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Birth control instead of sloppy procreation (such as never marrying, but having a baby with each guy you're "in love with" as a souvenir of the relationship you know will never last) is the key to solving this problem. Women who are not emotionally and financially ready to raise children should be aware of this instead of living their lives haphazardly and should practice strict birth control (which is cheap and easy to get; getting easier with the new health insurance rules) until they are actually ready to raise children successfully. For some reason, many young women are in deep denial of the true level of responsibility and commitment having a baby requires and fail miserably at raising them.
Not that I'm a fan of abortion, but it has been shown that the legalization of abortion greatly reduced crime due to the children that were never born to dysfunctional, ill-prepared single-mother households. Look up Donohue-Levitt hypothesis if you want to read more.
I agree with many of your statements: There is extensive birth control now, that can be bought in the pharmacy, such as the "one- a-day- pill." However, the cesspool of Hollywood has a lot to do with women having children without the sanction of marriage, and from different boyfriends. Look what is happening right now. Most of them are having the children first, sometimes they married and sometimes they do not. Once the relationship is over in a few years, they go to another one...... These are the role models of our young generation.
A young, undisciplined, ghetto woman reads a People's Magazine, and can see at least four actresses that have gotten pregnant, without the sanction of marriage. This young, ghetto woman does not have the capacity to think of the consequences of having a child because she can barely READ.........has RAISED herself, and does not have a father, a mother looking out for her well-being, or significant others. She is unable to fathom that these Hollywood actresses make bundles of money, and can give their children the best of care, and schooling......so, even though there is not the presence of a father, the child has many opportunities to go through life, and make it on his/her own.
Therefore, there are a myriad of societal pressures impinging on the lives of these ghetto women, and too, too many freedoms available to these dysfunctional, disorganized human beings.....
i don't think people are going to stop having kids,
no matter how poor they are, so keep dreaming.
if they did, more than half of us wouldn't be here
right now. you gotta come up with a better solution
to all these social problems than telling people to
stop having babies.
Birth control instead of sloppy procreation (such as never marrying, but having a baby with each guy you're "in love with" as a souvenir of the relationship you know will .
This is a very antiquated notion. Studies show that most unmarried women do not have more kids than do married women. Indeed many have less, knowing fully well the limitations of not having help in parenting, or income generation. The days that welfare rewarded child bearing is long gone.
Stop peddling in outdated stereotypes. Birth rates among blacks is only marginally higher than it is amongt whites, despite the huge disparity in marriage rates. This is most likely explained by the fact that white women, on average, tend to be older, so are more likely to be past peak child bearing ages.
A young, undisciplined, ghetto woman reads a People's Magazine, and can see at least four actresses that have gotten pregnant, without the sanction of marriage. .....
Another outdated concept. There MIGHT have been a time when welfare payments were increased with each additional birth. This is no longer the case. Indeed most black women WORK, have to pay bills, and are fully aware of the limitations of having too many kids.
The high single parent levels have as much to do with the paucity of suitable husbands who can support a family as anything else.
So yes most women have this maternal need to have kids. Most women arent living in the fantasy land that you think that they are in.
Indeed teenagae birth rates among black women have been DECLINING. Indeed when a girl makes a "mistake" and opts not to abort it, its quite likely that she isnt going to have another child until later.
This is not to say that there isnt a deeply depressed under class who are like this, but this is not true for most black women.
Indeed the bulk of the women I see in NYC with loads of young kids are Mexicans, and I believe that most of them (in NYC) are married.
Another outdated concept. There MIGHT have been a time when welfare payments were increased with each additional birth. This is no longer the case. Indeed most black women WORK, have to pay bills, and are fully aware of the limitations of having too many kids.
The high single parent levels have as much to do with the paucity of suitable husbands who can support a family as anything else.
So yes most women have this maternal need to have kids. Most women arent living in the fantasy land that you think that they are in.
Indeed teenagae birth rates among black women have been DECLINING. Indeed when a girl makes a "mistake" and opts not to abort it, its quite likely that she isnt going to have another child until later.
This is not to say that there isnt a deeply depressed under class who are like this, but this is not true for most black women.
Indeed the bulk of the women I see in NYC with loads of young kids are Mexicans, and I believe that most of them (in NYC) are married.
Carib: I am aware of the Welfare laws. What I am referring to is how vulnerable these ghetto women can be, and since ALL women have at one time or another a maternal instinct, Hollywood is playing on that instinct, thus to have babies before marriage. This is supposed to be the new FREEDOM for women. To do the opposite of what the masses are doing......even at their detriment.
