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Don't tell me to turn up my hearing aids, or pretend that you know sign language when I don't sign and neither do you!
Hearing loss is depressing enough for those of us how have acute or profound hearing loss without the add BS of insensitive friends and relatives who wouldn't think of making fun of a person with a more physical handicap. Hearing loss IS a Freaking Handicap and despite the fact that you can't see it or understand it!
Now that I've got that off my chest...
Hearing aids are no substitute for the natural mechanism of human hearing. Not even close! What the latest hearing aids CAN do is to increase the volume at certain frequencies most used by the human voice BUT hearing loss can lead to a deterioration to not only isolate sounds, but to distinguish them from one another.
When it comes to listening to a single individual in a crowded room filled with other speakers, the human ear and brain have an uncanny ability to cancel out that which it wants to here and what it doesn't. A hearing impaired person on the other hand doesn't have that ability. The best way that I have found to describe such a situation is to ask people with perfect hearing to listen to a bad tape recording of a room full of people at a party of reception. See how hard it is to isolate who is the person that you are suppose to be listening to? Well that's what is like for the hearing impaired everyday and at every event. And god help us if the place has crap acoustics (wood panelling, hard wood of tile floors, nothing to dampen sounds).
But it really gets wicked when it comes to being able to translate what one hears into words that a hearing impaired person can understand because the brain's ability to distinguish words deteriorates overtime. So not only does a hearing impaired person have to increase the volume of key frequencies but must also basically translate what they hear into recognizable words that the mind can understand. For those with good hearing this happens instantaneously while for us it an take milliseconds which is a life time in a live conversation. Of course the problem is compounded by the sister-law-who speaks 250 words per minute with her mouthful, Uncle Joe Bob, who just mumbles under his breath, or worse yet, friends who drop to a whisper during the good part of a story WHEN THERE IS NO ONE ELSE AROUND!
Another thing that really ticks me off is the statement by the hearing perfect to we the hearing impaired... "Oh, you can hear you just have selective hearing." Well damn right we have selective hearing for a number of reasons. Depending on one's hearing loss certain frequencies come through and others do not. So if I respond to a sharp crack 4000hz but not your hey you at 500hz. Alternately, many of us have learned, sometimes without even knowing it, how to read lips, so if you aren't facing me, hearing aids or not I might not get what you are saying. AND DON'T Talk WITH YOUR HAND OVER YOUR MOUTH! And while we are on the subject, no my dear I am not looking down your blouse, I don't make eye contact when we talk because I am looking down at your lips!
(so much for being done with my rant )
One last thing, well maybe, when mom gets here hearing aids and doesn't use them is because us hearing challenged folks kind of get used to the quiet of life. The sounds that your minds shut out can be simply overwhelming when fitted with hear aids. Wind noise, the sound of the refrigerator compressor, all those creaks and groans that your car suddenly has can drive a hearing impaired person to the brink. Which is why I can truly understand the deaf communities antipathy towards hearing, who needs it - well ok, I do, but I hope you get the point.
In closing, hearing impaired people such as myself suffer from a physical handicap or challenge if it floats your boats, but just because YOU can't see it or can't imagine what it is like doesn't mean that it is any less of a handicap that many others that I can think of. So if you would never make fun of a person in a wheel chair, someone with multiple dystrophy, a one armed ball guy toting an oxygen bottle, DON'T bloody frack with those who have hearing impairments!
Thank Crankly
Old Catto profound hearing loss at age 30 (they say too much gun fire and too many hours in helicopters, a lot of Hendrix and bad genes will do that to you).
You didn't even touch on the fact that hearing aids, even tests for hearing loss, are not covered by insurance. Or the fact that getting a single hearing aid can cost $3000 and up for those whose hearing loss ranges in the 80+db.
My husband (and others who hear) has trouble answering this question: What's that sound? It isn't because he is being obtuse, it is because his brain automatically tunes it out when it classifies it as not a threat. To those of us with profound hearing loss, we don't have that function. We hear it if it's loud enough but don't recognize it. A sudden clap of thunder doesn't always sound like that to us, especially if we are trying to focus on a conversation.
I tell people that they can hear, but I must listen; one is passive and the other active. What that means is that paying attention to long conversations becomes tiring. It isn't that we don't want to hear it all, we can't. The human's ability to concentrate on speech for long periods of time is limited. It hurts our brains.
