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Prehaps you simply hang around the wrong women. If most of the White/Black/Gay/Straight/Asian/Hispanic people I meet/know are small/closed/narrow minded people.... well, what does that say about me??? If you think Black women are a monolith in how they view Black men.... what does that say about you?
As my Dad likes to say, "Water meets it's own level". Look within.
From the way I am seeing this, Black women and Black men get stereotyped as monolithic. I can empathize with you on this because I feel like I get put in a box. Sometimes I feel like I am expected to be a certain way. As a whole, African-Americans, female and male, get treated as one monolith because it is often too easy too think. It hurts the persons who don't live up to the stereotype, in more than one way. So there are African-American men who committ crimes and act "thuggish". I don't behave that way. I am a 180 from that. So there are African-American women out there who are loud and rude. That says nothing about you, the individual. Some say "stereotyping" is about survival. I don't see how it helps me survive. In fact in someways, it can hurt people. I listened to a speech by Tiim Wise, who is an antiracist activist. He said that when you give into the stereotypes of "Black people being horrible, seeking to hurt, rob, beat and maim", you let your guard down to the dangers where you would never expect them to come from. He mentioned the school shooting at Columbine High, Santana High, and Thurston High. According to him, these were people who lived in areas where there were very tuny, if any, populations of African-American and Hispanics. Some felt like they would be very safe and figured violence could only occur in places with sizeable populations of said ethnic groups. Many people gave into the stereotype and then the persons who did the school shootings were not minorities, but White teenagers from middle-upper class backgrounds. It shows that you can't give into the stereotype. Anyone can do bad things and anyone can do good things. You can't take anyone as one monolith, Black, White, Hispanic, Asian, Native American, Middle Eastern, Pacific Islander, anyone. You can't take anyone as one monolith. It doesn't help the individual person that you stereotype because you'll be hurting the person you don't even know, and it won't help you because you never know.
Prehaps you simply hang around the wrong women. If most of the White/Black/Gay/Straight/Asian/Hispanic people I meet/know are small/closed/narrow minded people.... well, what does that say about me??? If you think Black women are a monolith in how they view Black men.... what does that say about you?
As my Dad likes to say, "Water meets it's own level". Look within.
I don't think it's about the women he hangs around, but the women he's come across. Big difference. We have no choice in the kinds of people we come across in the normal course of living. That said, I can personally attest to some of his experiences with black women he's come across, and I'm convinced it's not just me. In light of my negative experiences with the same, I make it a point not to "pass on" this negativity to other blacks.
I don't think it's about the women he hangs around, but the women he's come across. Big difference. We have no choice in the kinds of people we come across in the normal course of living. That said, I can personally attest to some of his experiences with black women he's come across, and I'm convinced it's not just me. In light of my negative experiences with the same, I make it a point not to "pass on" this negativity to other blacks.
And one shouldn't pass on any negative stereotype to other people.
Comes across is very different from hangs around with. Point taken... BUT
I come across a wide variety of people in my day to day life. None of these random encounters would cause me to make negative generalizations about White/Black/Asian/Gay/Hispanic/whatever people? Why?? Because in my life, I try to be in the company of and associate with quality people. People like myself. SO if I happen to encounter an Asian person with qualities that rub me the wrong way, doesn't really matter to me. I chalk it up to the individual, not the group. I know plenty of Asian people that I get along with fabulously.
If a Hispanic person were making this type of comment about Black men or women, I might give them a slight pass and encourage them to encounter a more diverse group of Black men/women. I am less forgiving when a Black man/woman to makes such statements about Black women/men. You should know better than to try to group everyone together. You're a Black guy that likes sci fi and skiing? Great. You should know enough to know that you are not an anomaly for Black men or women. Are you an Asian women that likes theater and performance art?? Please don't complain to me that all Asian men are FOBs or computer nerds? Those type of statements say a LOT more about to commentor than the group.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrSykes
I don't think it's about the women he hangs around, but the women he's come across. Big difference. We have no choice in the kinds of people we come across in the normal course of living. That said, I can personally attest to some of his experiences with black women he's come across, and I'm convinced it's not just me. In light of my negative experiences with the same, I make it a point not to "pass on" this negativity to other blacks.
I also conducted a fun experiment where I joined a dating web site for fun. I set up a quick profile with some of my pics. I decided to chat with 10 women who were from the states, and 10 women who were located internationally. My main goal was to be direct about what I wanted and ask them for their personal information.
If I were one of those women you used for some silly psychology experiment, I wouldn't respect you or date you either regardless of what color your skin was.
Why am I not truly accepted by the mainstream in when basically I did everything right here in America, but the world accepts me? An answer to the question I posed is the American media that continues to belittle and defame black people, and portray our culture as inferior. There are other variables, and I could use other examples based on current evens to validate my point. It is so ironic indeed.
The media is BS, don't you believe it. Now that Obama is president these groups are stirring up trouble and trouble is what they want if you are going to buy into it.
There is nothing about your culture that is inferior, so get that out of your head
All Americans do not think alike, take a look at this forum and all of its topics etc, not just this thread.
I can't help you with the women tho, your on your own, their are millions of mixed marriages now and I shouldn't have to even say or point that out.