And about your statement about Mexican women: I am not Mexican, but have traveled through Mexico many times, and have studied their culture. Most Mexican women are the best mothers in the world, and most of them have husbands. They sacrifice their lives for their children, who are made the center of their world. They are excellent parents, because both husband and wife have been reared to respect their children's lives.....as well as themselves.
I agree with many of your statements: There is extensive birth control now, that can be bought in the pharmacy, such as the "one- a-day- pill." However, the cesspool of Hollywood has a lot to do with women having children without the sanction of marriage, and from different boyfriends. Look what is happening right now. Most of them are having the children first, sometimes they married and sometimes they do not. Once the relationship is over in a few years, they go to another one...... These are the role models of our young generation.
A young, undisciplined, ghetto woman reads a People's Magazine, and can see at least four actresses that have gotten pregnant, without the sanction of marriage. This young, ghetto woman does not have the capacity to think of the consequences of having a child because she can barely READ.........has RAISED herself, and does not have a father, a mother looking out for her well-being, or significant others. She is unable to fathom that these Hollywood actresses make bundles of money, and can give their children the best of care, and schooling......so, even though there is not the presence of a father, the child has many opportunities to go through life, and make it on his/her own.
Therefore, there are a myriad of societal pressures impinging on the lives of these ghetto women, and too, too many freedoms available to these dysfunctional, disorganized human beings.....
Young white women/teenagers do it too. Morons all. It's not too much to ask for people to wait until they are stable to reproduce instead of breeding like animals in a zoo. I am female. I did it.
i don't think people are going to stop having kids,
no matter how poor they are, so keep dreaming.
if they did, more than half of us wouldn't be here
right now. you gotta come up with a better solution
to all these social problems than telling people to
stop having babies.
I don't stay STOP meaning remain childless their whole lives. I say wait a little longer until you are more stable.
Another outdated concept. There MIGHT have been a time when welfare payments were increased with each additional birth. This is no longer the case. Indeed most black women WORK, have to pay bills, and are fully aware of the limitations of having too many kids.
The high single parent levels have as much to do with the paucity of suitable husbands who can support a family as anything else.
So yes most women have this maternal need to have kids. Most women arent living in the fantasy land that you think that they are in.
Indeed teenagae birth rates among black women have been DECLINING. Indeed when a girl makes a "mistake" and opts not to abort it, its quite likely that she isnt going to have another child until later.
This is not to say that there isnt a deeply depressed under class who are like this, but this is not true for most black women.
Indeed the bulk of the women I see in NYC with loads of young kids are Mexicans, and I believe that most of them (in NYC) are married.
My argument is wait until you're actually a woman instead of living like a child and giving birth with no husband, no career, no home. Having a baby is not like having a doll.
I can personally attest to the aforementioned crab mentality stunting the success of Blacks and Latinos, uneducated or otherwise.
As a Latino growing up in Harlem, I was often singled out and picked on for being a "smart, studious" kid by other kids on my block, who either came from broken homes or cared more for "acting hard" and "street rep" rather than education. They were also bothered by the regular sight of my father, who split with my mother when I was a year old yet remains in my life to this day, taking me out every weekend. A lot of them didn't have a father figure. Keep in mind that I never bothered or provoked them, this was a one-sided rivalry on their part.
The only time I was ever "cool" with them was during a misguided period in my teen years, when I dropped out of HS and started hanging with them (never got my hands dirty with anything, thank god). Soon after I turned 18, I got my GED and decided to go to college. I started keeping them at arms length as they got deeper and deeper into the street life, which I wanted no part of. As a result, I went back to "not being cool" and they began messing with me, so I cut my ties with them completely.
Flash forward some seven years, with me earning my Bachelors next month, some of those same guys from childhood and adolescence are still hanging out on the same stoop, cycling between unemployment and jail, influencing a new, younger breed of thugs on the come-up. They occasionally try to greet me (sarcastically, its more of an intimidation tactic) like nothing's ever happened between us, but I ignore them for the most part. Unfortunately, when and if they want to fight me for whatever unjust reason they have, I'd be outnumbered and defenseless as they love attacking in groups.
I've been working my ass of so that (and I hope it comes sooner rather than later) one day my mother and I could move out of this crab barrel of a block. However, I find myself feeling stunted and oppressed by thugs who resent the fact that I have my **** together.
I might regret writing this post down the line, but this thread, interesting as it is, dug up some of my fears and frustrations as a Latino trying to sift through this ghetto crap in hopes of improving his life, as well as that of their mother's. Does this sound right to anyone here?
Last edited by Raymond Stereo; 12-18-2012 at 05:18 PM..
i don't think people are going to stop having kids, no matter how poor they are, so keep dreaming. if they did, more than half of us wouldn't be here
One of my cousins asked her mom, "Was I a surprise?" Mom's reply, "You were all surprises!"
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