The South Will Rise Again (wealthy, kitchen, rating)

[KathrynAragon]

Originally Posted by Nanny Goat

Good manners and politeness are not fake. Just seems that way to people who take other people hostage by their brand of "honesty," and usually a code word for being rude and tactless. And, obnoxious.

As my mother - a southern lady - always says to me, "Honesty at the expense of others is simply selfishness." And I agree. "I'm just being HONEST!" is the shrill cry of the socially inept.

[jbcmh81]

[quote]

Originally Posted by BajanYankee

Which firms? And if they do, they would have to use
Census data. I can't think of any organization outside of the federal
government that has the resources to do that

.

So then use the census. I don't have the link. Take that however you wish. It's my fault for repeating something I no longer have the link for, but I didn't make it up.

That doesn't support the claim that 8 out of 10 Ohio natives who move to Florida
return to Ohio. It only shows (if you provide the source) that domestic
migration from Ohio to Florida is down 71%. I don't see how the former follows
from the latter.

As for this claim, here's the link: Migration/Geographic Mobility - State-to-State Migration Flows - People and Households - U.S. Census Bureau
It's raw data, so you'll have to do your own math. I've already done it, but I don't think you trust me anyway. It's 2005-2013.

[jbcmh81]

Originally Posted by KathrynAragon

As my mother - a southern lady - always says to me, "Honesty at the expense of others is simply selfishness." And I agree. "I'm just being HONEST!" is the shrill cry of the socially inept.

What is with this view that you can only be honest in some mean, selfish way?

[Mutiny77]

Originally Posted by jbcmh81

So you agree then, that Southerners are no more nice or perfect than people are anywhere else?

I believe there's a general politeness that defines Southern culture, but that doesn't make us any better than other people. It's others such as yourself that take issue with this for whatever reason.

[KathrynAragon]

Originally Posted by jbcmh81

What is with this view that you can only be honest in some mean, selfish way?

I didn't say that.

Just because we think something, doesn't mean we have to say it. Especially in the case of unsolicited advice. Or just saying it to vent, to make ourselves feel better. Some things are best kept to ourselves.

Say that your friend is wearing a shirt you don't like. If he ASKS you whether or not you like it you can find a tactful way to tell the truth (surely you can, please tell me you can), but if he doesn't ask you, what's the point in telling him you don't like his shirt? Usually there's not much point in it - unless he's going to an interview or on a first date and has time to change, and you've really got his best interests at heart. But if you just want to "express yourself" by saying, "Dude, I hate that shirt," then that's "honesty at another person's expense," and usually not in their best interest - it's just to vent. In other words, selfish motivation. That's the meaning behind the saying, "Honesty at another person's expense is selfishness."

[Bass&Catfish2008]

Originally Posted by KathrynAragon

I didn't say that.

Just because we think something, doesn't mean we have to say it. Especially in the case of unsolicited advice. Or just saying it to vent, to make ourselves feel better. Some things are best kept to ourselves.

Say that your friend is wearing a shirt you don't like. If he ASKS you whether or not you like it you can find a tactful way to tell the truth (surely you can, please tell me you can), but if he doesn't ask you, what's the point in telling him you don't like his shirt? Usually there's not much point in it - unless he's going to an interview or on a first date and has time to change, and you've really got his best interests at heart. But if you just want to "express yourself" by saying, "Dude, I hate that shirt," then that's "honesty at another person's expense," and usually not in their best interest - it's just to vent. In other words, selfish motivation. That's the meaning behind the saying, "Honesty at another person's expense is selfishness."

Your mama's point is well taken, Kathryn.

Those Southern ladies have a way of turnin' phrases which effectively gets their point across. I know my own elderly mama is full of 'em.

[jbcmh81]

Originally Posted by Mutiny77

I believe there's a general politeness that defines Southern culture, but that doesn't make us any better than other people. It's others such as yourself that take issue with this for whatever reason.

I take issue with it because I don't find it to be true, and I think it intentionally denigrates millions of people you've never met while simultaneously assuming a positive about additional millions you've never met. People have taken issue when I've made claims/assumptions about Southern people, but those same ones seem to have no issue doing the same about those in the North. I was attempting to prove a point, and it seems to have went over everyone's head.

[jbcmh81]

Originally Posted by KathrynAragon

I didn't say that.

Just because we think something, doesn't mean we have to say it. Especially in the case of unsolicited advice. Or just saying it to vent, to make ourselves feel better. Some things are best kept to ourselves.

Say that your friend is wearing a shirt you don't like. If he ASKS you whether or not you like it you can find a tactful way to tell the truth (surely you can, please tell me you can), but if he doesn't ask you, what's the point in telling him you don't like his shirt? Usually there's not much point in it - unless he's going to an interview or on a first date and has time to change, and you've really got his best interests at heart. But if you just want to "express yourself" by saying, "Dude, I hate that shirt," then that's "honesty at another person's expense," and usually not in their best interest - it's just to vent. In other words, selfish motivation. That's the meaning behind the saying, "Honesty at another person's expense is selfishness."

And this is the problem... some of you believe people in the North will go out of their way to be *ssholes, while those in the South will bend over backwards never to say anything negative. That's just nonsense. People are the same everywhere, and very few people exclusively fit into either category, but both types exist in both places. Treat people well and that's typically what you'll get back, no matter where you are.

[KathrynAragon]

Originally Posted by Bass&Catfish2008

Your mama's point is well taken, Kathryn.

Those Southern ladies have a way of turnin' phrases which effectively gets their point across. I know my own elderly mama is full of 'em.

Thank you! And bless your heart! (For those who think that phrase is always meant in a snarky way, please note that in this context it means nothing but good! It's a very versatile phrase.)

[KathrynAragon]

Originally Posted by jbcmh81

And this is the problem... some of you believe people in the North will go out of their way to be *ssholes, while those in the South will bend over backwards never to say anything negative. That's just nonsense. People are the same everywhere, and very few people exclusively fit into either category, but both types exist in both places. Treat people well and that's typically what you'll get back, no matter where you are.

You're not preaching to the right person. I haven't made any generalizations or even negative comments about people from the north (other than not personally caring for some NE accents).

In fact, I don't recall ANYONE saying that "people in the North will go out of their way to be *ssholes, while those in the South will bend over backwards never to say anything negative." So I really don't understand your climb up on that high horse.

Bless your heart. Come on down from there.