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Well, we'll just have to agree to not eat out together, or invite each other over! No worries, we can't all agree on everything.
(Regarding the travel reimbursement for work, we work for a non-profit, so those of us at Director level and above don't put in for mileage reimbursement, so there will be more inteh bucket for the lower level staff. I just throw it into my unreimbursed work expenses when I do my tax return.)
Seeing as we live nearly 2,000 miles apart we are not likely to cross paths.
I was in a very awkward situation one time when friends invited me to join their dinner group. Once a month, this group of four couples goes out to dinner together. The time they invited me, the one who's my closest friend in the group and who knows that I'm on a budget (the other couples are all white-collar professionals who are very comfortable financially) said that the restaurant they chose is an Italian place that has some fairly inexpensive items on its menu. I accepted the invitation.
At the restaurant, I had one glass of wine and a $10 entree. My portion of the bill should've been less than $20, including the tip.
The four couples ordered two bottles of champagne, as well as wine and mixed drinks. Plus they ordered appetizers and desserts. As it turned out, it was the birthday of one group member, and the dinner club has a rule that when it's someone's birthday, that person and his/her spouse don't pay for their meals that night and the other members of the group split the cost of the birthday couple's meals. The huge bill was split into four (three couples plus lil' ol' me) and my portion of the bill, including an uber-generous tip, was almost $60. Even though the couples all know that I'm single and don't make nearly the money that they make, they looked at me and asked me for my one-fourth of the total bill. I was mortified. But not wanting to cause a scene, I simply handed over the money; lesson learned. Since then, I've turned down several invitations to join them for dinner. Now, I only accept their invitations for casual potluck parties at their homes where we all bring some wine and a dish to share. (By the way, my girlfriend apologized to me later and said she was terribly embarrassed that the group asked me to pay 1/4 of the total tab.)
If there's an obvious disparity in what the parties in a restaurant order, the person or couple whose share is much less than the others' share should not be expected to split the bill evenly.
That's not to say people should sit at the table in a fancy restaurant, calculators out, figuring out to the penny how much each person owes. I just feel that if there's only one check the people who ordered more should be able to come up with a ballpark figure in their head of what they owe and throw in the extra $20 or however much it would take to be fair to the others.
The simple solution is to decide in advance to request separate checks. Most restaurants won't do separate checks for parties of 6 or more, but for 4 people it's usually not an issue.
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WOW, your friends should have had the decency to tell you to just pay your dinner and a little towards the tip. Shame on them.
When DH and I go out with another couple, it's always 50/50. Sometimes, like recently, DH paid the whole bill, but our friends said, next time it's their treat.
When it came time to pay the bill I felt awkward asking the waiter for a split check AFTER the dinner was already over and we put in 2 cards and we agreed to split the whole thing 50/50.
However I ended up paying about $20 more than I should've. Now, I don't want to sound petty and certainly I don't mind actually paying $20 for my friends at all..infact I have picked up the entire check on occasion, I do realize good friends are valuable.. but it's more about being acknowledged that I paid more rather than the fact slipping through the cracks.
It's also something I don't want to make a habit of where the entire excess responsibility always falls on my shoulders because others order more expensive items and I tend to order cheaper ones to stay within budget - which turns out to be counter-intuitive since I end up paying for the excess anyway in a 50/50 split.
Another fact is that some people always seem to lecture others about how they should NOT be cheap yet they themselves are tightwads...many of the people I have gone to lunch/dinner with don't put enough money to cover tip/tax etc. for their items and the bill is then short. Either people need help calculating their share because they are so poor at math or they are trying to be cheap themselves!
Sorry for the long rant How do you guys handle check splitting etiquette. Do you let small amounts $10-20 just slide? Would you bother only about an excess larger than a particular amount?
How do I handle it? When my wife and I go out with others, we simply pay for our own items plus tip, period.
I agree, people who have real class will speak up and say "oh I had three drinks and an appetizer, I need to pay more".
I was in a situation once where I had a burger and a soft drink, it was about 10 people. The one who ordered several drinks, an appetizer and a steak did a "let's just split the check".
I believe my burger, soft drink, and tip cost me about $50.
That's not right. And in my experience it's always the people who really ran up the bill are the ones eager to split it...LOL.
In my considerable experience dining out, I've noticed that the people who complain about not splitting evenly are ALWAYS the ones with the highest tab. Funny how that works out. And then you are the cheapskate for not subsidizing their tab. It doesn't take a math genius to do the simple addition necessary to calculate who owes what.
You will never get even with people like this I've learned. The next time you dine with them if you try to run up a higher tab they suddenly discover they forgot to bring enough to cover their share.
Anyone who runs up double the tab and expects you to pay an equal amount is NOT a friend, they are a user and should be avoided. Let someone else pay for their meals.
Trust me..there WON'T be a next time after this. Yes, I have been out in a group and that one who magically "lost" or forgot his or her wallet. I/we stopped hanging out with people like this a long time ago. I'm not one to quibble over a few bucks. In fact, I will offer to pick up the tab for a few close friends when I can.
What I don't like is when you have that ONE or two in a large group who decide to take advantage of everyone and they know it. Those aren't friends at all.
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Even though the couples all know that I'm single and don't make nearly the money that they make, they looked at me and asked me for my one-fourth of the total bill. I was mortified. But not wanting to cause a scene, I simply handed over the money; lesson learned. Since then, I've turned down several invitations to join them for dinner. Now, I only accept their invitations for casual potluck parties at their homes where we all bring some wine and a dish to share. (By the way, my girlfriend apologized to me later and said she was terribly embarrassed that the group asked me to pay 1/4 of the total tab.)
Shame on them.
How do you guys handle check splitting etiquette. Do you let small amounts $10-20 just slide? Would you bother only about an excess larger than a particular amount?
