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Old 05-15-2014, 07:28 AM
 
Location: Florida
11,669 posts, read 16,759,603 times
Reputation: 8211

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So I'm 29 years old, single and gay and do not like living in big cities. I lived in NYC for two years and found it to be draining. Even mid-sized cities like Denver or Tampa are pushing it, for me. I just don't find crowding and congestion to be an appealing way to live. I prefer smaller metros (less than 2 million) Whenever I tell my friends that, they think I'm weird, like I'm a loser or something for not wanting to live in a big special city. Most of them generally aspire to urban life and when they hear someone who isn't interested in it, they're reaction is this:

Has anyone else been looked down upon or made fun of for not liking urban living, for whatever reason? Why do people who prefer urban living sometimes look down upon those who prefer to live in the country or a smaller area? I just don't get it.
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Old 05-15-2014, 07:55 AM
 
62 posts, read 80,605 times
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Have these friends ever lived anywhere other than large cities or their metro areas? Maybe they have preconceived ideas about what places other than big cities are like.

I've had the experience of living in a variety of different settings, one being in the New York metro. I heard a lot of negative opinions, many of which were not based on reality, about parts of the country they'd never been to. The people who talked like this seemed to live with the idea that the center of the world is NYC and that everything else revolves around it. While I recognize the importance of New York and other large cities, I also understand the unique experiences people can enjoy while living in smaller cities, towns, and rural areas.

If people seem to be looking down on you for not liking urban living, try not to take it personally. Understand that they have different life experiences and a different world view than you. Perhaps by telling them a little bit more about the lifestyle that can be enjoyed in these other places, they can broaden their perspective and develop a greater appreciation of your perspective.
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Old 05-15-2014, 08:43 AM
 
Location: Florida
11,669 posts, read 16,759,603 times
Reputation: 8211
Quote:
Originally Posted by tanner View Post
Have these friends ever lived anywhere other than large cities or their metro areas? Maybe they have preconceived ideas about what places other than big cities are like.

I've had the experience of living in a variety of different settings, one being in the New York metro. I heard a lot of negative opinions, many of which were not based on reality, about parts of the country they'd never been to. The people who talked like this seemed to live with the idea that the center of the world is NYC and that everything else revolves around it. While I recognize the importance of New York and other large cities, I also understand the unique experiences people can enjoy while living in smaller cities, towns, and rural areas.

If people seem to be looking down on you for not liking urban living, try not to take it personally. Understand that they have different life experiences and a different world view than you. Perhaps by telling them a little bit more about the lifestyle that can be enjoyed in these other places, they can broaden their perspective and develop a greater appreciation of your perspective.
No, most of them are people who are currently living in less populated areas and wanting to move to a bigger city. And having lived in NYC myself and experienced big city life already, I tell them that I've "been there done that," and have no interest in living that way ever again. That's when they get butt hurt and start the damage control.
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Old 05-15-2014, 09:28 AM
 
Location: Tennessee
32,128 posts, read 26,517,507 times
Reputation: 42112
NYC is the largest metro in the country and one of the world's largest. I would still consider Tampa a big city.
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Old 05-15-2014, 09:29 AM
 
Location: Englewood, Near Eastside Indy
8,742 posts, read 16,079,769 times
Reputation: 6875
Some of the smartest hippest people I know live in small towns. Who cares if someone chooses not to live in a place like NYC or Tampa? I live in Indianapolis, so obviously impressing people by living in a magic land is not important to me.
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Old 05-15-2014, 09:36 AM
 
Location: Florida
11,669 posts, read 16,759,603 times
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Well, it seems like many of my gay friends think they are elevating their life to a whole new level and trying to make me jealous, by moving to a big city. Like they're super special or something.
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Old 05-15-2014, 09:57 AM
 
24,426 posts, read 38,408,935 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nep321 View Post
Well, it seems like many of my gay friends think they are elevating their life to a whole new level and trying to make me jealous, by moving to a big city. Like they're super special or something.
It would appear these people aren't really "friends" if that's the intent and would spend time worrying about what really matters, your own personal happiness....first. You'll find everything else will fall into place once that's achieved.
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Old 05-15-2014, 09:59 AM
 
Location: A Yankee in northeast TN
14,937 posts, read 18,726,201 times
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A lot of people have some weird misconception that where they choose to live is a direct reflection of their own importance. They aspire to live in the coolest, hippest place they can because somehow they think that automatically elevates their own status. So when you rain on their parade and tell them you aren't impressed with big city living they take that as a personal insult.
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Old 05-15-2014, 10:28 AM
 
78,177 posts, read 106,118,927 times
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Also, they may not realize that you can get some form of urban living even in smaller communities. So, one or a few places aren't the be all, end all in that regard. It may be different, but it is still available.
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Old 05-15-2014, 11:11 AM
 
Location: Østenfor sol og vestenfor måne
17,932 posts, read 22,371,943 times
Reputation: 38832
Not liking big cities is fine as long as you don't express your dislike in terms of insult. Much like city people should not insult small towns or rural areas.

To each their own.
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