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I'm new to this thread and would like to make this comment.
I don't drink and have no issues with those that do but I was at a dinner party last week and the host- an ex Naval high up- and his wife treated me as though I was strange.
Nothing like being intoxicated and making a fool of yourself at the Federal Governments expense, I'm totally impressed
Quote:
Originally Posted by ScranBarre
Perhaps I'm just overly mature for my age, but as a 22-year-old would someone please explain to me the "allure" of getting intoxicated a few nights a week with a group of people, annoying others in your vicinity, throwing up, and then waking up the next morning with a hangover? Can someone also please explain to me why those of us who try NOT to drink are immediately ostracized for our decision, nagged to death in order to change our mind, OR are excluded from future social gatherings because we're "no fun?"
I suppose I should also supplement this with some background information. I am an auditor for the Federal government who has just returned from two weeks of mandatory training in Memphis, Tennessee. Besides the time dedicated to our classwork and commutes between campus and our hotel (roughly 7:15 AM-4:45 PM Monday-Friday) we were otherwise left to our own devices to mingle with over three dozen other classmates. Despite my somewhat confrontational aura exhibited here on City-Data I usually have no problem striking up random conversations with people, getting people to laugh, and generally just try to be as outgoing as I can to expand my social network. I even had a small circle of "friends-to-be" waiting to welcome me to my new hometown in Northern Virginia because I had tracked down people with similar interests ahead of time on social networking sites on the Internet.
Anyhow, much of the free time for most of the other auditors my age consisted of booze, booze, and more booze. For people who whine about being on a "tight budget," I was actually very dismayed by how much money they were tossing around left and right going out to eat every other night and drinking nearly every night. Since we are given a daily per diem for meals I instead decided to try to be as frugal as possible most of the time, eating sparingly, and then using the remainder of my per diem balance to help pay household bills my base salary barely covers. However, I did go out on several occasions, only to feel very much like an "outcast" as much of the conversations inevitably revolved around who did what more foolishly when they were drunk. As the days wore on and people formed closer bonds as "drinking buddies" I continued to become more depressed, feeling like a total "outsider."
Finally I decided to accompany some of them one night to do some stupid drinking games back in one of their hotel rooms. Before I had finished my second drink my stomach was feeling very sour, so I went over to get some water from the faucet and was chastised for "cheating." I explained that I just wanted to let my stomach calm down a bit, but then I just wound up leaving in the end after I was told I could no longer play because I wasn't going to get drunk.
The reality finally sunk in today at the Memphis airport when I was standing with my arms folded at the sidelines as many of my peers were tearfully hugging one another, high-fiving, chest-bumping, joking around, etc. as they said their good-byes as barely one person even acknowledged me. The problem is that this isn't a singular occurrence. This happens OFTEN to me on various occasions in which I become very tense because I'm generally NOT comfortable around people who derive pleasure from getting drunk but also fear becoming a social reject myself for NOT caving into peer pressure like the rest of the sorry lot who think they are being "funny" or "cool" when they are being obnoxiously loud in public and offending others nearby.
Is there really a "solution" here, or am I just a misfit because I don't think it's "like totally awesome" to "get wasted" all the time?
In MY circle of friends, we always have our eye out for that one person who is willing to be the designated driver.
exactly, I have never been a part of a group that wouldnt love a constant DD.
Honestly folks this is not a normal thing, it is not a requirement to fit into society, when and if someone does make you feel like an outsider, walk away and forget the lot of them. No one should feel pressured to drink its your body and you can do with it what you want. The same goes the other way around, no one has the right to make someone not drink if that is their choice. If it si ruining their life all you can do is tell them you are worried and then its up to them, but just because you or someone you know has/had a problem with drinking does not make all drinkers bad.
I have been thnking about the disturbance that I caused here, by my off-handed mentioning of the fact that it may have been my faith that caused some of the posters, on the GW (Garden Web) forum that I post on, to object to my not participating in their fondness of daily alcoholic drinks. So I want to attempt to explain....I avoid doing anything that may offend my brethren, and there are some who are offended by any alcoholic drinking. Naturally, some people can find all sorts of things to be offended by, but drinking is something that I find very easy to avoid doing.
Personally, I do not object to a glass of wine with a meal, or even a beer. They may even be healthful...but I will avoid the practice, for the reason that I stated. I can very easily find some other type of drink if I am thirsty, and that is my primary reason to drink anything.
