Tell me all about Southern Hospitality (Memphis, Columbia: home, landscaping, neighborhood)

[hew2a]

Southern hospitality is real. And having grown up in the South, I love it and hate it at the same time. Here's what I mean. When I visit family in Connecticut, Brooklyn, Manhattan, D.C, Philly... at first I'm put off by how up front and direct people are. I take it as rude at first, and immediately begin to think..."wow, we are so much nicer back home". But then it sinks in that... hey, here it is a faster pace. It's not home. People here aren't being rude, they just don't have time to play games... and butter you up. It's either yes or no. Do you want it or don't you?! Are you going or not?! And after a week, I begin to feel a bit relieved that people are like this. I begin to feel like there isn't "a show" going on. Don't get me wrong, rudeness is rudeness. And it's in the South for sure. But be careful not to confuse this "Southern hospitality" with "fakeness"... something that's VERY prevalent here.

[Tunky]

well said, hew.

It's hard to explain to someone who hasn't experienced other lifestyles.

But, neither is wrong, or bad...they're just different. Sometimes people perceive the NE as rude when really, they're just letting you be.

[LauraC]

Originally Posted by CantWait2Leave

I live in LA with my husband and we are planning on visiting Nashville soon. We cannot stand the rude people, road rage, liberal views, etc... We are Christians who want to be around like minded people. People always say the south is so friendly because of the southern hospitality. What does that mean? Examples? I've never been to the South.

Nashville isn't conservative according to voting data. I'm assuming you picked Nashville because of the airport. Of Tennessee's 4 biggest cities, Knoxville and Chattanooga are more conservative than Nashville and Memphis. Brentwood and Franklin are more conservative in the Nashville area, than Nashville.

[ElliottW]

I don't know about the politics, but people in the Nashville area are some of the friendliest I've met in any city. Also, the cost of living is much lower than that of L.A.

[BP300]

It's a figment of the imagination.

[sumwunzma]

Being a GRITS (girl raised in the south), I thought everyone behaved with manners, welcomed you into their home, poured you a drink, fed you, offered to have you stay at their home. Then I visited the midwest, the pacific northwest, the east coast and WOW, what a difference. Hospitality is making someone feel "at home" in your home. I wouldn't dream of having someone visit my house without offering them a beverage and if it's time to eat, some food!

Be warned, though, around these parts "conservative" can also mean hate-filled, ignorant, and using the bible to beat people over the head. I was raised on the gulf coast, which is far more tolerant and where being "Christian" means trying to live like Jesus did, not judging other people for their shortcomings. With that said, there are tons of good people, too. Most of them are from out of state though.

[Tunky]

I suppose people could go round and round on the topic, but my 35 years in the midwest was surrounded by some of the most truly hospitable people in the world. Visiting someone ALWAYS included "a little lunch", nevermind if you had just eaten a REAL lunch!

[leonard]

Originally Posted by IngleDave

Southern hospitality is a state of mind and a state of being for those of us raised here. In a Wiki sense of definition; don't know, don't care. I know how I live my life and at 56, am really grateful to have been raised as I was. I greet people I don't know with a hello and a smile (unless they have 'that look'). Sometimes, it's very subtle, sometimes we become instant friends, if only for a few minutes. If I'm shopping and see someone struggling with getting groceries into a car, I offer assistance and return the cart to the store for them. I hold doors for both men and women as a rule of courtesy. My life is not so important that I MUST go first with no regard for others. People in lines with less business get offers of moving in front of me with my invitation. If I see anyone at stores, especially garden centers, in a state of puzzlement, I offer my help, often assuming the role of store employee. It's fun, actually. I don't yell, scream and run from solicitors, either on the phone or in person. My friend, who talks to no one without a reason, came to my house one Saturday morning. There I was, covered in dirt from yardwork, talking to two Jehovah's Witnesses who'd stopped by to win me over. That didn't happen, but I enjoyed talking to them as I'm generally in charge of those things while at my house. As they left, I said, "You take care Evelyn and Betty." He couldn't believe I had called them by name. They'd been here no more than 10 minutes. Being hospitable, whether southern or otherwise, is putting yourself in second place when in the presence of someone else. I still say "thank you," "pardon me, please," "no habla espanol, senor," "mam" and "sir" and when I pass someone and say "how you doing"....I wait for a response and don't keep walking. It's an important second of two of time. I actually care how they are (at least long enough for them to think I do). But beware, we're a sneaky bunch and an odd thing about us southerners; even if we don't like you, chances are we'll treat you the same way (well, in most circumstances). Just watch for a cocked eyebrow. In that case, that polite man or woman who's saying "well, bless your heart," could be delivering a much stronger message. One must be cognizant of our body language to know exactly our take on the matter.

All in all, hospitality is rapidly becoming a lost art. There are plenty of practitioners of the art left here in the south and in other regions too. The best thing will be to not look at it as anything to fear, to mock, to make fun of, but to wonder just why you might actually feel better after encountering a certain person who actually shows you respect for the time of the encounter. I do it, and I live it, and I'm a better person for it, and hopefully when people tell me, "you've really made my day", they really mean it. I know it makes me feel right as a person.

That's my take on the matter. I'm a lifelong Nashvillian and southern man. With no fanfare, I'm proud of it.

I will be moving to TN this summer. While I am from Calif and tend to be in a hurry, I also do not expect others to accept that in TN.

To me Southern Hospitality is something I hope to learn and observe. It isn't tied to being born and raised in the South, it is sharing in and continuing the Southern pace of life and attitude, towards friends, neighbors, acquaintances and strangers.

It starts with being polite and respectful.

[dispointd in lex]

Southern hospitality must be a myth there are a few people who were raised right and still practice the ways in which they were raised. I have not experienced it often and when i do i thank the man above, it must be a genrational thing, younger people are not practicing or BEING TAUGHT southern hospitality and i DO NOT believe it is because the south has become a "melting pot" ( i know a jab at "yankees" when i hear it!) I am a yankee who's moved to the beautiful south ( i have read on another post you cannot EVER become a southerner, just 'cause you moved here, unless you are born here and your family roots going back many years)who was raised correctly, am curteous, and helpful and will always flash a smile your way, the minute i open my mouth and my accent comes out, people 'round here tend to lose there smile if they had one on their face at all.Oh and my husband has had 2 people that were definately from here (the south) cut in front of him in a line. What's with people driving or walking all over property here? I did not step one foot on anyones land unless i rang the doorbell and asked them if i could retrieve a lost baseball or frisbee that had landed in their yard. Bad manners and rudeness are everywhere.

[IngleDave]

You have to ask to go get your frisbee? Yikes. Sounds a bit Wild West to me.