Forbes Rankings of Boston don't make sense (Harvard: home, high school)

[RLCMA]

So I was reading Forbes online the other day and noticed they ranked Boston as #2 (behind San Franciso) for young professional's, which I can see. Let's face it, Boston is truly a great city with a lot to offer. There are large companies located here, plenty of job opportunities in numerous industries, and in my opinion the best academic institutions in the entire world which in turn makes it a great place for young professional's to stay after graduation. However, I have to disagree with the high ranking of #11 as the best place for Singles. Let's face it, Boston is terrible for Singles and I think it belongs much further down the list than #11.

First off, the young, single people in this city are very self absorbed. I have attended, and still attend to this day, many young professional's and networking events and it's like going to a club. Women come in groups of 2,3, or more and stay in a little pod checking guys out and guys come to these events looking like they're going to Lansdowne Street looking to score. It's just pathetic. It's like being at a Junior High School Dance. Then when you walk up and talk to someone to see what they do or give your their card they look at you like you have 3 heads for approaching them thinking you're worthy of their attention. It's truly pathetic.

Secondly, this city ranked extremely high for Internet Dating compared to other cities. I think the reason is, people feel like they can't approach anyone in public around here. People around here in general are known to be cold and unfriendly. Many people I know have turned to Internet dating and have no luck. Most of the people online have ridiculous expectations of their mate which makes it almost impossible to meet someone of quality. I think women around here have to realize that there are great guys out here who aren't 6' tall or more and who don't look like A&F models with Swiss Bank Accounts. And I think guys have to be less shallow as well. Yes, physical attraction is important but give me a break. People around here are insane with what they want and won't compromise, hence the high amount of single, miserable people wondering why they can't meet someone "nice". The answer is, they're not looking for someone nice. They're looking for a trophy. Plus, most women aren't attracted to nice guys. They're attracted to jerks.

I have lived all over the country and cringed when I found out I was returning to MA, and single to boot. This is by far the worst place to be single in my opinion. I hate to say the quality of people is bad since I'm from here as well, but I think that people are extremely pretentious and shallow when looking for someone to date. I love the amount of events that go on in the city, but the substance of the people is really lacking.

[jayrandom]

I don't think Forbes can quantify most of things you say about Boston's single life, so they can't really include it in their poll. From their perspective Boston has a lot of singles and a lot for singles to do, so to them looks like a great city for singles.

As for dating--I don't know the first thing about it in this town so I can't comment too much. You could look on it a blessing in disguise that most openly display their shallowness (if that's what they do)--because while lots of people are shallow it often takes weeks or months for them to let you figure that out. In Boston, if you meet someone who is friendly chances are good that they are genuinely friendly. If you're looking for a long term partner that will ultimately be to your benefit.

[charolastra00]

That has not been my dating experience in Boston at ALL. Granted, I am a young female who dates almost exclusively Harvard and MIT grad/professional school students- but those are just the people I most come in contact with. The Boston dating scene is great and has treated me well. It's much better than places like Atlanta (which I'm sure is ranked higher on the list).

[LeavingMA]

You have to remember that all most of those rankings are looking at are numbers. So if you factor in the amount of college students in the Boston area (a lot), and then singles (which most college students will be), then it makes it look good. The ranking doesn't factor in quality of women/men or specify an age group.

I've also been to San Fran and if your a single guy I didn't find it that great there for meeting women. I've found D.C. to be really good, San Diego was pretty good, the major Texas cities were quite easy to meet people, and others.

Also, I have nothing against online dating or people who meet others that way, but that shouldn't be factored in to the rankings. It should be about meeting people while being out, not on your computer when you aren't face to face with someone.

[holden125]

Originally Posted by LeavingMA

Also, I have nothing against online dating or people who meet others that way, but that shouldn't be factored in to the rankings. It should be about meeting people while being out, not on your computer when you aren't face to face with someone.

If it's a way that plenty of people are getting dates, why shouldn't it be factored in? I don't take the quality of the singles scene only to be limited to meeting people randomly when out.

It's interesting, as a guy I had an absolutely awful time in DC. One of the reasons I got out of there.

