Janitor too friendly with my third grader, am I being too paranoid? (start, parents)
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Now why would this be a better idea than stopping in to see the principal?
And when the gift finds its way back to the janitor, will he speak to the child? What will he say?
And, why exactly would the parent be apologizing in the note?
It would be better than stopping in to see the principal because he has the business of another 300-600 students at hand, some of it maybe more serious than a Santa hat. Why take up the principals valuable time on an issue, not yet known to be serious at all when a letter or email would suffice.
If the gift finds it way back to the Janitor, which I doubt, it will be through his principal who will inform him of the parent concern. The janitor gets a chance to let the principal know the concern is unfounded, and you have your concern in writing. Stopping in to see him will guarantee you a boiler plate response.
In the civilized world it is always polite to apologize when declining a gift or an offer. example: I'm very sorry to inform you that we must decline your generous gift due to the circumstance we already have a Santa hat, thanks anyway!"
Has the OP ever sat in on their child's lunch hour?
In my children's last school, one of the janitor's there spent time with all the kids. He knew when someone had a birthday and he would lead the entire room in singing to the birthday child. He often would stop and talk with one or two of the kids. He was super friendly and entirely harmless. Once in awhile, he'd share a treat with one or two well behaved kids and coincidentally, I saw him pass out a Santa hat one day. One of the kids that were joining us and our dd for lunch mentioned that he did this everyday (in the month of December), and the three (including mine) that were sitting with us all bemoaned the fact that none of them had been chosen yet.
I have only just started to look at this thread, but it makes me think of the janitor at that school. He was a good man, not creepy. But to a parent who is unaware that these things are done for all the children, hearing the story from their child, could make it seem that way.
Every child likes to think they're special and while some may be embarassed by the extra attention, the majority seemed to enjoy their time in the spotlight.
I can imagine one of those kids going home and telling their mom that they got a gift from the janitor. I can also imagine that parent questioning their child further and finding out their son had conversations before with him. I can also see that child telling their parent that they were "the only one".
But only a parent who had visited the cafeteria (or asked the principal about it, vs confronting the principal in an agitated state) would know the truth.
Am I the only one who has a problem with this judgement?
Low pay=potentially creepy people
high pay= no creepy people
No.
Quote:
Originally Posted by thriftylefty
It would be better than stopping in to see the principal because he has the business of another 300-600 students at hand, some of it maybe more serious than a Santa hat. Why take up the principals valuable time on an issue, not yet known to be serious at all when a letter or email would suffice.
If the gift finds it way back to the Janitor, which I doubt, it will be through his principal who will inform him of the parent concern. The janitor gets a chance to let the principal know the concern is unfounded, and you have your concern in writing. Stopping in to see him will guarantee you a boiler plate response.
In the civilized world it is always polite to apologize when declining a gift or an offer. example: I'm very sorry to inform you that we must decline your generous gift due to the circumstance we already have a Santa hat, thanks anyway!"
It would be better than stopping in to see the principal because he has the business of another 300-600 students at hand, some of it maybe more serious than a Santa hat. Why take up the principals valuable time on an issue, not yet known to be serious at all when a letter or email would suffice.
If the gift finds it way back to the Janitor, which I doubt, it will be through his principal who will inform him of the parent concern. The janitor gets a chance to let the principal know the concern is unfounded, and you have your concern in writing. Stopping in to see him will guarantee you a boiler plate response.
In the civilized world it is always polite to apologize when declining a gift or an offer. example: I'm very sorry to inform you that we must decline your generous gift due to the circumstance we already have a Santa hat, thanks anyway!"
And another new angle.
OK, you think the principal should or does deal with the students more than his administrative responsibilities? Too busy for a parent with a concern about the janitor? News for you. The principal is the administrator. Its his job to meet with the parent on a matter involving non academic staff or the child's welfare.
OK, so you are pretty sure that the volunteer, secretary or student aid is going to give the hat to the principal instead of the janitor and how is that opinion arrived at, exactly? Do you work in the office?
And wouldn't an apology only be appropriate if you are giving the hat back to the janitor as opposed to the principal? Or were you thinking that the Principal could convey your regrets to the janitor?
Once again, nonsense aside, the correct answer is for mom to stop in to see the principal.
OK, you think the principal should or does deal with the students more than his administrative responsibilities? Too busy for a parent with a concern about the janitor? News for you. The principal is the administrator. Its his job to meet with the parent on a matter involving non academic staff or the child's welfare.
