Oklahoma to (likely Western) Massachusetts - Beginning Research (Boston, Springfield: quality of life, taxes)

[Lettyfinhaden]

Originally Posted by massnative71

And in Mass., co-workers (usually) won't invite you to Bible groups. I spent part of a year working in TN as well, and don't recall it coming up much there either. If they do (and this goes for anywhere), you politely decline and say "it's not my thing". Most reasonable people will then move on, and if not then they are the ones who you might want to keep your distance from. Abortion is a very private matter, and not something one should casually discuss with people they do not know well. Failing to follow these norms will push others away, and make them look down on you professionally. The Northeast is going to be a very bad fit if you are a needy type, or expect your coworkers to double as a social worker for you.

I have lived in the South most of my life. The situation has definitely gotten worse the past few years. Many people aren't really "reasonable" anymore. I don't make assumptions about New England based on my short time there, for obvious reasons; yet that is exactly what you are doing about the South.

Thank you for your advice re: workplace etiquette (I mean this sarcastically). I wouldn't consider myself "needy". Again, these are subjects other people bring up in conversation.

I would suggest the high-handed dismissiveness and utter condescension you are demonstrating here would definitely push co-workers away "and make them look down on you professionally". Pro tip.

[Lettyfinhaden]

Originally Posted by bizcuit

If you think that Northampton may be a good fit for you, post your questions to this forum! There are a few of us who live in town here and can help you get the lay of the land. You might want to post it under a new topic though, so it doesn't get lost in this one.

Thanks! Definitely as we get closer. We're still a couple of years away from a move, just putting out feelers for now.

[Boston_Burbs]

Maybe follow the CT river a bit further north again?

Not cheap either but the Upper Valley region of VT/NH spans between Claremont, NH and Bradford, VT. It is centered around Dartmouth and Dartmouth Hitchcock Medical Center for employment plus offshoot companies. White River Junction is walkable and has public transport to the hospital and shopping. Your parents could live on the other side of the river in NH in say Canaan where they won't be paying a premium for schools.

I grew up in Western, MA and now live in the the Upper Valley and to me though it is smaller, it has a stronger economy due to the Dartmouth "halo" of companies and hospitals. Unfortunately the liberal arts schools in Western, MA don't produce the business' that Dartmouth does.

https://www.trivalleytransit.org/
https://advancetransit.com/
https://www.uppervalleybusinessalliance.com/
https://vitalcommunities.org/

https://realestate.dartmouth.edu/ren...valley-rentals

[Lampert]

Originally Posted by massnative71

I spent part of a year working in TN as well, and don't recall it coming up much there either. If they do (and this goes for anywhere), you politely decline and say "it's not my thing". Most reasonable people will then move on, and if not then they are the ones who you might want to keep your distance from. Abortion is a very private matter, and not something one should casually discuss with people they do not know well. Failing to follow these norms will push others away, and make them look down on you professionally.

Answering "no thank you, I don't believe in Jesus" to someone that is inviting you to a "bible study group" isn't being needy, it's making clear that they don't need to invite you again because you have no interest.

[massnative71]

Originally Posted by Lampert

Answering "no thank you, I don't believe in Jesus" to someone that is inviting you to a "bible study group" isn't being needy, it's making clear that they don't need to invite you again because you have no interest.

Yeah I wasn't referring to that (although the "I don't believe in Jesus" seems a little unnecessary), more so the entitlement to discuss "very" private matters with co-workers. It's a big red flag. Speaking from experience, here.

[GeoffD]

Originally Posted by Boston_Burbs

Maybe follow the CT river a bit further north again?

Not cheap either but the Upper Valley region of VT/NH spans between Claremont, NH and Bradford, VT. It is centered around Dartmouth and Dartmouth Hitchcock Medical Center for employment plus offshoot companies. White River Junction is walkable and has public transport to the hospital and shopping. Your parents could live on the other side of the river in NH in say Canaan where they won't be paying a premium for schools.