[smarty]

As a male, I admit I'm shallow.

I love generous attractive females. Actually, forget about attractive... smart generous females who wants to treat me like a king.. Love to sit on my couch while she brings home the bacon.

[ChunkyMonkey]

Originally Posted by RLCMA

First off, the young, single people in this city are very self absorbed.

Secondly, this city ranked extremely high for Internet Dating compared to other cities. I think the reason is, people feel like they can't approach anyone in public around here. People around here in general are known to be cold and unfriendly.

Don't these statements depend on which schools you are referring to? Can you make such blanket statements assuming most of the students are local. I would suspect that the majority are from out of state and out of the country with the number of world renown universities in the Boston area.

I believe Boston has the highest per capita student population in the U.S. so maybe you are just unlucky.

[LeavingMA]

Originally Posted by holden125

If it's a way that plenty of people are getting dates, why shouldn't it be factored in? I don't take the quality of the singles scene only to be limited to meeting people randomly when out.

It's interesting, as a guy I had an absolutely awful time in DC. One of the reasons I got out of there.

I understand your logic and like I mentioned I don't have a problem with internet dating other than you could be in the Boston area and "date" someone in Tampa just over the internet. I think the way to see how people really are is in person. I understand internet dating can "weed" out some of the bad dates, but I've had friends that did the internet dating thing and also ended up with some strange women and lots of desperate people.

I just think adding internet dating in these rankings favor areas that are more suburban or urban and who would rather not meet someone in person. I also have quite a few friends in the south who would never do internet dating, while most of the people i know up here don't think its a big deal. So, the rankings still favor certain areas over others.

[RLCMA]

I think people use the Internet a lot up here because their social skills in person are terrible. They're cold and rude. Going to another medium isn't going to change who you are. If you're cold and rude in person, you're going to be cold and rude online.

[holden125]

Originally Posted by LeavingMA

I understand your logic and like I mentioned I don't have a problem with internet dating other than you could be in the Boston area and "date" someone in Tampa just over the internet. I think the way to see how people really are is in person. I understand internet dating can "weed" out some of the bad dates, but I've had friends that did the internet dating thing and also ended up with some strange women and lots of desperate people.

I just think adding internet dating in these rankings favor areas that are more suburban or urban and who would rather not meet someone in person. I also have quite a few friends in the south who would never do internet dating, while most of the people i know up here don't think its a big deal. So, the rankings still favor certain areas over others.

I was thinking internet dating in the sense of getting to know someone initially over the internet over a short time but then meeting them in person, rather than an ongoing thing with someone far away that takes place only online. I agree that you have to spend some time together in person to really build anything.

I think meeting people online is more prevalent in more hectic places where it can be harder to meet people due to their being busy and a general attitude of not having time/being wary of strangers. Sound familiar? I'm sure there are some strange and desperate people out there in cyberspace but that's true in traditional dating situations also.

Actually, my dad, who is now in his 60's, met a woman through an online support group after my mom passed away. She lived far away but within a few months moved in with him. They broke up after a few years and she went home, and he hopped right back on match.com or something after a while passed, and found someone new that he's been very happy with. My dad's very shy in person and he had been 30 years with my mom before she died, so I think without online options he might have spent the last few years lonely.

Originally Posted by RLCMA

Going to another medium isn't going to change who you are. If you're cold and rude in person, you're going to be cold and rude online.

RLMCA: I don't say this to be mean, but to prompt reflexion. Your logic could be flipped on you, as in "If you're negative and abrasive online (as on this board), you might seem negative and abrasive in person." In my long experience in this area, people are reserved and wary around those they don't know. Rightly or wrongly, this is particulary true of young women around guys they perceive as trying to pick them up. It poses a bit of a challenge in trying to meet them, but if you give it the effort, and, say, get involved in activities that give people an opportunity to chat with their guard lowered, a lot of people here are very warm and loyal.

My own social skills are probably percieved as not that sharp when I'm around someone new, but once I'm comfortable I'd like to think I'm chatty, relaxed, generous, etc. It can be frustrating at times but if you just get mad or give up, it will be all the harder to meet people as that will project itself.