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My Thanksgiving went fine. Good food and good company. I was like you, CA. I kept having to talk myself out of cancelling. After I had accepted, then she told me the two grandsons were going to be there. Their house is smaller than mine and I was having visions of headaches and screaming kids. They are 2 and 3. They were so good! I was amazed. I didn't want to disappoint my friend either. She said so many times that she was so happy I came. I didn't think I pigged out, took a little of everything but boy, I was as stuffed as a bird! She sent home a big doggie bag too. Had that for supper tonight. I was glad I went. We talked about Earl a couple of times too and I didn't even feel weepy. We talked good stuff, not unhappy stuff.
Glad you did okay.
Tami...I'm glad you had a good time with your neighbor and her family...Thanks for being honest about having "mixed-feelings" for awhile....Great that her grandsons were so well-behaved...I can have "mixed-feelings" about everything right now. Who am I? What do I want? Or not?...Guess it's all part of coming into my "own." Sometimes I feel like a teenager again even though I just turned 65! (A teenager who doesn't always know which end is "up" or "down!").. Have you ever felt like this? Thanks for writing.
Tami...I'm glad you had a good time with your neighbor and her family...Thanks for being honest about having "mixed-feelings" for awhile....Great that her grandsons were so well-behaved...I can have "mixed-feelings" about everything right now. Who am I? What do I want? Or not?...Guess it's all part of coming into my "own." Sometimes I feel like a teenager again even though I just turned 65! (A teenager who doesn't always know which end is "up" or "down!").. Have you ever felt like this? Thanks for writing.
No, except for the first year after Earl died. I have become "Me" once again. I have always had a strong sense of "Me" and being forced to be alone has brought "Me" back out.
I spent my Thanksgiving alone, I wasn't invited to anyone's house and I am sure I would have declined as I just wanted to be left alone. I took a drive into Prescott, pulled my car on side of road and watched people enter and leave the restaurant all dressed up, laughing and having a good time. It made me happy to witness their happiness. I ate a bag of Cheetos for my Thanksgiving meal...but around midnight ate a chicken sandwich.
I understand your feelings of which end is "up" or "down", CA. Although, I don't experience that so much anymore, I do feel that way at times. Trying to rediscover the new me and I take what fits and discard what doesn't. At times it feels "rocky" moments. I am trying to get back my "HAPPY".
I am so happy CA and Tam you had a delightful Thanksgiving, makes my heart sing. :-)
smilin', as long as you did what you wanted to do, that was a good day. Last Thanksgiving and Christmas my neighbors at my old house invited me but I declined. I, too, wanted to be alone last year since they were the "firsts" of my widowhood. I think my trepidation of going Thursday may be due to the fact I have nothing to talk about with people. I don't work anymore, I have no children around me, no family to talk about. I'm just a lump. Which is fine with me but does not make for stimulating company! LOL. I'm glad you were good to yourself, smilin'. Keep up the positive attitude. (((hugs)))
No, except for the first year after Earl died. I have become "Me" once again. I have always had a strong sense of "Me" and being forced to be alone has brought "Me" back out.
I feel more like "me" again since I've had a chance to rest and hibernate in my cave for awhile...I've never been a "social butterfly." Need to take life in "small doses" right now. (I guess!)...Anyway, I feel a whole lot better since I've had more "alone time" and peace and quiet! I'm "recharging" right now and getting back in "balance!"
I spent my Thanksgiving alone, I wasn't invited to anyone's house and I am sure I would have declined as I just wanted to be left alone. I took a drive into Prescott, pulled my car on side of road and watched people enter and leave the restaurant all dressed up, laughing and having a good time. It made me happy to witness their happiness. I ate a bag of Cheetos for my Thanksgiving meal...but around midnight ate a chicken sandwich.
I understand your feelings of which end is "up" or "down", CA. Although, I don't experience that so much anymore, I do feel that way at times. Trying to rediscover the new me and I take what fits and discard what doesn't. At times it feels "rocky" moments. I am trying to get back my "HAPPY".
