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Have you ever thought that this is a test? if your marriage is a bit rocky he may want to see if you'll do something for him without any benefit to you to see if you are really invested in this relationship.
Just say, No, and leave the matter of getting the house rented to your husband and his sibling.
[seems simple enough]
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilac110
His house, his problem, is how I would look at it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Checkered24
If he bought his share of that house while you two were married, it is property of the marriage and not just his. It was wrong of him to make such a huge financial decision without your input, but thats all water under the bridge at this point.
Fact of the matter is that the two of you have ownership of the house, and responsibility for it's care and management.
If you really do not want to help with this house, then draw a line in the sand and tell your husband you will have nothing to do with it. However, that will not mean he can just walk away and likely will do nothing to help repair your marriage. He is likely stuck with the obligation unless the other co-owners buy him out, or all agree to sell it outright.
My suggestion from a relationship standpoint is to accept that at the present time, you and your husband have a large financial commitment to the property and due to the lack of help from the other co-owners, also have the upkeep and management obligation for the property. So instead of focusing on how you arrived at this point, focus on how to work together as a team to get through the present needs of the situation, and then on how to resolve it long term to the satisfaction of both of you.
Depending on the complete situation these are all excellent points.
There are so many unknowns.
Is this a couple of hours a month "help out in a pinch" responsibility or is it a 10 to 15 hour a week house repair/upkeep each and every week, that the real owners are forcing a non-owner to complete.
Are the sibling & sibling in law just "dumping the work" on the OP or are they first calling her names (gold digger) and the saying to themselves Nay Nay Nay Nay Nay Nay "We are doing to make YOU do all of the work but we own the property and get all the profits!"
Are the sibling & sibling in law even in the area so that they could do the work or did they always assume that OPs spouse would happily do 100% of the work for 33% of the benefits/profits?
In my family, FAMILY owned property never goes to a spouse (ie, it is NOT, ever community owned property), it only goes to children of the dead family member never to a spouse or ex-wife or live in girlfriend or temporary boy toy or who ever (but that is what my parents and my siblings decided---other families may do it differently). In our family, only family members do the work because we are the ones that actually own the property. Why did we do this? We had read so many horror stories of Great-Grandpa's farm having to be sold because some grandchild's third wife wanted the cash and not the 100 year family heritage of keeping the farm in the family.
I can't think of too many married couples I know where if one spouse bought the a freaking HOUSE without the other's approval, that the other spouse wouldn't be livid.
Frankly, I think you should call a family meeting and say, "You guys created this mess. I was never on board with this plan to begin with. You guys get to clean it up since it was your business venture together. This is my end of involvement in the matter."
Hopefully they can just come to an agreement to sell it, or at least the other siblings can buy out your husband's portion.
Why does your husband need your approval to buy a house with his family members? Correct me if I am wrong, I am under the impression that he used his own money to buy this property. It is not like he is using the money in your joint account.
My brothers and I own properties together. They bought them for me. It is none of other people's damn business. Plus, half of anything accumulated after marriage belongs to the spouse anyway, why are you bitching?! Do you guys have a prenup?
My bro bought many rental properties for his wife and he also bought couple rental for my parents. we also have family business. My sister in law was NEVER once jealous, or told him not to taking care of his family. Dude had a family before he was married, you know. When my bro was in the hospital fighting for his life, he could definitely count on me for renting out his properties, taking care of his son, etc. My sister in law was too busy taking care of my brother. We all helped her out because she is a family!! My sister in law trusts my brother 100%. His money is her money, her money is his money. They are a team! However, my brother can buy whatever he wants, whenever he wants, sometimes, investment needs to be diversified. Your husband only bought one property with his siblings, and you are pissed! What the hell!
There is a reason why his siblings call you gold digger. I am not trying to attack your character, but sometimes, you really need to reevaluate your own behaviors and see if you have done something wrong. You are the one who wants to flirt with somebody in order to get a job, and now you are bitching about his investment decision? Come on, let's play fair here.
I am sure your husband has bought many things for you, isn't that enough? Your user name says it all , angry millionaire. Not sure if you are really a millionaire but you are certainly angry!
p.s. Managing a lousy rental property temporarily is not hard work. You can ask your husband and his siblings to pay you 10% of the rent in order to manage that property if you want to make it a business transaction.
Yes there is a prenup.
When you ask me why a man I'm married to needs approval to use his own money. It might be ""his"" but I would equate this to him being marrried and still swinging ""his"" penis to other women. It might be ""his"" but IMO marriage means you are accountable to the other person. So using your logic I guess you allow your husband to use ""his"" penis to have sex with other women? I would think not!
I can't think of too many married couples I know where if one spouse bought the a freaking HOUSE without the other's approval, that the other spouse wouldn't be livid.
Frankly, I think you should call a family meeting and say, "You guys created this mess. I was never on board with this plan to begin with. You guys get to clean it up since it was your business venture together. This is my end of involvement in the matter."
Hopefully they can just come to an agreement to sell it, or at least the other siblings can buy out your husband's portion.
What a mess.
Thanks !! This!
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When my bro was in the hospital fighting for his life, he could definitely count on me for renting out his properties, taking care of his son, etc. My sister in law was too busy taking care of my brother. We all helped her out because she is a family!! My sister in law trusts my brother 100%. His money is her money, her money is his money. They are a team! However, my brother can buy whatever he wants, whenever he wants, sometimes, investment needs to be diversified. Your husband only bought one property with his siblings, and you are pissed! What the hell!
You can ask your husband and his siblings to pay you 10% of the rent in order to manage that property if you want to make it a business transaction.
