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Old 12-03-2018, 01:28 PM
 
2,073 posts, read 1,052,773 times
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We used to spend days off in NYC when we lived in NJ and while it is a fabulous city to visit, I wouldn't want to live there. My favorites were Central Park and The Cloisters, which probably verifies I am not a city person. Since you're not thrilled with Portland either, maybe you'd be more suited for a small(er) city environment, more outdoorsy stuff, more laid-back people, less stress, etc. It would probably be harder to find a good job, but even smaller cities need professionals so you might luck out.
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Old 12-03-2018, 02:26 PM
 
Location: Oklahoma City, OK
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Good luck to you, OP. I regretted not going to NY to live in my mid-20's when I could have made a fortune on Wall Street. I was too scared. Stayed in the south and struggled through my career. It took a move to the middle of the country to get my career on track after the recession, but I hate it here. This isn't home for me like NYC isn't for you, but at least you can say you did it. That's a story to tell your kids. I played it safe, and as a result, have lived a very dull life, especially the past decade.

Anyway, if I were you, I'd move south and stay on the East coast. People are friendlier there and you'll have an easier time making friends.
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Old 12-03-2018, 02:27 PM
 
Location: North
829 posts, read 1,524,798 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Foamposite View Post
Bed Stuy is not a food desert, it is rapidly gentrifying with more and more food establishments opening up. Also, the existing Caribbean food options can be healthy depending on what you order.

I'm less familiar with Gravesend but I doubt it's really a food desert either. It's a very diverse neighborhood with all sorts of cuisines to try.
I'm pretty sure the OP is not referring to restaurants, but to fresh food markets so this wouldn't apply.

OP, I'm with you. I worked in Manhattan for more than 5 years, but that place is not for everybody. Cost of living is very expensive and the jobs don't pay enough to afford all that NYC has to offer. Take it as a lesson learned, check in you bucket list and find a new city that might be more up your alley.

I do agree that NYC is very romanticized in the movies, TV, etc as the "place" to be, but it's a crushing place for some.
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Old 12-03-2018, 04:46 PM
 
5,581 posts, read 1,914,765 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Merjolie8 View Post
I'm pretty sure the OP is not referring to restaurants, but to fresh food markets so this wouldn't apply.

OP, I'm with you. I worked in Manhattan for more than 5 years, but that place is not for everybody. Cost of living is very expensive and the jobs don't pay enough to afford all that NYC has to offer. Take it as a lesson learned, check in you bucket list and find a new city that might be more up your alley.

I do agree that NYC is very romanticized in the movies, TV, etc as the "place" to be, but it's a crushing place for some.
There are fresh food markets everywhere, including Bed Stuy.
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Old 12-03-2018, 09:53 PM
 
Location: America's Expensive Toilet
1,422 posts, read 983,873 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hallouise View Post
Don't confuse NYC with all of the East coast. What you experienced is really only a NYC thing. Take Philly, for example. MUUUUUCH more laid back. You'd probably like West Philly. Plenty of people making art and music just for the hell of it, not to try to catch some agent's eye/ear. And it's fairly "tree'd" for a city area. But does still have a lack of proximity to large swaths of wood.

Anyway, just saying: all of the East coast is not New York. Only New York is New York.
Yes, thank you. The East Coast has plenty of "laid back" cities. People think the West Coast is chill, but San Francisco work culture is just as bad if not worse than NYC at times.

I will agree the crowding and noise gets to you, I've about had it, which is why I retreated to a suburb. I'm sure there are more low-key homebody types of people in NYC, but maybe you didn't become friends with them. I have several friends in NYC who have people over for dinner parties or to watch movies and just chill and talk. I think maybe you just haven't found your "tribe" yet, but it can take time. IMHO, every big city has this downfall.

My personality sounds a lot like you OP, and I expected to like Portland when I visited. Instead, I found the people standoffish, the city dirty, food was expensive, and overall it was way too sleepy for my tastes. Sounds like you need a middle ground between the two. FWIW, I felt similar to how you're feeling during one of my first semesters of college, very lonely. All it took was finding a few friends who clicked with me and it made all the difference in my happiness.
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Old 12-03-2018, 10:15 PM
 
2,870 posts, read 1,083,544 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Foamposite View Post
There are fresh food markets everywhere, including Bed Stuy.
When I lived in Washington Heights in the 1990's, there were supermarkets and green grocers. The veggies were kind of sad and not necessary cheap. Washington Heights supermarkets weren't the same quality of the Upper Westside's Fairway or Union Station's farmers' market. Of course, I took the subway to Fairway and Citarella. But, if you have a limited amount of time or money, it is hard to travel an half an hour for a good head of lettuce and a couple of carrots.

