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At least there is someone out there who does understand. There have actually been many occasions lately where I felt that because of the way I am(African-American and nerdy at the same time, and I have a very "white sounding" voice), most women would rather not deal with me. I have actually been called "white boy" in high school, ironically, by a white female. I am still trying online dating(and it isn't working). I think for now I am just learning how to say "forget her and move on to the next person". Doesn't make for any kind of dating life, but if I changed for the sake of getting a girlfriend, I would be miserable for a different reason. I would wonder if that woman actually did love me.
People, especially women, tend to reject outright what they cannot immediately understand. In all honesty, people like us scare the hell out of most others who are not used to appreciating people for their individuality. Our look says one thing, our personality another. It is the lack of the ability to fully reconcile these two apparently jarring qualities that repels most, like a "cacophonous" harmony or strikingly avant-garde work of art.
And to break it down even further, in mainstream america, blacks are seen in a more positive light than asians because they are considered most american and are more socially accepted (it's probably natural) and even hispanics before asians. The only reason this has shifted at all in regards to hispanics is the border issue and heavy illegal immigration. I have seen this in general society and even in the workplace, often. Asians are the ones who receive the most prejudice. Even in upper-middle class society, it's the same theme when blacks are in the same socioeconomic category. this is because overall blacks are seen as most american (naturally) than asians and have similar cultural values and thinking minus the ghetto culture. in mainstream society, pop or even ghetto culture is a major part of america so it's no surprise blacks are viewed as most american and fit in better. even in employment situations, if it was a choice between an asian applicant and a black applicant with the exact same qualifications, even most white americans would prefer the black applicant (i have no idea why this is a shock to you) because they've been in america longer and again, considered most american. sorry but your take is less in touch with reality than my assessment no matter the model minority stereotye or whatever. that has very little effect on majority of america's perceptions, preferences or likes and dislikes.
This is so delusional as to be otherworldly.
Blacks have only really been considered "mainstream" since the '20s and 30's with the Harlem Renaissance. Even still, this perception hasn't insulated blacks from the segregation and racism so prevalent at the time and beyond (just ask an Asian woman I know in her 60's who was able to attend white schools in southern Louisiana at a time when blacks couldn't). Additionally, being "mainstream" as a black person had its costs. Your work, style, behavior, and attitude had better be acceptable to the dominant society if you wished to be marginally accepted.
i find this thread surreal. i'm having my friend read over it right now and they can see it. mr. sykes stated that asians date whites but not african-americans because of taboo. oh boohoo, how dare others not date blacks and ignore character etc etc.
but no one woke up and realized that african-americans especially do not find asians attractive usually either. as a matter of fact, asians represent the total opposite of what they do find attractive. anyone with common sense would realize this dynamic prevalent in society. african-americans find whites and hispanics more in their sights for dating and marriage than any other race. Asians are nerds, have flat asses, don't have rythym, thier men are effeminate etc. sound familiar? nothing that appeals to general americana including blacks. anybody waking up at all? why is it that one race is being demonized for bigotry not 'looking at character' but another race is ignored when they do it. could it be the blind 'ol "blacks are discriminated" tape again or 'american opinion is a fact' brainwashing?
this is why i have been in this thread because it's been so skewed.
Given that Asians aren't exactly clamoring for romantic attention from blacks in the first place, this is neither here nor there.
MrSykes, the last two posts give me a glimmer of hope and a reason why I continue being the way I am. In one post, it is mentioned that sometimes a person's individuality isn't appreciated because it is like what you said "avant-garde work of art". It takes a certain person to appreciate it. In the last post, you mentioned that if Blacks wanted to be accepted at least marginally, Blacks had to be a "certain way". In many ways, I often think the way things are set up, sometimes it is bette for one to do his own thing and wait for the person who will like it, rather than beg for public acceptance. This extends to the dating scene. Sometimes many women can't understand what they see and are turned off by it.