Please, use fewer words and try to limit the use of "placeholders" such as "um, like, yanno".
We need captioning on the TV. If we come to visit, and if watching TV is a part of our visit, please understand you're excluding us if you do not enable captioning. I'm so sorry the captioning distracts your viewing or is in the wrong place - take that up with the TV channel people. I never understood why my ENT has TVs on but not captioning - HEY, some of your patients can't hear, yanno?
You didn't even touch on the fact that hearing aids, even tests for hearing loss, are not covered by insurance. Or the fact that getting a single hearing aid can cost $3000 and up for those whose hearing loss ranges in the 80+db.
Oh, you are incorrigible! They are prosthesis my dear, not medical treatment says the insurance industry...
Quote:
We need captioning on the TV. If we come to visit, and if watching TV is a part of our visit, please understand you're excluding us if you do not enable captioning. I'm so sorry the captioning distracts your viewing or is in the wrong place - take that up with the TV channel people. I never understood why my ENT has TVs on but not captioning - HEY, some of your patients can't hear, yanno?
I use a wireless head set, but if I am watching some British TV or movie... for people who claim that have a better grasp of the English language... You'd think that they would learn to freaking enunciate!!
My best analogy to explain what hearing aids are like:
Get in your car. Turn on Jazz music on the Left Speaker. Turn on Rock N Roll on the Right Speaker. Add three passengers and try to have a conversation with them.
IMPOSSIBLE.
It's a nightmare on some days. Can be nightmare all days....depending on many variables.
My DH has to wear hearing aids and we have a bit of a time since I am blind I cannot tell when he has them on. Over the years I have had to speak louder so that he can hear me but when he has his aids on I am just too loud.
My sons think it is pretty funny to have a blind mom and deaf father since we are constantly telig each other to "pay attention". How's that for a kick in the pants?!
Ovcatto - I've been away from City-Data a while, so I've just now come across your post - I just wish I could have responded it to sooner.
First of all, I agree 100% with everything you said - hearing people really don't understand what we go through, do they? As for myself, I was born with a moderate-to-severe hearing impairment, which has very gradually worsened over the years, to the the point of profound hearing loss in both ears, although one is better than the other. I still wear BTE hearing aids, the best money can buy (certainly not cheap!), but as you've mentioned in your post, they do little in the way of restoring "normal" hearing, especially in noisy settings, like restaurants and parties, etc. The problem I have with people is the same as you, them not looking at me when they're talking (lip-reading is the only way I can comprehend human speech these days), and of course, talking too fast, getting annoyed when I ask them to repeat things, etc. And yes, it gets very, very old after a while.
It is little wonder I have my sights on living in the far north woods to live out the rest of my days, as I certainly much rather be with nature than people...LOL. If it wasn't for my life partner who has a big-city job that pays the bills, we'd be dyed-in-the-wool Yoopers already, with my days split between writing and going fishing on a lake all by my freakin' self.
On a slightly different note, I've noticed that in my dreams (been having a lot of vivid dreams lately for some reason) that I can hear perfectly - I don't have to struggle to understand what people are saying, and when I went to see a "dreamy" musical performance, it sounded just heavenly, nothing like I've ever experienced in "real life." Of course, this is probably how the "hearing folk" hear it every day, not ever thinking about how wonderful they have it. Is this typical for the hearing impaired in their dreams, or is it just me?
Melanie, I used to say (back in the day when I was resenting my deafness) that I'd rather lose my vision than my hearing. I don't say that any more; each affects us more than those who can see and hear can possibly understand. I only wish it was possible to see my hearing aids. They are virtually impossible to see even for people with normal vision so you might just do what my husband does: he shouts to me when my aids are in and talks softly when they are out. We actually laugh about it often.
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As for myself, I was born with a moderate-to-severe hearing impairment, which has very gradually worsened over the years, to the the point of profound hearing loss in both ears, although one is better than the other. I still wear BTE hearing aids, the best money can buy (certainly not cheap!), but as you've mentioned in your post, they do little in the way of restoring "normal" hearing, especially in noisy settings, like restaurants and parties, etc. The problem I have with people is the same as you, them not looking at me when they're talking (lip-reading is the only way I can comprehend human speech these days), and of course, talking too fast, getting annoyed when I ask them to repeat things, etc. And yes, it gets very, very old after a while. 