I am so happy CA and Tam you had a delightful Thanksgiving, makes my heart sing. :-)
I'm glad you did okay on Thanksgiving all by yourself...How long did you sit outside the restaurant? Great that you felt happy for everyone. Did you have any sad feelings too?...I'd probably have mixed feelings...I started feeling a little sad at my friend's house on Thanksgiving so I told her (and everyone) that I was going to drive over to the local dollar store to pick-up cat food and a few other things. (Before the store closed early for Thanksgiving.)...This gave me a chance to be alone and deal with my feelings by myself. When I came back to my friend's house, I felt better.
I feel more like "me" again since I've had a chance to rest and hibernate in my cave for awhile...I've never been a "social butterfly." Need to take life in "small doses" right now. (I guess!)...Anyway, I feel a whole lot better since I've had more "alone time" and peace and quiet! I'm "recharging" right now and getting back in "balance!"
I read an article earlier today about the "pyramid of grief". According to "it", I'm not doing so well in the acceptance dept. According to "it", 1) I'm supposed to go out and find a job or go volunteer someplace, 2) I'm supposed to socialize, 3) I should not isolate myself and 4) I should rely on my "network".
Wellllll......1) I don't want to go out and find another minimum wage job and be worked to death for it, 2) I don't want to socialize, been there done that, 3) I like my home. I am comfortable in it! I like the peace and quiet more times than not. 4) I have NO NETWORK!
So guess I'm in pretty rough shape according to "them". I'd bet "they" would say I'm still in denial. I DO agree that if someone is having a really difficult time coming to grips with a death, they should seek therapy BUT I think these "experts" should stop telling people how to grieve.
Oh, "they" also said that symptoms of grief usually run from a few months to 2 years. Nothing like putting a time frame on it. Bah, just do what feels right for YOU. Bah-humbug.
I'm still alive...I made it through my "old gray mare" birthday and Thanksgiving but it was a bit of a "struggle" at times...Thanks to everyone for the "kind words."...How did your Thanksgiving turn out? What did you do? How did you feel? Did you "pig-out?"...I kept having second thoughts about going to my friend's house for Thanksgiving. Wondered if I'd do better alone this year...But I didn't want to "bail-out" and disappoint my friend. So I went after all and did okay...How about you?
When was your birthday, CA? Belated Happy Birthday wishes. How was YOUR birthday? What did you do to celebrate?
Glad you went to your friend's for Thanksgiving. While potentially not ideal, it is about the memories we create each day now. In another year you'll have a different set of memories, if you want, when recalling this holiday.
MSR: Hope you did ok over Thanksgiving...I agree with what you wrote about married couples. Some couples have more of a "functional relationship" and don't have a super close bond or emotional connection...I'm happy that you and Crick were so close but sad that she's gone now...My husband and I were super close. We started off as friends and stayed best friends until the day he died...Anyway, I think you belong here because you know how hard it is to lose a best friend and "one and only."
Thanks, CA.
You eloquently summarized what I was trying to say. I wouldn't be able to marry someone who wasn't my best friend, yet many do. I'm not judging anyone, just saying every marriage/ relationship could be different than what some have.
It makes me wonder if those who divorce rather quickly had any friendship or other ties that connected them to the other person.
Thanks for telling me I belong here. Yes, Crick was a "one and only" package of many things.
Cal, I just sat in my car and watched people enter and leave the restaurant, and I sat in my car for about ten minutes and I started to get flash backs of when we went out and so left. But, truly I enjoyed watching people and their happiness.
Tam, I guess we rate the same on the grief scale.
Mtn. States, you know I have to share this, what a pleasure it is for me to read your posts. You ground me. Thank you for sharing.
Hugs to all and a all goodnite.
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LOL. I'm glad you were good to yourself, smilin'. Keep up the positive attitude. (((hugs)))
Bday?
