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to put it very bluntly... yes you should go get the darn thing if it means so much..why worry about money for gas or shipping when your peace of mind is at stake...you sound like your parents, don't want to be inconvenienced in any way...a 2 hour ride is nothing compared to all the worrying you've been doing, compared to all the dredging things up that you've been doing...and another thing, it's an object that can be replaced, you seem very attached to an object. Sure, it can be nice to have it but what did you do before your husband got you it? It's not good to attach such value to an object, what if someone broke it? would you ever forgive them? just sayin'
I feel like coming over there and stepping on it to show you it's an object that can be replaced.
I got very nervous reading your original message....anyone else? all this frantic family drama stuff over an object! What if something serious happened? good grief! you are your parents, seriously..unless you are just playing here on this forum..
Never thought I'd say this, but is it possible to close this thread? I find it amusing and sad that people continue to comment on the last page WITHOUT having read the ENTIRE thread. Fine, you got nervous reading the original message...did it occur to you to read the 12 other pages, of which the OP posted NUMEROUS times? I'm curious why you chose to this...I think you could've saved the diatribe if you had some forethought here.
Yeah, what I've found is people like this live in a very different reality. Logic & reason do not apply. I wasted decades of my time before I figured that one out. Now I don't bother trying to convince them, I change a topic to one the person is fascinated by and they can feel they are an "expert" on. Usually does the trick.
If it helps any, I can relate a similar story. One of my mother's cousins, we'll call her Mimi, is also like this. She started an argument with me about poultry storage. I had a lot of turkey left over from Christmas so I was going to freeze the cooked meat to use later. She started trying to tell me how unsafe it was and how I was wrong to do so. I calmly explained she was probably thinking of re-freezing a turkey after it was thawed before it was cooked (which I think is recommended against or at least was at the time). She kept arguing the point, getting louder.
I checked with several other friends, including one who was at one time a registered dietician at one point and supervised meal prep at a hospital. They all confirmed I was correct including the registered dietician friend.
I call up Mimi to let her know, saying I checked with someone who is a registered dietician. She starts yelling that I'm wrong, my friend's wrong and I'd better never serve her anything like that (cooked meat which has been froze and then reheated).
Several days later, someone in her office with no expertise in food prep or handling said, "no your cousin's right, you can refreeze cooked meat". After that, she conceded the point to me. When she was in "danger" of being embarrassed in front of her co-workers, she was able to admit it, but not when I clearly had the information and from a friend who had expertise in it. She was too invested in saying I was wrong.
I've been in the scapegoat in my family & unfortunately repeated that experience in a couple of workplaces. Unfortunately, when someone's the scapegoat, the person targeting you & their enablers/apologists won't take much of what you have to say seriously. In both my family of origin & those workplaces, I've made suggestions or observations. Only to have them ignored. Then other people say the same thing, they get credit and praise for a great idea. Thankfully, in a few cases, people noticed and said, "hey you just said the same thing" It helped reassure me I wasn't crazy.
The flip side is they'll blame you for things which have no blame. Another example from my family, I made the mistake of going along with my mother instead of taking my own car to the nail salon when I got my nails done on the day of my brother's wedding. My mom was more familar with the area and I have a tendency to get lost in unfamiliar places.
She gets lost. The thing is, the place is in a shopping plaza. We're in the right shopping plaza, we just don't see the salon from the car. Mom does a complete freak out over being lost and starts driving on the parkway out of the plaza in a panic. I figure out let's just call the place and see where they're near. As I'm dialing 411 & being transferred to the salon, she starts screaming I'm using the "wrong" phone. It's my phone, I get a certain limit of 411 calls with my plan, so it's not costing me anything and it seems to me to be the quickest, easiest way to find the number and not distract my mother from driving. I'm apparently supposed to use her cell because I can re-dial the number from there. Nevermind that it's a different model than mine and I have to figure it out. She's so loud, I can't hear the person at the nail salon, so I have to hang up on my phone & then use hers to placate/appease her. The salon person tells me they're near Super Cuts, which I remember seeing in the plaza. So we drive back to the plaza, spot Super Cuts and the nail place is right next to it.
It actually took longer to resolve the problem because of her screaming and insisting I use her phone, the "right" phone vs. my phone the "wrong" phone. And it was a simple solution. If I'd been driving, I just would have pulled over into a spot with the parking lot and called. I'm not sure what the point of driving the car onto the parkway when she was confused and angry was (she was 62 at the time, so I don't think there was any aging related problem, it's the way she reacts to stress). It didn't solve anything and driving when distracted and emotional like that can cause an accident. She was freaking out so badly over being "lost", you would have thought we were the Donner party and winter was setting in. Instead of a mere phone call away from finding the right place. It also put more strain on our relationship to have her yelling at me like that.
