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I think it's pretty sad that so many here equate parents paddling a child with being out of control, and an easy "out" in regard to discipline.
Spanking my kiddo is one of the hardest things I have ever done. For those who think it's an easy out, I tell you, you are wrong. I cried the first time I did it. It killed me, but I also know that there is no "reasoning" with a toddler who is hell-bent on touching the stove.
I guess I just have to live with all your judgments and pray to God that the love, affection, discipline, and care I give to my daughter will be enough to get her through this twisted world, and hopefully she won't grow up to have a fetish/S&M side to her, or feel like she needs to beat her kids or be beaten by her spouse, or end up in jail. I pray she grows up because of what I do. Just grows up. She doesn't have to be a rocket scientist or go to MIT, I just want her to be able to make it through high school and/or college years, so she can take those lessons into adulthood. Those are my hopes in doing what I do as a parent. I think any other parent, whether they spank or not, can relate to that.
I know the difference between spanking and abuse. My mom and dad spanked me. My aunt and uncle with my cousins, though? Yikes. That was borderline abuse for sure. With my daughter, it is much like with what my parents gave me. Obviously thought-out but quickly administered. Three pops on the backside--usually the back of my leg--not with anything else but the palm of a hand. Enough to sting, but not enough to bruise or hurt badly. My dad always called it "A Reminder" (as in "Do you need A Reminder?" and I would understand my position 100% at that point). It was clearly done out of love (at 7 years old you don't think so, but at 17 I understood, which of course is the point of it) and clearly done because they cared about me. To say anything else is just insulting my parents. They were wonderful people who gave us a LOT of love.
I think that corporal punishment should be optional. If the parents say yes then sure, but only for major things not something like missing your homework. When I was in elementary since it was private school the teachers would sometimes joke about bringing back the paddling so of course the kids would adjust their attitudes accordingly for the rest of the day.
North Carolina has two recent cases of corporal punishment involving injuries to the point that each boy was taken to the ER. No action to date has been taken against either teacher.
The more recent of these cases happened in McDowell County schools, when a 12 year old boy was paddled for telling another student to "shut up."
The educator took two boards bound together with electrical tape and paddled the student.
The child was severely bruised. The locals are OK with this outcome, and although law enforcement was called, the DA will not press charges, as the intent was "not criminal."
Be you for or against the use of corporal punishment in the home or in schools, we must all draw a line in the sand. If a child is hit by an adult with two wooden boards bound together with electrical tape, and ends up with massive bruises and welts, I would say beyond any doubt that this result is child abuse.
Who does a parent call when the abuser is a teacher?
The "good" old days of paddling? You have got to be kidding! If my son got paddled in school, he would probably grab it from her and break it half. HA! I got hit on two occasions in the 70's in school and I thought to myself at the age of 7, if anyone ever hit my children, WATCH OUT!
In this day and age, anyone with a brain that knows hitting a child sends the message it's okay to hit when your angry. Any adult who hits a child should be put in jail. Glad it's not acceptable in the state of Washington. Good grief!
I remember in the good old days of the 1960s if a kid were to goof off in class or do pretty much anything wrong, he would get the paddle. I also remember kids being slammed against the lockers like crazy by some very aggressive teachers. I suspect this has ended in an era of political correctness and overzealous lawyers. But maybe not, how about in some small towns in the south?
Should they bring back the paddle in school?
(1) I think that some states or districts have never stopped paddling, so yes, they DO paddle kids.
(2) No, I don't think that physical aggression is the answer. Bending over to have someone hit you with a big wood paddle seems demeaning to me.
As a parent of almost 23+ years, being a parent of a larger family, I can't say that I want my school paddling my kids. Trust me, if I found out that any of them did anything that would warrant a paddling, my husband and I would take care of it immediately. There would be talking with the teacher, apologies to the teacher and/or class if it was warranted. Our goal is to raise good, responsible adults (as I'm sure everyone here has that same goal). I think there is too much room for human error, for the same kid to get paddled over and over again. I think that the point of discipline is to correct/modify behavior. I'm not so sure that physical aggression is the path to good behavior on the student's part. Maybe it is for some. (Paddling was allowed at my school as I was growing up). I knew that some of the kids simply came from homes that had a lot of dysfunction. I'm not saying that the teacher (nor the other students) need to put up with bad behavior; they shouldn't. It's disruptive to the teacher and the whole class.
As far as political correctness, I do think that some of that is involved. On the other hand, as you pointed out, there ARE some very zealous educators (and parents by the way who practice the "come out with me to the woodshed" method of discipline) that in today's world would have the CPS out investigating. Bottom line, it's not easy for schools today for many reasons. Honestly, the truth to all of this is that it's the parents 100% RESPONSIBILITY to discipline their own kids. Because some parents are not willing or perhaps able to accomplish this, the discipline has to occur at school. This is a tough problem, I agree.
