Is New Canaan snooty or snobby? (Fairfield, Wilton: apartment, house, living in)
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It always seems like the people who don't live in these towns have no problem proclaiming how snooty they are. I think if you live there, or have lived there you understand the towns a bit better and aren't so fast to call the snobby. Yes, there is a lot of money in Westport, New Cannan, Darien, Greenwich, however that shouldn't be an indictment of the towns themselves. The people who have lived in these towns have funded the schools systems to be among the best in the country. The town facilities are second-to-none.
I grew up in Trumbull--more working class-- and Westport. I didn't find the people to be all that different. People are people. You were just as likely to have someone help you jump your car, or stop an errant grocery cart in either of these towns.
No, people don't say hi to everyone they see like a simpleton. Welcome to the northeast! We have places to go, and actually like to get there on time. Some would say punctuality is virtuous... maybe even more virtuous of providing empty greetings to strangers. If you want random strangers to say 'hi' move to Texas (where I am leaving to move back to CT in a matter of months)...
Take the time to realize that there are good and crappy people independent of whether they are wealthy, middle class or poor.
Interestingly in Westport recently there were a number of media stories about a retired learning disabled high school janitor who had been hit by a car and killed. A number of tributes came in, discussing this life-long town resident. Lots of people in town cared about the man. Newspaper and online accounts discussed Westporters providing him with rides (he did not drive), checking on him and encouraging him to participate in the town electoral process. Not very snobby. Actually pretty heartfelt and touching. All of these wealthy people actually cared about this retired janitor who lived in a trailer. Westport, as I remember also has a homeless shelter, a well stocked and well staffed (with volunteers) soup kitchen...
Point being, please don't judge these towns so harshly unless you've experienced them for yourself. Too much judging a book by its cover going on here...
I will say that the descriptions of New Canaan are similar to what you would find in any suburb throughout the country. And that goes for those of more modest means than New Canaan. Jay
I will say that the descriptions of New Canaan are similar to what you would find in any suburb throughout the country. And that goes for those of more modest means than New Canaan. Jay
Exactly.
You should see the cars I pass driving through Seymour to Oxford along Great Hill Rd and Route 188 - high end Mercedes, Range Rovers, BMWs, etc. The same cars I'd see cruising around town in backcountry Greenwich or New Canaan - only thing is the household income in Oxford and Seymour is about half of most towns in lower FFC. I'm not sure where people are getting the money for these vehicles (that cost probably 1/10 of their home). Either they're spending what they don't have or there has been a serious influx of wealth in the Valley.
My parents recently built a home in Oxford and say that while the town is very friendly, the sense of entitlement there is much greater than that of New Canaan. That may have a lot to do with many new residents from Fairfield County, NY and CA (most of my parent's neighbors are from CA and the Norwalk area).
Well
I live in one of these "snooty" towns. I'm NOT a have not. I may not be a filthy rich person, put I can buy what I want for the most part.
Now, "snooty towns" (and I've lived in 4, not all but enough, I think) all have a few things in common.
(Please, there are ALWAYS a FEW exceptions, I give you that, OK?)
1. If your asleep at a light, in a snooty town, and the light turns green....don't worry, no one will beep.....at least not for the first 10 seconds. Less affluent towns...give it about TWO seconds.
2. School are ALWAYS great, and the townfolk NEVER complain about tax hikes going toward education.......even if its for FUR cover laptops. Its good, but nauseating at the same time.
3. I lost TWO siblings in an accident. I NEVER EVER recieved kinder, more giving attention than I did from "snooty" town people. I will ALWAYS APPRECIATE IT. You see, I think these people could EMPATHIZE with losing loved ones.
4. CONTRARY to the above story, I NEVER EVER got such a cold shoulder as I did by the SAME people when I lost my business. As SOON, and I mean AS SOON as I told them I lost my income and had to "downsize" (downsizing is the little "in" word these people use to admitting you are no longer a high earning "beautiful" person. The thought of having no money is UNAMAGINABLE OR HORRIFYING to them.) They ran like I put a M80 in their butts. I was really bumming and then I realized, to these people, living without MONEY is unTHINKABLE. Your relatives can die, it really doesn't have ANYTHING to do with you......but loosing you MONEY? How plebian. And this happened ACROSS the board with my higher earning "friends". As the pay scale went down, the reaction was less crazed.
Rich towns have ALOT of nice things. BUt the NICE things are those that effect your life NOT on a close personal level. Friendships, kinships, are basically based on WHO you are, not WHAT you are.
Money rules these towns, and it shouldn't surprise anyone. You send you son to Bobby Knight to play ball, are you gonna cry when he slaps your kid silly for dropping the ball?? Of course not. ANd in these towns, don't get bummed out if they folks there STRESS MONEY in every SINGLE aspect of their lives. You CAN'T go to school, excel in it, get a high end job, put in mega hours to earn that money and then NOT see the world through the color GREEN. I understand this....I just don't like it.
I do want to say that we went hiking last year in Greenwich, I wish I remembered the name of the park, and it was evident there were a lot of locals because many were walking dogs, etc. The people were really friendly, one man led us out after we got lost and another even gave us his own personal map and said he could get another one. I don't know if New Canaan is exactly the same on the snoot scale, but usually they are mentioned in the same breath.
Flavorpacket: In my post it says we are originally from New York! Trust me, we have a thick skin and are well acquainted with type-A east coasters...both me and my husband could easily be described that way. My point though, is why live in a place that is stand-offish and where your kids are criticized for not wearing Juicy Couture?? I dont think it takes too much energy or time out of anyone's day to say "good morning" when passing on the street. Does that really stop anyone from achieving their financial goals?? We are quite successful and yet we dont mind extending courtesy to anyone we pass on the street, or holding a door open for someone entering the shop behind us. How can we expect the rest of the world to treat us with respect if we can't even treat each other decently?
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Hehe
