgh, PA for 2 nights. And the following Thursday (day before surgery) my mom comes out to visit and stay for 9 days. I'm nervous but because of all this I really am looking forward to the next two weeks!
