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Its not blame just to blame or judge. Its the idea that if you don't identify problems they'll never get fixed. If you don't teach people to recognize poor decision making they'll keep doing the same thing over and over. In order to teach people you have to point out - hey that was a bad decision, here are some of the things you should have considered first. If that seems like "blame" so be it.
If you just sit back and say and do nothing..., its like saying - hey what your doing is ok just go right on ahead.
And, I understand what you are saying here, but I suppose part of the issue that I'm seeing is who are *we*, as people who have no idea what truly is going on (aside from a tragically dead kitten), to "teach her"? Do we know that this person doesn't already know that this was a bad choice?
Just like the person giving away the black cat, we have no idea what their circumstances are. Maybe it is simply too much for them, at this point, to deal with a rambunctious toddler and have a cat who is prone to scratching. Maybe the toddler has some sort of issue which makes it extremely difficult to treat a small animal gently. There are, I'm sure, tons of reasons "why", and without knowing what the particular situation is, I believe that it's awfully presumptuous to pass judgment and to write responses to ads telling them exactly the way you feel.
If the assistance is asked for, and given in a constructive (read "non-preachy") manner, no problem, IMO.
You responded to a comment made about a second craigslist ad. The ad about the child who killed a kitten. Did you read this entire thread?
If she was talking about a different ad, maybe (s)he should have quoted the post referring to a different ad instead of making an open post making it look like (s)he was referring to the original post.
My post stands those of you who called the kid in the original post "spoiled" and the like because he hasn't developed full impulse control at three years old.
Please take this little kitten (http://dayton.craigslist.org/pet/1848345027.html - broken link)
This is the second add. It's already 3 pages back, though.
Try to keep up with us, Drover! lol
Oh, and ... the "cat" from the first post is 3 years old. Not the kid. I think you're getting confused.
In the meantime, thankyou for being a sounding board for me, guys. It really helped me work through a lot of frustration I have - not particularly against the "black cat craiglist poster", but to the bulk of them in general that I deal with on a daily basis. The power to endure pain outlives the power to inflict it. These animals can be happier somewhere else, regardless. My time and energy would be better spent biting my tongue and working harder on finding replacement homes, rather than letting the cumulative effect of a callous populous en masse affect me on such a personal level. I think, though, that a lot of people wouldn't be doing this, if it weren't personal to them on some level.
I read a great quote today, I'm trying to dig back and find it.. it was something along the lines of, "My wallet is always empty, my heart is always full, my house is never clean, my home has never been happier, and my work in this world is never done. I am a foster." gah.. something like that, they said it better - i'm gonna tab out and go back to digging for it.
Last edited by Marylandkitten; 07-18-2010 at 11:10 AM..
So sending someone an angry unconstructive rant like you did is making things better? Come on, don't play games. You didn't write that to make things better for that cat, you wrote it for yourself.
And you know I am speaking the truth, hence your mention of a more constructive email you supposedly made to another CL poster. You put that in your response to mitigate your original posted email, which was obviously about you and not the cat.
she said she knew that she went over the top .... those of us that walk the walk in addition to talking the talk TOTALLY get this reaction......
Quote:
Originally Posted by luvmycat
All I can say is that I thank my lucky stars for the irresponsible jerks who abandoned the beautiful animals I have in my life right now...they are loved, spoiled, and happy...if the previous owners hadn't dumped them, I wouldn't have the joy of their presence in my life. In the end, we must believe that things happen for a reason...there is a better place for the lil black kitty, with someone who will appreciate her and love her for the rest of her life. That being said, I do understand the frustration of not being able to take any more creatures on at the moment...I can foster only one at a time now, but it's better than nothing...as long as we continue to do what we can, it IS making a difference, one life at a time...
yep .... gotta say the same thing about my 4 fuzzbutts......
Quote:
Originally Posted by ouijeewoman
It's really quite simple. If you're allergic to animals and you don't want to take meds, then don't adopt an animal! If you already have animals and develop an allergy then the RESPONSIBLE thing to do is take the meds and don't adopt any more animals. When you adopt an animal it is a commitment for the life time of that animal. Own up to it. And since you feel so strongly about it I would suggest you refrain from adopting any more pets just in case you develop an allergy.
There is an animal shelter 4 miles from me that has 550 cats! 300 will be euthanized this week due to the over crowding. These cats all belonged to people out there who decided their cats were disposable due to allergies, children in the house, etc. The only cats that should be in shelters are those whose owners died. I won't apologize for the way I feel. A pet is no more disposable than a child or any other human.
i tend to think that allergies is just an easy excuse..... i highly doubt that there are that many more people allergic to everything that we see these days as opposed to when i was a kid.....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Drover
Bingo. About 8 years ago I had to find my dogs a new home. It was a heart-wrenching decision and I still miss them to this day. But before my life got turned upside-down necessitating that I find them a different home, I myself had rescued several dogs, both taking them in myself (including one of the two I had to place in another home) and finding suitable homes other than mine. And when I did, I was never a screeching, judgmental a-hole about it.
