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OP you can't change what you don't acknowledge (sorry Dr. Phil). That being said I really hope this post isn't true. You said you were 17 at the time but how do we know you weren't 18. This whole thread is really giving me bad vibes.Just horrible.
OP, you knew this was wrong, yet you did it anyway. Now the sh## has hit the fan, and the truth is out. You will have to move on with your life, and let your cousin do the same. If a person above the age of consent messes with someone below the age of consent, it IS molestation, whether you want to admit it or not. Your cousin obviously remembers it as sexual abuse, not as two teens experimenting together. Yes, boys can be molested just like girls can. Remember that most 13 to 14 year old boys are immature compared to girls the same age even, so a 17 year old girl should be much more mature.
OP you can't change what you don't acknowledge (sorry Dr. Phil). That being said I really hope this post isn't true. You said you were 17 at the time but how do we know you weren't 18. This whole thread is really giving me bad vibes.Just horrible.
Me too, really bad creepy vibes.... I almost feel like crying...
These parents found out 2-3 days ago and prefer to have no contact with her right now.
I still don't get why we're making them out to be enablers and intolerant religious zealots?
I am just gonna eat my words here now and admit you are totally right.
It has clicked in in my brain now what really happened, and she should leave that family alone FOREVER, Onglett is 100% right on everything she call out there......
Maybe she was abused herself? You are right, this is sinking in now that they weren't just little kids flashing or something like what we did...
I wondered the same thing Misswee. I know if kids have been molested themselves they don't view things the same way. I have an old friend that even into adulthood could'nt admit that the things her brother did to her weren't out of love and just kids having fun. It's very confusing when these things happen in such an unnatural way.
If this story is real, I think the OP is a horrible, selfish person who should do the right thing and never contact this wing of the family except perhaps to apologize.
I say this not because of the sex in and of itself, but because of this:
It seems obvious to me that the cousin was negatively affected by having this sexual relationship - he is so affected he had to unburden himself 15 years later. But the OP does not care about the cousin's mental welfare at all - all I see on this thread is how dare they be mad at me and who cares about the age difference, its nothing and worse of all well he may have been 14 but he wanted it. You are all ME ME ME.
If he is still having problems with what happened today, then obviously he was not mentally prepared for your sexual relationship. You took advantage of him emotionally, even if you didn't realize it at the time. You should be begging for forgiveness, and then you should let it be up to him as to whether you get the chance to reconcile with the rest of the family.
Since this is an outted situation have you now discussed this with your parents so they know whats going on?
My mom is not around and my dad says that because it only happened once, because I didn't get pregnant and because no one contracted an STD, this was a stupid thing that happened over 10+ years ago and everyone needs to get over themselves and move on.
Until your child has been hurt by someone you trusted you will not know. This has nothing to do with religious zealots. It has to do with a betrayal of trust. The OP isn't even mature enough now to realize that this will take time. She just wants what she wants and she wants it now.
She wants her chance to give her side of the story. She seduced her cousin. What's to say. She was 17 and should have known better. Seriously, at 17, she didn't know she shouldn't be doing that with her cousin? Who buys that? If true, she really needs help and won't find it on this board. Is she still sleeping with these young boys?
I have said over and over again that I have given my cousin space since he requested it FOR THE LAST FIVE YEARS and that I'm completely willing to give them as much space as they need now. This whole "I want what I want when I want it" idea is fallacious, I've been waiting for over 5+ years for this whole thing to go away, and I realize I may have to wait even longer.
And don't read "poor me" into that statement, I'm JUST TRYING TO TELL YOU ALL that I have no problem with giving people space.
I didn't "seduce" anybody. That's just ludicrous. I don't think I would have even known how to if I wanted to at 17.
I think part of the issue is that some of you need time to digest what has happened. I have had over 10+ years. I have been in therapy and processed it. I am ready to move on. I would like to fix things if possible with my family, but I realize I might not have that option.
However, them freezing me out is new to me and I need time to get over THAT.
If I can't help my cousin or my family, the only thing left to do is to try to take care of myself. And some of you may not feel I have a right to be in pain that I've lost my family, but it hurts. You can tell me I don't have a right to be in pain, or that I brought it on myself, but that doesn't make it hurt any less.
And thank you to those that left me rep and sent me nice PMs and gave me advice and encouragement in this thread. You help me realize that I'm not alone in my situation and that I'm not crazy to think the way I do. Really, thank you. Every little bit has helped me feel a little better.
And thank you to those that left me rep and sent me nice PMs and gave me advice and encouragement in this thread. You help me realize that I'm not alone in my situation and that I'm not crazy to think the way I do. Really, thank you. Every little bit has helped me feel a little better.
I am not against you either, and I understand how it feels to lose some family..... I can just sympathise for both sides now of this sad story...
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