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Men should not assume that every woman who dresses revealingly is looking for a hookup.
Women should realize that some women do dress revealingly when looking for a hookup.
It stands to reason that men looking for a hookup may think their chances are better if hitting on women who dress revealingly, especially if they have had previous success with women dressed in such a manner.
It also stands to reason that men should back off if a woman makes it clear she's not looking for a hookup, no matter how she is dressed.
No means no. If a woman wants to play "No means maybe, maybe means yes" games, she should lose (by having her "no" taken at face value), because she makes it harder for women who say no and mean it.
I've never met a woman in my life who appreciated crude comments yelled from a passing vehicle or on the street.
Both men and women need to recognize that tone and non-verbal cues can make the words "Nice dress" a genuine friendly compliment, a creepy come-on or anything in-between. Pay attention to more than just words.
Sexuality is but a sliver of a person's whole being. Work on appreciating the whole package, whether you're male or female.
Don't take anything in this to exclude same sex relationships, we all need to respect each other.
Let's all live in the real world, where our behavior to each other may not be perfect, but don't assume the most nefarious motive if someone doesn't perform to your ideal of respectful male-female interaction. People say and do dumb things without any ill intent sometimes, don't assume the worst.
In the real world, there will be people who don't know better and/or refuse to learn. That means there will be men who assume women who dress a certain way are always looking for sexual attention. If you dress in that way, know you are taking the risk your dress will be misinterpreted. It doesn't mean you have to accept the unwanted attention, but it does mean you need to be realistic about how some men will treat you. It doesn't mean their behavior isn't disrespectful, but there will be some men who feel you don't respect yourself, so it is okay to do the same. It doesn't make them right, but it can happen, and it's foolish to believe we'll ever live in a utopia where assumptions are not made based on dress or appearance.
Men should not assume that every woman who dresses revealingly is looking for a hookup.
Women should realize that some women do dress revealingly when looking for a hookup.
It stands to reason that men looking for a hookup may think their chances are better if hitting on women who dress revealingly, especially if they have had previous success with women dressed in such a manner.
It also stands to reason that men should back off if a woman makes it clear she's not looking for a hookup, no matter how she is dressed.
No means no. If a woman wants to play "No means maybe, maybe means yes" games, she should lose (by having her "no" taken at face value), because she makes it harder for women who say no and mean it.
I've never met a woman in my life who appreciated crude comments yelled from a passing vehicle or on the street.
Both men and women need to recognize that tone and non-verbal cues can make the words "Nice dress" a genuine friendly compliment, a creepy come-on or anything in-between. Pay attention to more than just words.
Sexuality is but a sliver of a person's whole being. Work on appreciating the whole package, whether you're male or female.
Don't take anything in this to exclude same sex relationships, we all need to respect each other.
Let's all live in the real world, where our behavior to each other may not be perfect, but don't assume the most nefarious motive if someone doesn't perform to your ideal of respectful male-female interaction. People say and do dumb things without any ill intent sometimes, don't assume the worst.
In the real world, there will be people who don't know better and/or refuse to learn. That means there will be men who assume women who dress a certain way are always looking for sexual attention. If you dress in that way, know you are taking the risk your dress will be misinterpreted. It doesn't mean you have to accept the unwanted attention, but it does mean you need to be realistic about how some men will treat you. It doesn't mean their behavior isn't disrespectful, but there will be some men who feel you don't respect yourself, so it is okay to do the same. It doesn't make them right, but it can happen, and it's foolish to believe we'll ever live in a utopia where assumptions are not made based on dress or appearance.
I agree with most of what you say, but we men occupy this planet as well. Life is not all about how we interpret or misinterpret women, and that is certainly true, believe it or not, for women. I dress according to how I want to be perceived. I doubt that would be untrue for a mature woman as well.
And with that, I will assign myself the responsibility for such. Men are generally visible by nature. The feminine form is a beautifully desirable pleasure to us. That is not wrong nor perverted. It is actually biological. When more of it is shared than we might expect, we may be startled or react with excitement. It can also be distracting for some men. This doesn't make women wrong but hopefully as you advise, aware.
I don't know. Should men gouge their eyes out so they aren't distracted by the appearance of women? Or maybe just cut their tongues out so they don't verbally harass anyone. Those would take care of that pesky unwanted attention thing.
So would simply keeping your drooling to yourself, or making a thoughtful compliment. "That's a beautiful dress! It's a great color on you."
If extreme measures like cutting out your tongue are needed, you have a serious problem. Think before you blurt.
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 04-02-2015 at 12:55 PM..