Blacks have only really been considered "mainstream" since the '20s and 30's with the Harlem Renaissance. Even still, this perception hasn't insulated blacks from the segregation and racism so prevalent at the time and beyond (just ask an Asian woman I know in her 60's who was able to attend white schools in southern Louisiana at a time when blacks couldn't). Additionally, being "mainstream" as a black person had its costs. Your work, style, behavior, and attitude had better be acceptable to the dominant society if you wished to be marginally accepted.
here you go harping on the distant past. you are the one who is 'delusional'.
secondly, your quip about asians not clamoring for black attention is really off the mark because you are just deflecting attention away from the fact blacks do not find asians attractive, especially african-americans. you can try to deflect that all you want but it's just going to make you look more like a fool and self-deluding because it's true. anyone who is honest and lived in america long enough knows this is true in general. most african-americans like larger rear ends and very curvacious people as well as more outgoing or dynamic personalities. most asians are on the opposite far end of that spectrum. PLEASE CONTINUE TO TRY TO PULL THE WOOL OVER OUR EYES and deny it! it will be funny watching you try to make more excuses and continue to paint african-americans as victims and always on the receiving end.
i think your perspective is off. it's like wondering why an atheist and a fundamental christian are not getting together much. lol
i was in a nightclub with some friends and i noticed that no black women wanted to dance with this asian guy even though he was asking them. they were like, 'uhuh girl, i don't do asian.' they are just not appealing to most people including african-americans. he didn't look fazed about it or angry, he just went about his business and asked other people.
california you will probably see more variety of couples.
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MrSykes, the last two posts give me a glimmer of hope and a reason why I continue being the way I am. In one post, it is mentioned that sometimes a person's individuality isn't appreciated because it is like what you said "avant-garde work of art". It takes a certain person to appreciate it. In the last post, you mentioned that if Blacks wanted to be accepted at least marginally, Blacks had to be a "certain way". In many ways, I often think the way things are set up, sometimes it is bette for one to do his own thing and wait for the person who will like it, rather than beg for public acceptance. This extends to the dating scene. Sometimes many women can't understand what they see and are turned off by it.
there are people who like or appreciate those who are usually labeled "nerds" no matter what race. they are a lot more honest usually, sometimes to a fault which isn't good since people will take advantage of it. you should always be true to yourself and value what is good about you even if the majority consensus does not represent you.
another thing you can take comfort in is the fact they are usually idiots and less intellectually inclined and more about fitting in. i'm not talking about just education because there are educated people who are the same way but 'nerds' are usually not just labeled that way just for being smart or intellectual, it's because they usually less guileless which is actually a virtue.
LOL, way to capriciously refocus the subject of the thread as soon as I counter your shameless pursuit of the biggest piece of the oppression pie with the cold, hard reality that, yes, BY AND LARGE, Asians really do not have it all that bad, as evidenced by how the model minority myth continues to thrive, in large part due to reticence on the part of the Asian-American community to rid themselves of it.
I really don't blame them, though. I would love as a black person to not have my fundamental intellectual capacity questioned at every turn. I would love not to have women clutch their purses or cross the street to "catch the bus" as I approach them. I wouldn't want to give up being perceived as studious, hard-working, and an overall pleasure to be around, even if it may, being a guy, end up costing me a few points in the category of sexual appeal.
that's what you were really upset about. like it isn't obvious.
you lied from the beginning. that is shameful because you scapegoated asian women dating white men with dual motivations. first, because of the model minority stereotype(which you are obviously jealous or resentful of) and secondly, because asian women dating white men more than black men just represent that snub or political issue of white/black power disparity. it's an ego issue with you and that is what your real problem was with it.
i would give it up if i were you. but you don't need to lose hope (lol), asian-americans youth try hard to fit in with mainstream culture as much as possible and are more into interracial relationships BUT it's also normal for them to date and marry other asian-americans as that is increasing just as most african-americans date and marry eachother.
C'mon man.I think you are putting a little to much thought into this.Obviously there are cultural differences but do you totally impress every black woman you talk to?European women are different from american women.Just because a white girl wont go straight home with you from a bar doesn,t mean shes in the klan.
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