husband moving to hawaii (Kaneohe: fit in, apartments, renting) - (HI) - Page 3 - City-Data Forum

stjepan · 04-09-2010, 04:38 PM

But of course, everyone's entitle to say whatever, thank God. But why are you jumping on me? It's not about a certain type of response, it's about totally wrong type of response. The lady wrote "So my husband is moving to Oahu in two weeks" and after that she aske for an advice about "a very friendly guy" and renting the apartment.
But, instead of focusing on the apartment the answers were like I'm listening Dr. Phil. So, if I write "I want to go to Hawaii" and you say "you don't have enough money", I have no problem with that. But if you say "your wife will leave you", well, then I do have a problem because I didn't ask shrink for an advice. Do you see what I'm talking about? The answer were by my deep belief totally unrelated to the question. And don't give me "this is Hawaii" story; I can be faithful anywhere in the world, and I can be unfaithful anywhere in the world, the particular place has nothing to do with it.

norris14 · 04-09-2010, 06:04 PM

I agree with Stjepan. It's one thing to say she should go with her husband, that they they would both be much happier together than apart. It's totally another thing to say he would cheat on her and their marriage would end if she doesn't go. I think that's uncalled for.

But whatever...do and say what you want. Just know your opinion of her husband's faithfulness is absolutely worthless and doesn't answer any question she asked.

jenie24 · 04-09-2010, 06:15 PM

Hank your info has definitely helped answer some of our questions about the bus situation, very helpful info. He is def going to have to get a scooter or beater car to get too and from work. I hope he can find a decent place to rent a room that is close to the base and can find transportation quickly once he gets there. I am sure it will be interesting to do within 1 week. We do have a friend there that he will be crashing with but I dont know if they are in Kailua or in downtown Honolulu.
I am not going to get into the leaving my husband alone in Hawaii because I dont have any concerns about him there without me except for missing him.

HankDfrmSD · 04-09-2010, 08:06 PM

To give you an idea of what your husband will have to pay for room rent, here are some rooms for rent in Kailua right now:

hawaii rooms & shares classifieds "Kailua" - craigslist

and here are some in Kaneohe:

hawaii rooms & shares classifieds "Kaneohe" - craigslist

jenie24 · 04-10-2010, 08:33 AM

Thanks stjepan and norris14! Others can think that he WILL cheat on me but I have no worries and that's all that matters. If he was a cheater he would be cheating on me here and just because he is going to Hawaii doesn't mean he will cheat just because there are beautiful people there. We lived in Southern California with beautiful people I am not worried. Like you both said the only bad thing is us being apart from each other but hopefully I will be able to join him in Hawaii. Hank thanks again for the info! We are puzzled about the transportation issue now with the bus to the base. I think he starts work at 7am and still not sure where he will be staying since he has to figure that out when he gets there. Guess this is what you have to deal with when its last minute. The base has been waiting to fill this position for a year so they really need someone that is why he is going out there so soon!! Hopefully things will work out for him and he can get situated quickly!

Balad1 · 04-10-2010, 11:29 AM

This is an excellent opportunity for him to break into the civil service. Once he has past his probationary period who knows the opportunities that might open up back in the North East. If I remember you're from CT so there is the sub base in Groton and the Coast Guard academy to name just two.

I don't know where your husband's head is at since not working for a while but this should really give him a shot in the arm and benefit the entire family.

Good luck, I'm happy for you and your family.

stjepan · 04-10-2010, 01:15 PM

Well, if you lived in Southern California then Hawaii won't be something from the other planet I guess

I have a good feeling about this, hope you two will be fine and happy and post here great stories from Hawaii

DSalisbury · 04-10-2010, 03:18 PM

I was in love with a great guy, he was transferred to Hawaii and we were very much in love. But 3 months later he wrote me a letter explaining he needed some space. Women are on vacation in Hawaii and do things they wouldn't do if they were home. They are there to have a good time and let their hair down. There is to much temptation for a man.
I lived there for 2 years a long time ago and I was one of those women when I first got there. After I decided to stay, is when I calmed down. Knowing that.... I should have moved there with him.
Life is to short. After living in Hawaii he won't want to come home where it's cold and dreary in the winter. The beach changes people. The Islands change people! It's beautiful and fun! Go! You are young and should enjoy your man!
I have a good friend there. She's older and safe. She can advise him on living quarters. Let me know.
Dani

aquariusmom · 04-10-2010, 06:04 PM

Goodness....

I love Hawaii and can't imagine turning down the chance to go.

That said, some of these responses are just Out There.

Okay my husband is in the service and it is not uncommon for a husband or wife to move away to a new duty station as a geographic bachelor, until the one left behind can sell a house or finish a job contract or for kids to graduate from school, or a whole host of other circumstances. We have hosted MANY such men and women in the past as they looked for places to stay and for family dinners and it is obvious it is always hard being apart, but it is also obvious many couples DO make it work. I can also assure you, as someone who has lived an entire married life (of 18 wonderful yrs) with my husband leaving for weeks or months at a time, lonely military wives are not going to be beating down your husbands door for a chance to cheat with him- they're lonely for the HUSBAND'S (their husband who are off fighting in wars, chasing drug runners, exploring the arctic, etc.) and their mamas. The number one support source for military wives who miss their husbands and their families back home are not strange men- but are OTHER military wives.

Sure some people cheat in all walks of life, but if a man or woman can't keep it in their pants during times of separation, they surely are the same type who wouldn't have been able to keep it in their pants when they were together.

kadu · 04-10-2010, 06:25 PM

Ditto what aquariousmom said. My husband is also in the service and we have been separated for months, seeing each other only a few times a year. YOU know your husband and YOU know whether or not he can be trusted. Hawaii is beautiful and if it works for you to go, then go. If it works for you to stay, then stay. I have never worried about my husband cheating. That's why its a marriage. I trust him comepletely. If I didn't, I wouldn't be married to him. =)