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Lately, I've come to the realization that I haven't really dealt with my grief at all. (My grief over losing my husband and my sons and other loved ones within a short span of time.)...I'm going to make my grief and my "healing" a top priority in my life. (From now on.)...I don't need anyone else's "blessings" (or permission) to mourn the loss of my family. This is just something I need to do for myself. (In my own time, and in my own way.)...And I feel confident that I will find a path that works best for me.
I know. For the most part I am ok but every now and again the sadness creeps up on me and hits me like a sledgehammer. Not just for her but for all who I have lost in the last 6 years.
Cat
I've run into friends who "cut me off." They jump in and tell me that my loved ones are still with me "in spirit." And I believe this myself...But, it will never be the same as having my family members right here with me on the physical plane...I don't want to act (or pretend) that it is exactly the "same."...Right now, I need to mourn. I need to feel sad. And miss having my loved ones with me...This is all part of the grieving and "healing" process. (To me.)...I know that I will eventually get to a place of "acceptance." But, I'm not "there" yet...I'm sorry you've lost so many family members too.
Lately, I've come to the realization that I haven't really dealt with my grief at all. (My grief over losing my husband and my sons and other loved ones within a short span of time.)...I'm going to make my grief and my "healing" a top priority in my life. (From now on.)...I don't need anyone else's "blessings" (or permission) to mourn the loss of my family. This is just something I need to do for myself. (In my own time, and in my own way.)...And I feel confident that I will find a path that works best for me.
CArizona, how do you plan on working on healing? Where does your confidence come from that you will find a path?
I'm asking because I've been "faking it until I can make it" and I'm getting tired. Please share your journey re: your progress.
Good to hear you sound so aware, confident & having a plan. I have felt grief for 5 1/2 years, but I hear you on more to come. I'm fearful of not recognizing when I should set time aside & let the sorrow of it all develop. I'm fearful of deep depression.
You are an inspiration & I plan to return to this thread to see how you are doing.
Wow! A husband & two sons! My heart goes out to you in a very big way. I can barely handle losing one son. You surely have developed an inner core of strength like no other.
I agree about something that must be done alone. <3
CArizona, how do you plan on working on healing? Where does your confidence come from that you will find a path?
I'm asking because I've been "faking it until I can make it" and I'm getting tired. Please share your journey re: your progress.
I can relate. I'm tired of "faking it" too...People look at me and think that my life has always been "smooth sailing" except for the recent deaths in my family. But, this isn't really true...Ever since I was small, I've had to figure out ways to "rescue myself."...As a kid, I knew I could count on my parents and other adults for "some things" but not everything...So I've always searched for "answers" and "cures" on my own.
How I've dealt with grief. Just sort of go numb. Because all too soon the grief sufferer realizes that no one else can feel the pain, no one else cares, everyone else carries on with life as usual, and so the grief sufferer must carry on as well.
Good to hear you sound so aware, confident & having a plan. I have felt grief for 5 1/2 years, but I hear you on more to come. I'm fearful of not recognizing when I should set time aside & let the sorrow of it all develop. I'm fearful of deep depression.
You are an inspiration & I plan to return to this thread to see how you are doing.
Wow! A husband & two sons! My heart goes out to you in a very big way. I can barely handle losing one son. You surely have developed an inner core of strength like no other.
I agree about something that must be done alone. <3
To be honest, I worry that I will slip into a chronic and "underground" type of depression if I don't take time out to deal with my feelings...I've been halfway "shut-down" for awhile now. (Without realizing it.)...The only "cure" is to start letting my grief and feelings come out on a regular basis. This is how I feel anyway...Sure, it can be painful and gut-wrenching. I feel like my heart is breaking into bits and pieces...But, I usually feel better and more "alive" after my "private sessions." (Until it's time to release some more feelings.)...I'm so sorry that you and juneaubound lost your sons too.
For starters, I'm going to change and modify the role I've been playing with friends a little bit..I'm famous for being "sweet" and "nice." Sort of a "do-gooder" who rushes right in to help other people...But now, I'm going to take time to "be here" for myself. Set down more boundaries...Tell friends that I'm making my "grief recovery" the top priority in my life right now. (And really mean it!)...If friends don't understand, so be it! Too bad!...I'm not going to let anyone talk me out of my need and my "right" to grieve the loss of my family members.
Lately, I've come to the realization that I haven't really dealt with my grief at all. (My grief over losing my husband and my sons and other loved ones within a short span of time.)...I'm going to make my grief and my "healing" a top priority in my life. (From now on.)...I don't need anyone else's "blessings" (or permission) to mourn the loss of my family. This is just something I need to do for myself. (In my own time, and in my own way.)...And I feel confident that I will find a path that works best for me.
I have come to realize that I, too, haven't dealt with anything. I don't feel confident that I will find a path. I am a mere shadow of my former self.
I feel more confident. I don't know where my wife is but I don't want to be stuck in a grief rut and she sure wouldn't be. I just have to have faith that she is ok and move on. Hope you others are taking care of yourselves and your needs.
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