So when the tables turned and it was my turn to find a new home for my dogs, I'm glad I was able to place them with compassionate new family without them or anyone else being screeching, judgmental a-holes about it. If people can expect hostile, self-righteous screeds from complete strangers when they at least try to be responsible enough to place pets in new homes, you can be sure that many will just dump them on shelters or choose outright abandonment instead.
So the message to the zealots is this: if you want to see an overall diminution of animal welfare, keep shouting your condemnationational sermons at these people and/or encouraging others to do so with congratulatory pats on the back. If you want to improve animal welfare, be glad those who find themselves in an unworkable situation are at lest trying to find them another home instead of just dumping them.
i have had to rehome 2 dogs over the past 16 months or so.... won't go into details here.... i have posted the stories in other threads before..... BUT my point to this comment is this..... i never for ONE SECOND considered posting them on craigs list or freecycle...... i had to know that they were being placed in good foster homes with responsible rescues..... both cost me a fortune and a couple thousand miles on my car.... but the peace of mind of knowing they were safe and well cared for was well worth it to me......
Quote:
Originally Posted by mishigas73
We have no idea what happened. Does the child have some sort of deficiency that makes her unable to deal properly with a kitten?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Drover
Yeah, how about the fact that the kid is THREE and consequently doesn't have fully developed empathy and impulse control yet?
Glad to see that so many of you are both perfect pet owners and perfect parents who had complete control over your kids by the time they were three.
i never had children ... my choice..... BUT..... we had dogs and cats in our family from before i was born.... there is a picture of me at about 18 months in my playpen with the dog trying to steal my bottle... ..... my mother instilled in us from infancy that our pets were living creatures that had feelings and that could be injured and that deserved our respect and depended on us for the welfare..... were we ever too rough with any of them?? i'm sure at times we were..... but never to the point of injury to either the dog or cat or my brother or me..... my mother made sure of that..... and btw ..... this was in the early 60's .......
mk .... i can TOTALLY see where you came from with your response to that ad..... i thought the same thing ..... i subscribe to freecycle and see ads for dogs and cats and puppies and kittens ALL THE TIME .... the few that i have responded to with tips to ensure that the animal being dumped doesn't wind up as bait, or worse, have garnered me some very nasty and defensive replies.......
I used to have a neighbor with a young daughter. She was very energetic and occasionally very wild. And they had a cat. He taught her how to handle the cat and not hurt her. But one time she got mad and pulled the cats tail and got a large scrach for it.
Mom marched her into treat the scrach. He got kitty and gave her some calming and comfort. And when everyone was calmed down he explained that she'd hurt the kitty. He was sorry she got a scrach but it would heal and kitty was just defending herself.
She did learn. But if you DON'T teach kids how to take care of animals, how are they ever going to? I sure hope this little black beauty finds someone who understands this, though she is probably afraid of kids by now. I have three black kitties and two of them looked just like that way back then.
Actually, some people are, and that's what some of us are responding to here.
I think the responses are related to this ad and saying we can't judge. But sometimes judgement from friends, co-workers, family, and others can be an education. No judgement could also equate to enabling. I am talking about the OP here--that other ad--haven't read it
I think the responses are related to this ad and saying we can't judge. But sometimes judgement from friends, co-workers, family, and others can be an education. No judgement could also equate to enabling. I am talking about the OP here--that other ad--haven't read it
Disagree totally. For when we judge, that judgment comes back and bites us right on the butt. Judgment is an education for US when we are treated the same.....and it will happen.
Oh, yes, we have intelligence to know what is right and wrong, for us. That does not make it necessarily so for anyone else.
Don't take my words the wrong way here....please. I have been fighting the good fight for many years with people who neglect and abuse animals. I do walk my talk, BUT, I really try, and the operative word here is try, NOT to judge....a LOT easier said then done in some cases and on some days when we feel hot under the collar as it is.
I agree that the wording rubs me really wrong (first ad) BUT is it my interpretation that rubs me wrong, or is it the way the woman actually meant it? That is why I am so careful not to jump on somebody but try to "see" the meaning behind the words and or actions.
MK, I totally know, believe me, I totally know where you are coming from! Anyone who does what you do will snap on occasion, and if we are honest with ourselves, we all of us here do it. We are passionate about saving the lives of these poor animals, or at least some of us here are. And when there is passion, there tend to be "hot" emotions involved.
I commend you totally for the work you are doing, MK. No judgment on my part about your response. It is not my place. You are human and stumbling along with the rest of us in certain areas of our lives, so that we can learn to be better at being human.
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We don't know how old the child is in the SECOND craigslist ad.
..... my mother instilled in us from infancy that our pets were living creatures that had feelings and that could be injured and that deserved our respect and depended on us for the welfare..... were we ever too rough with any of them?? i'm sure at times we were..... but never to the point of injury to either the dog or cat or my brother or me..... my mother made sure of that..... and btw ..... this was in the early 60's ....... 