P.S. - I got paddled once in elementary school. To this day, I'm not even sure why this happened, what I did. Our family moved to the U.S. from Europe at the end of 1968 at my age of just turning 6. I know that I was still in the process of learning English, did learn it proficiently within a few years, but there were some communication errors that occurred. All I know is that I, along with a few other classmates, got a paddling from our teacher or principal (I don't even remember) as it was a long time ago. All I know is that I felt incredible humiliation, shame, and hurt, and I don't think that a small child should ever go through this.
"Honestly, the truth to all of this is that it's the parents 100% RESPONSIBILITY to discipline their own kids. Because some parents are not willing or perhaps able to accomplish this, the discipline has to occur at school. This is a tough problem, I agree." (Quoting Donna7 as above)
Before I go off on the topic, "the myth", I want to begin by telling the Donna that I do agree with almost all that you said. I just want to make a point about the above statement, as many well disciplined children who are well behaved are being beaten at school. Thanks for a well written post.......don't take this personally.
Educators seem to crave catching children guilty of the slightest infraction, and hitting them to the point of child abuse.
It is a huge myth that children who are corporally punished at school are not disciplined at home. It is shocking to advocate for children and hear the absurd if not imaginary reasons that educators seem to crave hitting children for. I have not met a child or family who was not supportive of discipline in the home and at school who needed help after an incident of corporal punishment went badly for the child. In fact, many of the parents agreed to the corporal punishment, trusting the school with this act. These parents are now the biggest supporters of banning corporal punishment in schools, as their children were injured as a result of being hit.
Examples include a girl in Texas who failed to show how she worked out math problems on 17% Of her math homework, and was taken into the principal's office and beaten black and blue: Groveton, Texas.
That should have been solved with a grade of 83% on her homework assignment, it was NOT even a discipline issue.
Another boy in Groveton, Texas had an asthma attack and could not run at PE. His teacher ignored his request to stop running, he muttered "this sucks" under his panting breaths, and he was beaten black and blue as well. His case was tried in federal court, and he did not prevail. The law protects teachers who injure children.
Here in NC the two children I am helping:
One played a game of flinch with his best friend, which entailed playful punches to the arm, he got caught doing a punch, and was beaten black and blue, Robeson County, NC.
Another child told another student to "shut up" and he was beaten, McDowell County, NC.
Here in Union County, NC, multiple children were corporally punished for being tardy to class. This county did not stop when it came to disabled children, beating the most disabled children in the states of NC and SC in a year.
In Alabama, a large group of students were struck for "Disrupting the school environment", the offense? Hair that the principal deemed to be disruptive as it was found to be touching the eyebrows or collar.
Untucked shirt in Mississippi? Bam, hit all of those bad kids, in fact, a busload at a time. Showing your ankles.....that too will leave you covered in bruises. 10% of all students in Mississippi are hit in a year, for absolutely the most benign of offenses. This state is trailing the country in the health and well being of children, hitting is not the answer.
I know that as an advocate for this issue, I hear more than the average person on this topic. Children are being injured by educators for the most minor of offenses, every day. This is not a step that is taken as a last ditch effort. This is an addiction for principals and teachers who have no skills to handle children, and see this as a solution to every minor act of misconduct in the school setting. It is degrading to the teaching profession to have educators promote violence as a solution. It makes about as much sense as having an oncologist hand out cigarettes to treat lung cancer.
Last edited by pegmomof4; 01-18-2008 at 07:09 PM..
Reason: typo
It is a black and blue day for the children in McDowell County Schools, in North Carolina. On Tuesday night, I presented factual data in closed session to the nine members of the board of education. The mother of a child who was corporally punished and bruised spoke as well.
Despite the fact that a teacher took two wooden boards bound together with black electrical tape and struck and bruised a child, the McDowell County schools superintendent issued the following statement to me today, via email:
"After considering your presentation to the group the board has decided to take no action about their policy on corporal punishment at this time. Thanks, Ira Trollinger"
This matter is far from over, as we are seeking any and all means to remedy this, to include legal assistance. It is very frightening to know that a school board would actually place a stamp of approval on an act that resulted in child abuse.
Yes.
I grew up in Louisiana in a very small town named Chataignier.
The paddle was still used then, this was in the late 80's.
I never got the paddle, of course, but I know a few kids that did. I really do think that kids should get a good ol' but swappin'. Straighten out those little boogers.
Just because it's still legal on the books, it doesn't mean that it's still happening. I teach in Kentucky, which according to the list above is legal, but my county does not use corporal punishment.
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Paddling still exsists???????
