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You are correct. I'm a little less irritated, and other than her complaining about the lights we get along. I'm going to talk to her over the weekend. Honestly, if I can put up with the dogs, the hiking, the cats, the bees and the crowing roosters, she can shut up about the lights and get curtains.
^^^^See, she is compromising. I know very few people that would put up with this ladies menagerie.
And I commend you for putting up with them all.....so they {the critters} can have a good life.
If you were my neighbor, and you never made a peep about my dogs, cats, bees and roosters........I would be ashamed to complain about your lights, even if they did bother me.
I would just install a pull down, light blocking shade and put up blackout curtains.
If I were in her situation with her husband - I would leave all the lights on and have a motion sensor to alert me to activity in the yard... The lights will aid her in "Acquiring Target" She should probably have police reports to support her actions but well, "good luck"......
Sounds like Kinky has made some concessions. I believe she stated she adjusted the lights and changed the bulbs? At that point, I think she has done all she needs to do. Heck, I;m abotu to tick off my neighbor. We just bought this house and are putting up a new fence. Guess what? According to my survey I can move my fence about 2 more feet towards my neighbors house and I am going to do it. 2 feet may not sound like its worth making my neighbor upset, but 2 feet in the location where it is at will make a huge difference for me (backside of the pool, allows you to actually walk on that side).
Does this mean I am being inconsiderate? I don't think so. Kinky has made some concessions and I think they are enough. She puts up with her neighbor stuff, why shouldn't the neighbor put up with her stuff? Personally, if I was the neighbor I would plant some type of shrub to assist in blocking the light.
My neighbor loves ticky tacky faux street lamps on poles. They started installing them after we moved in and put in a sitting area in the back yard. [EDIT: We were told that they liked our sitting area and wanted to put in one too, which they did, and then they wanted to put in lamps to make the whole place look nice.] They also put in more ground-level landscape lights. The place looks like disneyland. A few years ago we finally put up a privacy fence and also installed a hedge on that side to block the light. I hate it. It contributes nothing to the neighborhood: we live in town and there is adequate lighting in addition to many motion sensor security spotlights on garages & houses along the block. Most of the time they are indoors anyway, gazing out the window at the spectacle I guess. I have considered moving because of this.
I've seen this 'barter' attitude in neighbor relations a lot: that I put up with X so you have to put up with Y. The problem with this is that X and Y are different currencies. The wholesome sound of a rooster in the morning may be a treasured experience that the lady may feel is a gift to the community. So the expectation that the light can stay on to balance the irritation of the rooster is a one-sided point of view; the lady could be thinking that she's been so sharing and open and refusing to turn off the light is rudeness out of nowhere. (That's exaggerated, but it makes the point.)
I try really hard not to justify myself by tallying up the irritations that I absorb when I deal with my neighbors. If something is a real problem, I address it for that reason alone, no matter that they've been dumping ashtrays in my flower bed for the past 15 years - because they dump ashtrays in their own flower beds and it is simply not a problem to them.
The OP has a real need for security, and that shouldn't be under emphasized! We addressed home security as a 'package deal' which includes many brilliant spot lamps with both motion and manual controls as well as alarms, secure windows, etc. I've always taken security very seriously after living in the city. You just never know.
Anyway, there are more useful alternatives than the spotlight, IMO. The OP probably should have someone check the house and make suggestions for proper security. When a light is on all the time it is a deterrent, but a megalight that shoots on when someone comes near is more of one. At least that is the advice we received from our security co.
If I were in her situation with her husband - I would leave all the lights on and have a motion sensor to alert me to activity in the yard... The lights will aid her in "Acquiring Target" She should probably have police reports to support her actions but well, "good luck"......
I have to agree with motion sensors being a good compromise. Having them come on in the night IS a good alert system and one that the constant light won't provide. Besides, security lights (even at 50 ft) can be really annoying if they are pointed at you. I had the same problem with my neighbors at our last house. They kept their back security lights on all night. I had plantation shutters in the bedroom and the light leaked in around the edges and through the slats sufficiently to both keep me awake and wake me up during the night.
I tooks steps to solve it in a nice way. I went to Home Depot and bought the motion sensor for her light. I delivered it with a dozen chocolate chip cookies and the offer to install it for her. During the same visit she mentioned that she'd really appreciate it if I relocated our "poop bucket" away from the fence line closest to her house. The prevailing winds were blowing the smell right towards her house. We didn't know it until she mentioned it and were happy to do this since we don't like to disturb anyone either.
My point in all of this is talk with her - mention your concerns too and see if you can work on a solution that works for everyone. You definately deserve to feel safe in your home but try and find a way that will keep good relations with your neighbor too. Life is too short for so much drama over something like this
According to my survey I can move my fence about 2 more feet towards my neighbors house and I am going to do it. 2 feet may not sound like its worth making my neighbor upset, but 2 feet in the location where it is at will make a huge difference for me (backside of the pool, allows you to actually walk on that side).
Does this mean I am being inconsiderate? I don't think so.
I would absolutely do that. It's a matter of maintaining your property - in PA a property owner can actually cede their land by allowing someone else to use it and not also using it themselves. We routinely walk around on any property that is outside our fence (it's not entirely a perimeter fence due to zoning setbacks) because as soon as the fence went up the neighbors started moving into that space with lawn chairs etc. So this is a case where I hate to be showing up at someone's picnic but we don't want to lose the land. I've heard many interesting excuses for why people were using our property, mostly ignorance in believing that town lots are actually not rectangular but full of jogs
If your neighbor is angry that you are using your own land and they now won't be able to... well, now you know what kind of neighbor you have. I have a friend who came home from vacation last week to find that Mr. AngryNeighbor had stained their new fence and it's only a month old. So they are looking at real property damage and a lawsuit. He told my friend's husband that "that side is his." This is what they are dealing with. I hope your situation is much less difficult!
Heck, I;m abotu to tick off my neighbor. We just bought this house and are putting up a new fence. Guess what? According to my survey I can move my fence about 2 more feet towards my neighbors house and I am going to do it. 2 feet may not sound like its worth making my neighbor upset, but 2 feet in the location where it is at will make a huge difference for me (backside of the pool, allows you to actually walk on that side).
Does this mean I am being inconsiderate? I don't think so.
Ya know - I just don't understand why people do things in a way that will almost always be interpreted as aggressive. Yes if its your land, you have every right to fence it but why not let your neighbor know you are doing it? I also have a couple of questions about your survey. How old is it? Is is supported by actual pins in the ground or landmarks? The only reason I'm asking is because a friend of mine (in Florida) went through a land dispute about 5 years ago and he ended up losing some land AND having to pay the neighbor a settlement for putting a fence up in the disputed area. The kicker of his case was that he was going off an old survey where the "landmarks" were no longer there. Why not just approach the neighbor and show them the survey? That way there are no surprises and no hard feelings.
Why do you assume FKash is being aggressive? Perhaps FKash already knows this person will be mad about it, or is already mad about it, regardless of FKash's data and approach. Who is happy to hear that they are being pushed back behind a fence (except other people who love fences )
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