"You can't reason with Crazy"

[LexusNexus]

Originally Posted by silverwing

I try to wield compassion towards people with mental health issues but do not willingly incorporate them into my life. Not after having grown up with a BP person who self-medicated with alcohol. My siblings and I had horrific childhoods because of their behavior and ended up seeking therapy as adults to recover from that hell.

These days, that parent is sporadically on meds but we remain detached, even though we are guilt-tripped with the phrase "you always thought I was an awful parent!" My reply: "yeah, you were. No child of 8 years should have to run to the neighbor for help because their parent slit their wrists in front of their kids. I know you couldn't help it at the time and I'm willing to be around you now and help look after you (they are in their 70s) , as long as you take your medication. Just don't expect a close parent-child bond. No such thing was forged when we were children. As adults, my siblings and I are sorry for you; you can't help having this disease; but now is our time to be happy and have good lives."

Mental illness is not something a person wants to have, but those involved in their life save their own sanity with a big dose of detachment.

I have a great deal of compassion for people who are mentally ill. My latest contact is one which I described in the Mental health section of C-D earlier this year. I had befriended a woman who likely had BP and other undiagnosed, untreated mental disorders. She was struggling severely. She is 52 years old and has been cutting herself for 40 years. She was likely sexually abused when she was a child, as well as physically abused, and neglected. She struggles today with sexual trauma. She has a history of troubled relationships, which likely included a great deal of physical and emotional abuse. She believes she only has 16 more years to live because some guru told her this when she was younger. Her mood swings are swift and severe. Her new Age beliefs appear to be a manifestation of her illness. There was so much more, but I ultimately made the decision to abandon the friendship to save my own well-being.

I concluded that such people should be dealt with strictly by professionals if they are ever fortunate enough to admit they have a problem and be receptive to treatment. I wish her well and I hope that she does not ultimately take her own life.

Kudos to you for surviving. I have an idea what you went through.