It's the idea that women should dress in a specific way to avoid other people's poor behavior that is irritating. I've been to topless beaches in Europe, and no one is harassing those women. How hard is it for men to treat women that are actually clothed with respect?
This is what I don't understand. People need to own their own poor behavior, and do something about it. Do men truly not know what's inappropriate? Or do they not care? Or do they actually believe that's what women seek?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Meyerland;
Yes, women who wear revealing clothes will probably be approached more. Also very attractive women will be approached more. However, it is not a blanket invitation for an overtly sexualized approach from every Tom, Dick, or Harry.
Very attractive women will get approached no matter what they're wearing.
Quote:
Originally Posted by veezybell;
Don't get me wrong; I don't condone men saying making totally inappropriate sexual comments. But if a woman is wearing form-fitting clothes, shouldn't she expect guys trying to get her attention? Is "hey baby" and "what's up girl" really that bad? I assume the solution to avoiding unwanted attention is to wear more conservative clothing, am I wrong?
"Hey, baby" is the best you can do? Who are you to call a complete stranger "baby"? She isn't your baby. She's not your girlfriend. She's a complete stranger. It's way overly familiar, and as such, has a sexual overtone. Think about it. "What's up, girl" isn't so bad. It almost sounds like a regular conversation opener. It might be ok between teenagers and people in their 20's. Are you following me, so far?
If you actually want to start a conversation with the woman, as opposed to just letting off some steam ("Lookin good, today!"), approach it like you're starting a real conversation. Think of something to talk about. "Isn't this spring weather great? It feels good to be alive!" Or, "That's an interesting pin/purse, jacket you're wearing. It looks like it's from someplace exotic. Do you travel?" I'm guessing openers like this are too formal for your age and neighborhood, veez. But this is how it's done for a lot of people much over 20. These actually work. Anyway, you get the idea. You don't want to say anything that hints at the fact that you've been checking out her body. "Isn't this spring weather great? You look like you're ready for spring." Seems innocuous to you, but it has overtones that you've been ogling her. It's borderline, pushing your luck. Do you kind of get it, now?
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 04-02-2015 at 12:54 PM..
I do not think it is about a woman asking for it by wearing provocative clothing. I think the man likes what he sees and is hoping to get her attention by talking to her and maybe he is thinking that the provocative clothing shows she is focused on her sexuality or is interested in attracting a man and therefore he hopes to have a chance with her for that reason. Just like a woman in a business suit is assumed to be focused on her job and career or a woman in a jogging suit is focused on exercising.
This is a good point. You can't assume that just because someone is wearing somewhat revealing clothing (barring extreme examples, like the one the OP gave about a woman wearing transparent leggings, or something) that they're focussed on their sexuality. Depending on what's in style, women may be thinking that they're just being stylish. One year, all the fashion magazines may be showing blouses or dresses that are more low-cut than usual. A trend has been declared by the fashion industry. Some women may buy a piece like that to "update" their wardrobe. It's not a signal for men to proposition them. The women may think they're just keeping up with the trends. The same with short skirts. You can't assume you know what other people are thinking when they make certain clothing choices.
And some women are interested in attracting a man. Even the women in stylish business suits may be. But that doesn't mean they're interested in attracting sexual overtures.
Dress conservatively if you don't want attention.
Dress provocatively if you do.
I don't like burkas.
I don't like flashers.
On Miami Beach, I want to see scantily dressed people. At work, please don't strut your big cleavage cuz them I won't be able to concentrate on my job.
If you walk around w ur ass hanging out, expect comments.
If you dress down, expect to not hear comments.
That's an excellent point. But if a woman is wearing well-tailored clothes, even if dressed conservatively, and she has nice curves, would you still be distracted? Just wondering.
But to comment on the bolded, in a university office where I was working, they hired a student. He would wear t-shirts to the office, and there would be chest hair peeking over the top. THAT was distracting! Suddenly, I gained a real appreciation for the concept of a collared shirt and tie. Think about it--the purpose of the tie suddenly because obvious: it's to cinch up that collar so nothing can escape, lol! Nary a stray hair visible. Women need to dress conservatively for the office. Suit jackets were created to hide the bust, so it won't be distracting. A little consideration for others in the office environment can go a long way.
This is what I don't understand. People need to own their own poor behavior, and do something about it. Do men truly not know what's inappropriate? Or do they not care? Or do they actually believe that's what women seek?
Very attractive women will get approached no matter what they're wearing.