I'm of Irish heritage and nobody liked us either when our ancestors immigrated, my ancestors were like slaves themselves for little pay back in the late 1800's. I know we did not have it as horrible as your ancestors had, can't even compare.
Why are you not truly accepted? LOL, I'm white and not truly accepted because I have different beliefs or what I do and react to things. Don't let it get you, you just bared part of your soul, so I know you'll make it.
I can relate to your point, I conducted a study where I created two profiles on a web cite. One white and the other black; I kept everything the same except the ethnicity. I then winked/nuged at the same women with both profiles and I noticed that the white profile got more return responses; and that was from asians of all types that includes (pakistani and Indian women) as well as what we consider the mainstream term for asian(chinese, Japanese ect...). As for the spanish/latino women the responses were about the same for both profiles. As for white/european women and black women that is a whole new topic...
I can relate to your point, I conducted a study where I created two profiles on a web cite. One white and the other black; I kept everything the same except the ethnicity. I then winked/nuged at the same women with both profiles and I noticed that the white profile got more return responses; and that was from asians of all types that includes (pakistani and Indian women) as well as what we consider the mainstream term for asian(chinese, Japanese ect...). As for the spanish/latino women the responses were about the same for both profiles. As for white/european women and black women that is a whole new topic...
Why is it a whole new topic for white/european women? don't want to share the results?
if i conducted a study like that, i wouldn't expect the results to be to be equal across the board either. i bet if it was stated in the profile that you were fat, you would get few responses etc. race may seem to be a nonissue but it's not the case in reality because in general there are differences between races and cultures.
I am a black male, and most people have said and rated me very attractive and very intelligent. I graduated from one of the top private universities in the country and I hold a very good job for a person my age. I also have traveled around the world and have noticed a huge disparity on how women from other countries treat me compared to how most women in America treat me.
It just seems as if most women born in this country who are white, Asian, Latina etc; are so hesitant to actually start a relationship with me. There is no doubt they show there is obvious interest in me with them sending me text messages and giving me there numbers, flirting with me in the office, inviting me to some special events. However when it comes to you know starting a real relationship and even showing you want to commit, they run around circles and play games. Almost as if they are scared to have them meet there parents. I once asked this beautiful white female out who I knew was interested in me from the start and it took almost four months of leading her and basically just asking her out until she finally agreed to go on a date. Our relationship only lasted two months and it seems all of my relationships with women raised in this country last only from one night to two months.
It is completely different with the woman I encountered from other countries. I met this one Japanese girl who was cute and goofy, and our strange relationship lasted long. She was willing to use her money out of her own expense to take me to Japan to meet her family and get married. She was serious about it too, saw the ticket and everything. I also once dated this girl from Spain, and she was very open-minded from the start...I even met her family.
I also had this long relationship with a white woman from Germany. We dated and went to Germany together for a couple months. I can tell you my experience as a black man in Germany on a daily basis was much more positive than my experience as a black man in America. I felt the people there automatically gave me respect. No long stares, great conversations, and hardly any of it had to do with me being black. Ironically, it is like that when I go to any other European country, I just feel that I am more respected and accepted. Who would have thought I would feel comfortable in a sea of white faces, however this issue belongs in another board I guess.
I also conducted a fun experiment where I joined a dating web site for fun. I set up a quick profile with some of my pics. I decided to chat with 10 women who were from the states, and 10 women who were located internationally. My main goal was to be direct about what I wanted and ask them for their personal information. The 10 women I chatted with who were not from the states, were not uptight at all. They were willing to give out personal info about themselves, and eight out of the 10 of them even gave me there number. The only time the fact I was black came up and this was when one of them said it was there wish to have sex with a black man.
The 10 women I chatted from who were from different parts of the USA, asked follow up questions, seemed very uptight and thought I was being rude, brought up race and giving excuses that they have not been in a biracial relationship before. They tried to give me other options like maybe an email or aim at first and all that other nonsense.
Why has the World or at least the Eastern Hemisphere put race aside however America has not? Maybe that is the real question. Why am I not truly accepted by the mainstream in when basically I did everything right here in America, but the world accepts me? An answer to the question I posed is the American media that continues to belittle and defame black people, and portray our culture as inferior. There are other variables, and I could use other examples based on current evens to validate my point. It is so ironic indeed.
what do you then propose? a law forcing women to date and introduce at least one black partner to their parents? perhaps diversity coaching in schools? maybe we should just hand more power over to the thought police?
i know women who exclusively date black men. do you have a problem with these women because they discriminate in your favor? i also know people who will have it on with anyone regardless of color, size, height, age, class, and/or gender. is this how you think we all should be? i know people who love tarts but only take librarian types home to meet mum. would that be ok with your highness? the way i see it, what you lose on the swings you make up on the merrygorounds! in other words, DEAL WITH IT!
while you're banging on about how enlightened the rest of the world is compared to americans it might be worthwhile remembering the german people's response to boris becker when he decided to marry a black woman.
I wish people in general interested my half as much as to seem to interest you folks. Just seems like a lot of work. I'm to busy --doing something
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Hey GL!
