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Born and raised in Oceanside...great place to grow up when I did but I’m glad I have had a chance to experience elsewhere..spend more time in Manhattan when I return once or twice a year but always spend 1 or 2 days on LI...will always be home and where I will be buried.
For me, leaving home was always a priority. I went to college in a different Midwestern state from the one I grew up in, and when I didn't get a job and had to move back into my parents' house, a large part of the reason that I was depressed was that I thought I'd be stuck in Chicagoland forever, and would never truly experience a new city and not having my family and my high school friends "all up in my business", so to speak.
When the opportunity came along to go to a coding bootcamp in the DC area, I took it almost without thinking as soon as I heard that you had to relocate (apparently this requirement turns a lot of candidates away). Although in the time since then, I've struggled with certain things like making friends in my new locales, I have never for a second regretted taking the first chance I got to leave.
I regretted not leaving for undergrad. We had a top school right in town, I got in, got adequate aid, so I went. It was fine academically, but as an introverted kid I needed to go away, be forced to extend my circle, etc. It was a bad fit socially for me. I transferred my sophomore year. I have no further regrets. I was away for undergrad. Went to Chicago for professional school (loved it, met my husband). We moved around a bit and then settled in my hometown when our oldest was getting ready to start school. Raising kids with grandparents (assuming you have great helpful involved grandparents as my kids do) is amazing, but getting away and spreading your wings while you can is also a great thing to do. I'd encourage my kids to do that, move around, but likely settle down somewhere and let their kids (if that is their choice) have a stable life if possible. I'd love to be involved too (but that will up to them, I had great grandparents and parents to emulate, so I hope my kids keep us involved).
No matter where you’re from I think it’s important to leave, even if you come back immediately. First off how will you know won’t like something better? Not only that you gain a lot of knowledge into the people and places in this country you’ll never get from vacationing.
I grew up in San Diego after coming here at age 6 from Seattle, which I have countless memories of. I went away to school in Michigan and came back right after and haven’t left. I’ve come close to moving to Hawaii and even Prague, CZ once, but ultimately didn’t.
While there were many times I regretted leaving for school, but looking back now I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Besides the whole “college experience” and being close to family, I got to explore much of the Great Lakes region of the US and Canada. Not only that I took many road trips to Florida and the northeast as well. This is all something I never would of had a chance to do if I stayed in state like most of my friends.
I’m not saying you need to go out of state for college. My wife is from NYC and went as far away as she could to Buffalo then came out here for grad school. Some of my friends that stayed in Southern California their whole lives left for jobs or love but ultimatley came back. They all said they’re glad they did, if for nothing else it made them appreciate home more. Well one didn’t because he sold his house and couldn’t afford to buy in the same neighborhood when he came back, but that’s a different subject.
No matter where you’re from I think it’s important to leave, even if you come back immediately. First off how will you know won’t like something better? Not only that you gain a lot of knowledge into the people and places in this country you’ll never get from vacationing.
I grew up in San Diego after coming here at age 6 from Seattle, which I have countless memories of. I went away to school in Michigan and came back right after and haven’t left. I’ve come close to moving to Hawaii and even Prague, CZ once, but ultimately didn’t.
While there were many times I regretted leaving for school, but looking back now I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Besides the whole “college experience” and being close to family, I got to explore much of the Great Lakes region of the US and Canada. Not only that I took many road trips to Florida and the northeast as well. This is all something I never would of had a chance to do if I stayed in state like most of my friends.
I’m not saying you need to go out of state for college. My wife is from NYC and went as far away as she could to Buffalo then came out here for grad school. Some of my friends that stayed in Southern California their whole lives left for jobs or love but ultimatley came back. They all said they’re glad they did, if for nothing else it made them appreciate home more. Well one didn’t because he sold his house and couldn’t afford to buy in the same neighborhood when he came back, but that’s a different subject.
I've thought this for almost my entire adult life. Everyone I grew up with in LA says they'd never live anywhere else because LA is the best. But they were born and raised in LA and went to college either in LA or at least in SoCal. They've never lived anywhere else. It's actually quite ignorant to just assume that LA is the best place to live in the country or the world when you've literally never experienced anything else.
You can say "I never want to leave LA because I hate winter" or "I love the beach way too much to live anywhere else" or "All my family is here." Those are subjective and opinionated reasons. It is not a fact that LA is the best place ever. But so many people born and raised in LA believe it is the only place anyone on Earth would ever want to call home.
Either way, lots of those people end up just living at home with mommy and daddy anyway.
Quote:
Originally Posted by bjimmy24
I think people overvalue "new experiences" and "travel" and stuff like that, while very much undervaluing friends, family, etc.
Picking up and moving to where you know nobody can be scary, but if you have a few friends somewhere else, I think everyone should move and experience it. You'll learn something new about life and the world. You'll get exposed to things you might never have been exposed to before. There is nothing bad about meeting more people and expanding your knowledge of the world and society.
FWIW, I've at least noticed that people from the Northeast are not as opposed to leaving their region/city for college. They at least get some experience away from home during college. Lots of people from the Northeast go to school in NC or FL. I know some that went to Atlanta and Nashville. Even if you're from NYC/Philly/Boston, going to Upstate NY is a different experience and for NYC/Boston, going to Penn State is a different experience. People don't have to move entirely across a country to try something new. But living and dying in the city/metro you were born in should not be normal.