Many areas still do not have decent high quality green grocers or supermarkets. If the OP is used to a high quality of fresh and organic vegetables, they may not be available to him locally.

https://www.arcgis.com/apps/MapJourn...9588905eee6c11

https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/201...h-food-deserts

https://foodmapper.wordpress.com/200...lk-and-action/
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Old 12-03-2018, 10:20 PM
 
2,870 posts, read 1,083,544 times
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To answer your question: "Have any of you had disappointing experiences with a move like this?"

I loved NYC bc (before children), loved Austin, Texas and I hated suburban Boston. I returned to suburban NYC twelve years ago. It's too expensive during retirement so I am trying to figure out where to go next.
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Old 12-03-2018, 11:45 PM
 
5,581 posts, read 1,914,765 times
Reputation: 4277
Quote:
Originally Posted by YorktownGal View Post
When I lived in Washington Heights in the 1990's, there were supermarkets and green grocers. The veggies were kind of sad and not necessary cheap. Washington Heights supermarkets weren't the same quality of the Upper Westside's Fairway or Union Station's farmers' market. Of course, I took the subway to Fairway and Citarella. But, if you have a limited amount of time or money, it is hard to travel an half an hour for a good head of lettuce and a couple of carrots.

Many areas still do not have decent high quality green grocers or supermarkets. If the OP is used to a high quality of fresh and organic vegetables, they may not be available to him locally.

https://www.arcgis.com/apps/MapJourn...9588905eee6c11

https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/201...h-food-deserts

https://foodmapper.wordpress.com/200...lk-and-action/

The 1990s was a LONG time ago, NYC is a much different place now. I'm from Kensington, Brooklyn (which is not too terribly far from Gravesend) and while there aren't any Whole Foods type places that I know of, there are plenty of places to buy good produce (both chain supermarkets and smaller grocers).

The only true "food deserts" in NYC are not places that yuppie types typically move to, so it's really a non issue in the context of this thread.
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Old 12-03-2018, 11:49 PM
 
Location: Henderson, NV
6,745 posts, read 7,021,827 times
Reputation: 9077
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hallouise View Post
Don't confuse NYC with all of the East coast. What you experienced is really only a NYC thing. Take Philly, for example. MUUUUUCH more laid back. You'd probably like West Philly. Plenty of people making art and music just for the hell of it, not to try to catch some agent's eye/ear. And it's fairly "tree'd" for a city area. But does still have a lack of proximity to large swaths of wood.

Anyway, just saying: all of the East coast is not New York. Only New York is New York.
You’re kidding, right? I don’t think ANYONE would like Philadelphia unless they were born there. I’ve never seen such a sour city with more miserable people in it that that miserable garbage heap of a city. These people boo Santa Claus, they are the worst sports fans, walking around that city everyone snarls at you, and 4 days spent in that place was 4 days too long. Any time I think about how badly Portland sucks I just remember my visit to Philly and keep in mind there ARE worse places. You couldn’t pay me enough to live in that horrible place.

When it comes down to it, the Least Coast just doesn’t have much to offer anyone. The weather is overall godawful, standard for the East Coast of any continent actually, and the best weather is FL which doesn’t compare on any level to California weather, much more humid and full of hurricanes, but at least it’s a no income tax state which is nice. Outside of FL though what’s good about it?! It’s an overcrowded, strip-mined place that doesn’t really have much going for it that isn’t just better elsewhere. Then if you’re the average boring 9-to-5er you whine like a baby every time any sports event starts at 7 because waaaaah it’s already 10 on fake time and I’ll have to stay up past my lame bed time to watch this! Well don’t go to bed so early if you live on the worst coast, easy solution, nobody on the East should be sleeping before 1-2 am otherwise you’re missing out on life and what happens while you’re just sleeping away the day.

General Least Coast attitudes are also bizarre and they seem about 15 years behind on any popular culture trends. I remember I had an East Coast friend saying “wicked” all of the time and didn’t know the word “tight,” she is like “what’s tight?” It’s just laughable, we make popular culture here and it takes forever to get to the Least.
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Old 12-04-2018, 02:32 AM
 
Location: Reno, NV
502 posts, read 232,645 times
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NYC, San Francisco, and to a lesser extent, LA, are dirty overcrowded cities full of rude people and a ridiculously high cost of living. It seems like there are more homeless than working people, taxes are through the roof, and the cities cater to the wealthy and the extra-poor. From the working poor to upper middle class, no one cares about you and your life sucks.

Besides the wealthy, the happiest people are the young people. That's because they've recently arrived and haven't gotten their souls crushed yet. Once that happens, they move away and another cohort of young people arrive to go through the same punishment.

There are hundreds of small cities and thousands of small towns to choose from. Try that before you get too old and get stuck in one place because that's where your job and family are.

If you like Portland OR, that's great. I think it sucks because of the drugs and homeless and anarchists (though San Francisco has the same problems but times ten).
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