"Hey, baby" is the best you can do? Who are you to call a complete stranger "baby"? She isn't your baby. She's not your girlfriend. She's a complete stranger. It's way overly familiar, and as such, has a sexual overtone. Think about it. "What's up, girl" isn't so bad. It almost sounds like a regular conversation opener. It might be ok between teenagers and people in their 20's. Are you following me, so far?
If you actually want to start a conversation with the woman, as opposed to just letting off some steam ("Lookin good, today!"), approach it like you're starting a real conversation. Think of something to talk about. "Isn't this spring weather great? It feels good to be alive!" Or, "That's an interesting pin/purse, jacket you're wearing. It looks like it's from someplace exotic. Do you travel?" I'm guessing openers like this are too formal for your age and neighborhood, veez. But this is how it's done for a lot of people much over 20. These actually work. Anyway, you get the idea. You don't want to say anything that hints at the fact that you've been checking out her body. "Isn't this spring weather great? You look like you're ready for spring." Seems innocuous to you, but it has overtones that you've been ogling her. It's borderline, pushing your luck. Do you kind of get it, now?
Oh I understand Ruth, and I personally don't say stuff like "hey baby" or "what's up girl". However, I can't expect all men to conduct themselves the same way I do. I'm not sure how old you assume I am or what neighborhood you think I'm from, but that's beside the point because middle-aged men and older do this as well, and in any kind of environment. What I'm trying to get at is since there's always going to be jackasses around, are there measures that women can take in order to minimize unwanted attention? I'm not a spokesperson for those men nor can I control their behavior. I'm just trying to figure out why women dress provocatively and then get upset when their clothing more than likely invokes responses from these types. I'm sure some wear certain things because they are fashionable, comfortable, etc but I assume women are subconsciously aware that their clothing choices may signal something they aren't necessarily after.
A woman dresses up to feel pretty, not to elicit slang comments from thugs, dumbasses, bubas, and yahoos.
How are you going to stop thugs and jerks from making those remarks? They can do as they please and who is gonna stop them? If you don't get their attention you probably wouldn't get those comments. It's your choice.
Same thing as walking around in HS with a "Kick me" sticker.
I do not think it is about a woman asking for it by wearing provocative clothing. I think the man likes what he sees and is hoping to get her attention by talking to her and maybe he is thinking that the provocative clothing shows she is focused on her sexuality or is interested in attracting a man and therefore he hopes to have a chance with her for that reason. Just like a woman in a business suit is assumed to be focused on her job and career or a woman in a jogging suit is focused on exercising.
Haven't you ever heard the phrase " dress for success" ? Dress like you are professional at work and be taken more seriously? It works.
What you wear to a party is not what you wear to the office and is not what you wear to the beach . Clothing says a lot about what you are focused on and your personality.
I totally agree. Places of employment should have dress codes as to what is appropriate for work and some places do.
I worked with a girl that came to work dressed like she was going to a fancy night club. Her skirts were so short that she needed to "powder two more cheeks" if ya know what I mean. Her "mammaries" were about to pop out of her shirts. She used to wear these see through white dress shorts with a low cut shirt tucked in and you could see her thong through the shorts leaving no imagination to the rear end. lol She got the attention she sought, but it wasn't good with the professional women in the office.
The asst. boss finally told her about the shorts, but they continued to allow her to dress like she was going on an intimate date with her lover. Like ^^^ says"Dress for success" The office isn't a place for
auditions for Victoria's Secret models. There's a time and place for everything.
Last edited by Oldhag1; 04-02-2015 at 07:29 PM..
Reason: Removed icon
I know someone is going to jump down my throat about this, but I don't get it. I'm all about people having the choice to wear whatever they want, but I don't understand the logic behind the anger when women are "verbally harassed".
Don't get me wrong; I don't condone men saying making totally inappropriate sexual comments. But if a woman is wearing form-fitting clothes, shouldn't she expect guys trying to get her attention? Is "hey baby" and "what's up girl" really that bad? I assume the solution to avoiding unwanted attention is to wear more conservative clothing, am I wrong?
NO! That type ofbehavior is classless. Now, there isnothing the matter with admiring an attractive woman, but approach it withclass. Good morning, Miss. How are you doing today, Ma'am? Hello, how are you? Are much better than hey baby! Most women find that crude. I have had such screamed at me and I hardlydress like a prostitute, though my figure cannot be denied unless I want todress in a tent, which I don't.
So no. More conservative clothing is not the answer. Men not being pigs and controlling themselves is the answer.
Last edited by Oldhag1; 04-02-2015 at 07:30 PM..
Reason: Fixed formatting
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