I know some people that went to college in San Diego or Arizona. That's still something different. Some loved it some hated it. But going to a college in LA or one of its suburbs, keeping your same friends from your hometown and elementary through high school, and never branching out does not create a well-rounded person with good life experiences IMO.
As for the thread, I thought I would stay in LA as a kid. I loved my friends and there is so much to do. But after leaving LA for college, I realized LA is not somewhere I want to stay my entire life. I never moved back and I couldn't be happier with my choice.
Picking up and moving to where you know nobody can be scary, but if you have a few friends somewhere else, I think everyone should move and experience it. You'll learn something new about life and the world. You'll get exposed to things you might never have been exposed to before. There is nothing bad about meeting more people and expanding your knowledge of the world and society.
But what I would say is that the value of a true home, rooted in family for generations, with solid stable people, well that cannot be duplicated. It is of great value. I am not convinced that one learns much of anything of the larger world by living in variously increasingly homogenous major coastal cities.
But what I would say is that the value of a true home, rooted in family for generations, with solid stable people, well that cannot be duplicated. It is of great value. I am not convinced that one learns much of anything of the larger world by living in variously increasingly homogenous major coastal cities.
I don't think you have to live somewhere forever to try something new. And I also don't think you have to go super far away. But you can never truly know you love a place until you've tried something new out. I.e. Plenty of people move to/from DC, Philly, NYC and Boston. Arguably, they all have more similarities than differences. But they each have their own feel. How can someone born and raised in Boston know that Boston is the best place for them to live and die if they haven't tried something new out? Check out NYC for a bit. It's close enough for weekend train rides home. If you hate it and miss family, move home. You tried it out at least. How can someone from NYC know they should live in NYC till the day they die and struggle affording a home if they are unaware of the lifestyle in other cities. Try out Philly since they're similar, but different enough. Maybe someone from NYC will love the similarities there and settle down there, or miss the bigger city and move home. But at least they know, and were only an hour train ride away from their family.
Same in CA. LA and SD are similar, but they have enough differences. People from LA might actually enjoy SD if they stay in LA for the weather, beaches, and Mexican food. Check out SD for some time since it's only a 3 hour drive/train ride home to LA if they hate it. I know plenty of people who have tried out SD. The ones who went for the lower COL in a more laidback city with equal weather and Mexican food but better beaches love it there and didn't move home. Those that missed some qualities of LA and/or their family moved home. But they did something different. Still, there are countless people I know from LA that have never even tried a different region of LA, yet still are fully convinced their part of LA is better than anything else in the country. How do they know?
Tl;dr. At least go somewhere close to home. No two metros are the same. You'll still be close to home and can go home easily if you hate it.
Born and raised in Atlanta GA (15 mins south of downtown). Was an average student with no plans of college. I joined the Army when I was 19 (2007) because I wanted to make something of myself and get away from my hometown. 5 years in the Army and I spend time in Fort Drum NY (Watertown), Iraq, Korea, and Fort Stewart GA (Savannah). I met my wife who was born and raised near Fort Drum NY. Got married and had kids so we decided to stay in New York to be closer to her family while the kids were young (my family is all over the place). I decided to go to college (GI Bill). I got my A.S degree at a small community college.
I knew I wanted to go for my B.S degree and we didn't want to stay in a small town (lack of opportunities). So this is where we were faced with a HUGE decision. We had 3 options; stay put (Watertown), stay in NY but move to a bigger city (Buffalo, Rochester, Syracuse), or move out of state. We ended up moving 2 1/2 hours away to Rochester NY where I graduated, got jobs, bought a house, and still live. When looking back on that decision I wish we would have took the risk and moved out of state. We were renting, not locked into jobs, kids hadn't started school yet, and I was getting a decent monthly check from the GI Bill/VA. Sure we could still move but we both have good jobs, like the town we live in, and the kids like their school/friends. If I could do it over I think I would have moved to Florida. But who knows, we could have moved and hated it and moved back to NY. However, when the kids are older (high school/College) and the opportunity presents itself we still might make the move.
But what I would say is that the value of a true home, rooted in family for generations, with solid stable people, well that cannot be duplicated. It is of great value. I am not convinced that one learns much of anything of the larger world by living in variously increasingly homogenous major coastal cities.
That certainly would be ideal. I think what's clear, however, is that our society (US) is setup to not only allow migration but actively encourage it, through: going away to college, economic shifts and industry migration, cultural attitudes around "newness", "hotness", "progress" and "what's up and coming", rising housing costs and gentrification, etc. I (and many others) were priced out of my hometown.
Also, in many parts, as crazy as it sounds, young adults who DON'T move away are seen as backwards and deficient in some ways.
To OP's question, yes and no. I have a lot of nostalgic memories about my hometown(s). The people and places growing up are strong memories in my mind. They still feel like "home". But there are reasons I left and I'm reminded of them every time I visit. So I do day-dream about my "hometowns" but I don't regret moving away.
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