OK, so you are pretty sure that the volunteer, secretary or student aid is going to give the hat to the principal instead of the janitor and how is that opinion arrived at, exactly? Do you work in the office?
And wouldn't an apology only be appropriate if you are giving the hat back to the janitor as opposed to the principal? Or were you thinking that the Principal could convey your regrets to the janitor?
Once again, nonsense aside, the correct answer is for mom to stop in to see the principal.
Based on my experience with schools, some are so big they have community and parent liaison staff to deal with these issues. Some are so small I have talked with a principal while he mopped a lunch room floor or tended to a kid with a first aid kit. I have also waited to talk to a principal for a scheduled appointment while he dealt with a police matter in his office. My meeting with him had to wait an hour.
Based on my experience I wouldn't suggest some one pop in a school to chat with the principal unless they have a few hours to kill. The secretary guards his time because these guys are strapped for free time.
Around here I would call Vera in the front Office and say "hey my son said Mike gave him a Santa Hat is that okay for him to do that?”
Closer to home, I knew who the janitors were in my kids schools because I was an involved parent who was a frequent visitor at the school. (The creepy guy work the evening shift) The best "repellent” against pedophiles and people who will harm your child is your presence. Try to be involved with the school help out, volunteer, go to all the functions, and drive your kids to and from school yourself. Most pedophiles will quickly mark your kid off the list if he thinks a parent is always around.
[SIZE=3] [/SIZE]
I've only skimmed through this thread, so can't comment on the entire issue.
but I have a few points to make:
First, a staff member gives a gift to a child, and that's seen as 'questionable', but the entire gift giving thing is almost "mandatory" in elementary schools. It seemed just about every month there was some sort of gift ocassion---teacher's birthday, teacher appreciation day (hey, I thought that was called pay day?), then all the other staff appreciation days----we had appreciate everyone, from office ladies, to nurses, to, yes, the janitor! Every time you turned around you were being "encouraged" send a gift for various staff members. With two kids, it became a major budget buster. Also, lets not forget Valentine's Day, Christmas, etc, etc.
So, then, we encourage the kids (or actually the parents) to gift the staff, then get suspicous when the staff gifts the kids?
Based on my experience with schools, some are so big they have community and parent liaison staff to deal with these issues. Some are so small I have talked with a principal while he mopped a lunch room floor or tended to a kid with a first aid kit. I have also waited to talk to a principal for a scheduled appointment while he dealt with a police matter in his office. My meeting with him had to wait an hour.
Based on my experience I wouldn't suggest some one pop in a school to chat with the principal unless they have a few hours to kill. The secretary guards his time because these guys are strapped for free time.
Around here I would call Vera in the front Office and say "hey my son said Mike gave him a Santa Hat is that okay for him to do that?”
Closer to home, I knew who the janitors were in my kids schools because I was an involved parent who was a frequent visitor at the school. (The creepy guy work the evening shift) The best "repellent” against pedophiles and people who will harm your child is your presence. Try to be involved with the school help out, volunteer, go to all the functions, and drive your kids to and from school yourself. Most pedophiles will quickly mark your kid off the list if he thinks a parent is always around.
[SIZE=3] [/SIZE]
Ooooooh, watch out! I got slammed on another thread for wanting to know where my dd goes and who she associates with. I was slammed for being over protective (is there such a thing?). My dd is 13, what she does, where she goes, and who with, I know. I don't care if it doesn't sit right with others, too bad.
Based on my experience I wouldn't suggest some one pop in a school to chat with the principal unless they have a few hours to kill. The secretary guards his time because these guys are strapped for free time.
Sorry, but I think you've got it wrong. Parents aren't an interference with the principal's job, their concerns are his job!
Don't get me wrong I am not saying its a bad idea to pop into a school unannounced, but I have been in 1000's of offices at all times of the school day and some of them are like a busy airports. First you go through security, get a badge, some times you relinquish your drivers license ,show picture ID, sign in state your business, and sit down and wait until the needs of 300 kids are taken care of
But just to get back on topic a bit, It was my understanding that many schools require staff to be drug tested, have background checks and their fingerprints run through a data base. At some point you have to accept that the school district has done everything possible to make sure everyone there has your childs best interest at heart.
I have no issue with popping into the school unannounced; I think schools should be open. In these days of heightened security, you may have to have a good reason to get past the front door, though. When my kids were in ele. school (admittedly pre-Columbine) parents could eat lunch with their kids, so if that is the case in the OP's kid's school, I think it would be a good idea for her (OP) to do so. To talk to the principal, you probably need an appointment.
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