In addition to letting the arguments go because it's not even worth taking the time to respond, I've also learned to limit what I tell them (the ones I'm still in limited contact with) about my life. They love to turn anything negative, any disappointments into it being your fault. If they don't have that information, it's a lot harder for them to do so. If you're not already limiting information to them, in addition to not expecting anything from them, you may want to start doing so.
OMG - we live parallel lives! Reading this had me laughing out loud!
to put it very bluntly... yes you should go get the darn thing if it means so much..why worry about money for gas or shipping when your peace of mind is at stake...you sound like your parents, don't want to be inconvenienced in any way...a 2 hour ride is nothing compared to all the worrying you've been doing, compared to all the dredging things up that you've been doing...and another thing, it's an object that can be replaced, you seem very attached to an object. Sure, it can be nice to have it but what did you do before your husband got you it? It's not good to attach such value to an object, what if someone broke it? would you ever forgive them? just sayin'
I feel like coming over there and stepping on it to show you it's an object that can be replaced.
I got very nervous reading your original message....anyone else? all this frantic family drama stuff over an object! What if something serious happened? good grief!
you are your parents, seriously..unless you are just playing here on this forum..
By the way - I just talked to my parents, who were happily driving along the DREADED INTERSTATE HIGHWAY for at least an hour, on the way to Hot Springs, Arkansas. WAY TO GO, DAD - WAY TO VIOLATE YOUR OWN PRINCIPLES! Without a bit of encouragement by me, I might add.
OMG, these people stress me out.
Then he had the audacity to ask me to meet them up there (a five hour drive for me) next week so I can help them pick out some vacation property. This also would mean that I would have to board my dogs - at my expense.
This, for people who cannot be bothered to make a three minute pit stop to pick one item up for me - on the way to my house.
Seriously had to make an account to post this because I just couldn't believe it. I had to go back to the first page to confirm your age, and despite your assumption that you are in your 50's, I can confirm that you are in fact a 16 year old girl who just got told that she has to be home by midnight. Because no respectable adult would spend so much time complaining about such a trivial thing. Hope you got your Kindle, now please clean your room.
Seriously had to make an account to post this because I just couldn't believe it. I had to go back to the first page to confirm your age, and despite your assumption that you are in your 50's, I can confirm that you are in fact a 16 year old girl who just got told that she has to be home by midnight. Because no respectable adult would spend so much time complaining about such a trivial thing. Hope you got your Kindle, now please clean your room.
I would be willing to bet money that you have a family member who drives you completely nuts - because most people do. Even normal people. Even 50 year old women.
You - like a few others on this thread - have completely - COMPLETELY - missed the point. This is an indicator of YOUR emotional maturity, or lack thereof. So please refrain from throwing stones.
By the way, you felt compelled to actually create an account to post a sarcastic comment on a forum (which is TRULY a waste of time on something trivial), so I wouldn't be so quick to judge if I were you.
What point did I miss? That your family is dysfunctional? That you enjoy the drama? That you're jealous of your brother who got to stay with the parents for free? If you put your life's miseries on CD, you're liable to get some answers you don't like. I have not missed "the point", you just don't like what I'm telling you, you only like the posts where people agree with you and say what you want to hear...as Gilda would say "nevermind"
What point did I miss? That your family is dysfunctional? That you enjoy the drama? That you're jealous of your brother who got to stay with the parents for free? If you put your life's miseries on CD, you're liable to get some answers you don't like. I have not missed "the point", you just don't like what I'm telling you, you only like the posts where people agree with you and say what you want to hear...as Gilda would say "nevermind"
I do not "enjoy the drama." It bothers me and I prefer some distance from it.
I am not "jealous of my brother who got to stay with the parents for free." In fact, I feel sorry for him, because he is DEFINITELY more jacked up and unhappy than I am with life in general - and pitifully dependent on my parents, who alternate between spoiling him and being furious with him. There's a big difference between "being jealous" and "being irritated" or even "being frustrated" or "being hurt."
Your disagreement with me doesn't bother me, or cause me a moment's consternation - so I certainly wouldn't say that I "don't like what you're telling me." I simply disagree with it - which is not the same thing at all.
So - I'd say you've missed quite a few points along this thread.
For the record, I am generally a very joyful, energetic person who enjoys life to the hilt. That doesn't mean that I'm not frustrated or hurt by my oblivious and odd parents occasionally - and when that happens, yes, it does dredge up some frankly pretty awful memories. You know what I do then? I vent. Better to vent on a forum like this, or with a couple of girlfriends over a bottle of wine on the back porch with the dogs at our feet (preferable to this forum now that I think of it!) - rather than duking it out with my immediate family.
I feel better afterwards, in spite of those who may disagree with me - or even insult me anonymously. I don't let comments from complete strangers get under my skin.
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