I have enough problem with my medications altering my mind, without adding alcohol to it ! I take pain meds because I need them...I do not need alcoholic drinks.
If you are wondering why I am bothering explaining this, it is because I do not like anyone getting the wrong opinion of me, even if no one here knows me.
I have been thnking about the disturbance that I caused here, by my off-handed mentioning of the fact that it may have been my faith that caused some of the posters, on the GW (Garden Web) forum that I post on, to object to my not participating in their fondness of daily alcoholic drinks. So I want to attempt to explain....I avoid doing anything that may offend my brethren, and there are some who are offended by any alcoholic drinking. Naturally, some people can find all sorts of things to be offended by, but drinking is something that I find very easy to avoid doing.
Personally, I do not object to a glass of wine with a meal, or even a beer. They may even be healthful...but I will avoid the practice, for the reason that I stated. I can very easily find some other type of drink if I am thirsty, and that is my primary reason to drink anything.
I have enough problem with my medications altering my mind, without adding alcohol to it ! I take pain meds because I need them...I do not need alcoholic drinks.
If you are wondering why I am bothering explaining this, it is because I do not like anyone getting the wrong opinion of me, even if no one here knows me.
I think people who get offended because another person DOESN'T drink....are just as small as the people who get offended because a person DOES drink.
I think you are a great person regardless of if you choose to drink alcohol or you don't.
I have been thnking about the disturbance that I caused here, by my off-handed mentioning of the fact that it may have been my faith that caused some of the posters, on the GW (Garden Web) forum that I post on, to object to my not participating in their fondness of daily alcoholic drinks. So I want to attempt to explain....I avoid doing anything that may offend my brethren, and there are some who are offended by any alcoholic drinking. Naturally, some people can find all sorts of things to be offended by, but drinking is something that I find very easy to avoid doing.
Personally, I do not object to a glass of wine with a meal, or even a beer. They may even be healthful...but I will avoid the practice, for the reason that I stated. I can very easily find some other type of drink if I am thirsty, and that is my primary reason to drink anything.
I have enough problem with my medications altering my mind, without adding alcohol to it ! I take pain meds because I need them...I do not need alcoholic drinks.
If you are wondering why I am bothering explaining this, it is because I do not like anyone getting the wrong opinion of me, even if no one here knows me.
I hope we did not make you feel alienated in any way. What some of use are just trying to explain is that the choice to drink or not is in your hands and your hands alone. One should not simply cast off all drinking and drinkers because someone else or their religion says to. It is a choice you should make with your own mind and free will. If your brethren are against drinking and you are not then you should not care what others think of your choices. If you dont drink because someone says not to then you are choosing to sacrifice your own will to obey them. This works both ways if you drink because someone says you have to then you are again sacrificing you own will by choice.
To drink or not is your choice, and no one esles. If you cant handle that then I suggest you get medical help.
"To drink or not is your choice, and no one esles. If you cant handle that then I suggest you get medical help."
I am afraid I do not know what you mean by this.
And since I am thinking it is an insult toward me, I am posting something that I imagine you will not like:
" I know and am convinced by the Lord Jesus that there is nothing unclean of itself; but to him who considers anything to be unclean, to him it is unclean.
Yet if your brother is grieved because if your food, you are no longer walking in love. Do not destroy with your food the one for whom Christ died.
Therefore do not let your good be spoken of as evil;
for the kingdom of God is not eating or drinking, but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.
For he who serves Christ in these things is acceptable to God and approved by men.
Therefore let us persue the things which make for peace and the things by which one may edify another.
Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All things indeed are pure, but it is evil for the man who eats with offense.
It is good neither to eat meat nor drink wine nor do anything by which your brother stumbles or is offended or is made weak.
(Romans 14:1 through 21 NKJV)
I think people who get offended because another person DOESN'T drink....are just as small as the people who get offended because a person DOES drink.
Then it's a good thing no one here got offended because another person doesn't drink but only because some people who don't drink clearly look down on those who do.
Well, theres a very good reason why, I compare it to misery loves company.
Why would they want someone sober around whos able to recall
something they've said or none that they'd like to forget , or can't
remember themselves. So, if no one remembers it , it didn't happen.
Designated drivers, thats an insult to them, no one drank that much.
Last edited by virgode; 08-16-2009 at 03:27 PM..
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As the days wore on and people formed closer bonds as "drinking buddies" I continued to become more depressed, feeling like a total "outsider." 
