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LOL. Me too, I NEVER get approached by anyone when I'm in public places. Do you have a secret perfume OP. what the hell.
Same here. I simply cannot relate to this post AT ALL!
And I travel - in this country and abroad.
I have never had such a thing happen.
I also am a Southerner, and anyone who knows Southerners knows we talk to folks in parking lots ("love your shoes! cute haircut! etc) . . . and we talk casually to people while shopping or waiting in line. I mean, not like anyone is getting personal info, lol. All very lighthearted banter.
So it isn't as though I am not sociable and cordial in public. But honestly -- having people approach me with a hidden agenda? Just hasn't happened in the city where I live or in any of the others cities I have spent time in. Ever.
I also am a Southerner, and anyone who knows Southerners knows we talk to folks in parking lots ("love your shoes! cute haircut! etc) . . . and we talk casually to people while shopping or waiting in line. I mean, not like anyone is getting personal info, lol. All very lighthearted banter.
You should post this on the Relationships forum, on the threads about men being too shy to approach women. I keep trying to get this concept accross; if you make light banter a habit, you can approach anyone. But it just doesn't seem to fly in most parts of the north. California, where I grew up, is an exception. I'm glad to hear this custom is alive and well in the South.
You should post this on the Relationships forum, on the threads about men being too shy to approach women. I keep trying to get this concept accross; if you make light banter a habit, you can approach anyone. But it just doesn't seem to fly in most parts of the north. California, where I grew up, is an exception. I'm glad to hear this custom is alive and well in the South.
Interesting that you mentioned California . . . I used to spend a lot of time in the LA area (my husband had an interim position at one time, and we would return over the years for meetings).
I loved LA. I could not believe the way I was treated. I spent most of my time around Santa Monica, Brentwood, Malibu . . . and I would be sitting somewhere on a bench reading . . . having a cup of coffee . . . just shopping! and these random conversations would occur . . . and I ended up getting invited to parties, yoga classes, meditation circles, cooking classes, various art classes . . . people were just wonderful. I had a blast and never once was someone "expecting" anything from me. No expectation for me to underwrite something for them, for instance, or sell me something. I just could not believe the consistently warm and welcoming way I was treated - and it continued - year after year.
I haven't been to LA in several years, but the last time I went . . . it was the same thing. I even got invited to a celebrity gala . . . was GIVEN the tickets, which were $250 a seat.
Oh - and people were so fascinated with my Southern accent. One person I met wanted me to meet a friend of his who was a voice/diction coach so he could speak to a bona fide Southerner, LOL.
I haven't had these experiences at all, not even when I was single and dating - and hanging out quite a bit at Starbucks, I might add.
I'm not an overly trusting person, but I'm also not paranoid. "28 social predators?" Come on, doesn't this OP sound a bit over the top?
I will say, though, that it does seem harder to develop true friendships, and I do blame our dependence on technology and "social networks" for that difficulty. People don't seem to know how to just sit and talk anymore - even when they're doing so, they're eyeing their cell phone and seem distracted.
I'm glad to still have a few girlfriends who enjoy sitting out on the patio in the evening with a bottle of wine, and smack talking!
I could not agree more with every part of your post. OP keeps talking about how people "want something" from her, but is bafflingly vague about what any of those things might be. Not one clue is given.
And use of the very precise number of 28 is odd. Is she keeping score? Is she on the lookout? Documenting incidents?
OP, do you ever feel as if there is an organized vendetta against you? Gangstalkers, etc? Are you a targeted individual?
Now for sure I know I am a social misfit...I eat alone often but nobody has ever "aggressively (done)did his best to pry into my personal business". I hardly am on my phone, I am eating, nor am I reading, I am eating. Nobody comes up to me, hmmm.
I think the media has made the world seem like a worse place than it really is because it magnifies all the bad things that happen, which actually happen less frequently than they used to, but back then, you'd never hear about it.
.
I understand where you are coming from with this, and what you don't know is that I am asexual, having completely lost my sex drive several years back, and so I have absolutely no desire for a sexual relationship at all. That puts me in a rather difficult position, and serves to socially isolate me to a great extent.
(This really should be another thread)
I am not about to enter into a relationship with a man whose needs I cannot meet, or in which I will be obligated in ways I am not willing to be. I just don't have those feelings anymore, but the unwanted pressure from the men never stops, and some of them don't care at all how I might feel about it, only about what they want. (BTW, those would be the creeps.)
So I look to other women for friendships, but thus far it has not worked out, and very often other women immediately try to fix me up with someone, telling me I've just not met the right guy yet, and they have the perfect guy for me, after I've explained it to them!
Believe me, I am quite able to discern the creeps from the decent men, I just don't want any man in that way. I just want to live in peace, have one or two good close friends, and be left alone about sex.
I felt I needed to respond to this because, while not an asexual male, I have placed sex way on the back burner for many of the reasons you started this thread. I don't have any sexual agenda with women because I think people's attitudes about sex today are getting in the way of really understanding someone. All this thinking about sex really dumbs down people and makes them one dimensional so they can't converse at a higher intellectual level. I think I understand why you've become asexual...because your universal need for basic and genuine companionship is not being properly met. It's like Maslow's hyarchy of values pyramid. You've lost interest in the other levels of acheivement, like myself, because society is failing miserably at providing just the basic grounding for successful companionship. People are not properly introduced to each other as friends first so they can form long friendships that acclimatize themselves to each before they get serious.
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Location: Stuart Fl
50 posts, read 77,411 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by anifani821
Same here. I simply cannot relate to this post AT ALL!
And I travel - in this country and abroad.
I have never had such a thing happen.
I also am a Southerner, and anyone who knows Southerners knows we talk to folks in parking lots ("love your shoes! cute haircut! etc) . . . and we talk casually to people while shopping or waiting in line. I mean, not like anyone is getting personal info, lol. All very lighthearted banter.
So it isn't as though I am not sociable and cordial in public. But honestly -- having people approach me with a hidden agenda? Just hasn't happened in the city where I live or in any of the others cities I have spent time in. Ever.
I too am a southerner and yet casual friendly comments are rebuffed but mostly ignored here in Ft Lauderdale. The Iphone has become the casual acquaintance of all generations who use it so catching someones eye to start a conversation is just impossible. Thank you is not followed by you welcome, Hellos are seldome returned. It is an odd evolution of distrust in larger metropolitan cities. And hey I really miss being part of a human community.
To e fair,you probably do no try to make friends outsiide your "comfort zone"
Meaning,do you try to make friends with people of all races,ages,and income brackets?
What about fat people,etc?
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I too am a southerner and yet casual friendly comments are rebuffed but mostly ignored here in Ft Lauderdale. The Iphone has become the casual acquaintance of all generations who use it so catching someones eye to start a conversation is just impossible. Thank you is not followed by you welcome, Hellos are seldome returned. It is an odd evolution of distrust in larger metropolitan cities. And hey I really miss being part of a human community.