I grew up in Western, MA and now live in the the Upper Valley and to me though it is smaller, it has a stronger economy due to the Dartmouth "halo" of companies and hospitals. Unfortunately the liberal arts schools in Western, MA don't produce the business' that Dartmouth does.

https://www.trivalleytransit.org/
https://advancetransit.com/
https://www.uppervalleybusinessalliance.com/
https://vitalcommunities.org/

https://realestate.dartmouth.edu/ren...valley-rentals

For yucks, I ran the Dartmouth College search engine. As expected, you can rent a room for $900. In West Springfield, you can rent an apartment at that price on a bus line with 20 minute service to a shopping plaza 4x bigger than West Lebanon, a mall, and a large-ish city. If you work at Dartmouth-Hitchcock or the University with professional wages and you own a car, it’s certainly a nice place to live. The upper valley has an enormous housing problem. Also, BayState Medical and Dartmouth-Hitchcock are both rated around #100 nationally. I’ve had day surgery at both places. Dartmouth-Hitchcock is certainly more aesthetically pleasing but the level of care is comparable.

[in_newengland]

FWIW, it's not only religious beliefs, it's political beliefs too. I went on a cruise pre covid, almost everyone was from SC because they could just drive to Port Canaveral. I tried to talk with someone because it turned out I had encountered a real "character" once in Tallahassee and this guy KNEW all about him! It was interesting until this person asked me where I was from. Massachusetts.

So he kind of stuck his nose in the air and said, "I don't think we have anything more to talk about."

So much for southern hospitality! They won't even talk to you.

[mdovell]

I don't think people really hit each other up for things other than your usual Girl Scouts and boy scouts stuff and maybe Salvation Army. We don't see people are the airports trying to convert people anymore and fundraisers at schools try to be as apolitical as possible.

Some issues of pretty much been normalized for lack of a better term. You will not going to find that much for social conservatives in New England. When I was living in Springfield I almost walked into holy grounds because I thought they had free coffee. It turns out it was run by Scott Lively
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scott_Lively
Needless to say I didn't go in!
Same-sex marriage was legalized here long time ago marijuana hasn't been criminalized in quite some time, blue laws have been removed. I will say this on religion though. If you go to eastern Mass you're not going to see that much for religious participation. It faded away with time largely due to the free Scandal I was about 20 or so years ago. If you go to Western Mass you're going to see a much more active Church scene mostly because when immigrants came over many of them were catholic so they filled the churches longer.

Increasingly I've gone more to the South. I went to Virginia Beach and frankly I had a pretty good time with no issues, I went to Palm Beach very expensive but no issues I went to Charleston South Carolina very nice. I found out some interesting things there. Basically that a lot of urban areas down south attract more people for work which increases diversity which means you're going to hear less people with the southern accent. If you're looking for your sick accents and your Confederate flags you have to go to more of a rural area. Which also gets back to another theory I have. If you've got a place that is somewhat remote and can tend to have poverty it's either going to gravitate to the far left or he far right. On the far left though try to cling to some identity politics and say that they're being marginalized and need some form of government protection of programs to elevate their quality of life. On the far right they'll cling to Identity politics and blame other forms of people rather than government and that can get very ugly.

[GeoffD]

Originally Posted by in_newengland

FWIW, it's not only religious beliefs, it's political beliefs too. I went on a cruise pre covid, almost everyone was from SC because they could just drive to Port Canaveral. I tried to talk with someone because it turned out I had encountered a real "character" once in Tallahassee and this guy KNEW all about him! It was interesting until this person asked me where I was from. Massachusetts.

So he kind of stuck his nose in the air and said, "I don't think we have anything more to talk about."

So much for southern hospitality! They won't even talk to you.

I’ve experienced that in Alabama and Tennessee. I was in Huntsville quite a bit fairly recently. Once you got away from the affluent tech area, it was like I was from an enemy country. The same is true if you stray outside of metro Nashville. I fortunately don’t have a New England accent but even a neutral American business English accent is treated with suspicion because it means I’m a communist from California.

[massnative71]

Originally Posted by in_newengland

FWIW, it's not only religious beliefs, it's political beliefs too. I went on a cruise pre covid, almost everyone was from SC because they could just drive to Port Canaveral. I tried to talk with someone because it turned out I had encountered a real "character" once in Tallahassee and this guy KNEW all about him! It was interesting until this person asked me where I was from. Massachusetts.

So he kind of stuck his nose in the air and said, "I don't think we have anything more to talk about."

So much for southern hospitality! They won't even talk to you.

Not sure I understand the political connection there?