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I've always wanted to fly sometime to a country, like Thailand, for Christmas, where there's no reminders whatsoever it's Christmas. There was a period where I flew down to Tijuana, Mexico for Christmas, as the Mexicans celebrate Christmas 12 days later than we do, and spent Christmas drinking Especiales and Tecates in the Zona Norte/red light district!
My loneliest Christmas's were spent with family. I'm now 1600 miles away from all those lonely occasions.
I've had a Mexican roommate for 14 years now, who has become one of the best family members I could ever ask for. And that's who I'll be spending Christmas with this year, and my beloved ferret!
Haven't spent a Christmas/Thanksgiving with family since 1992, and I can only imagine what a gathering would be like today, given the 20 years in advanced technology.
Cousins, nephews, great-nephews, nieces, great-nieces all concentrating on their Ipads/cellphones, and dare you interrupt them!!!!
I moved 1,000 miles away from all my friends and family in July. This will be my first ever Christmas 100% alone. Wanna know something? I am soooo excited. Seriously. I cannot wait to open my gifts, alone. To sit back, drink some hot chocolate, watch tv or read a book, ALONE in the PEACE and QUIET!!!! Christmas, and all holidays actually, have since been ruined by my accommodating mother and my two loud, screaming, crying, yelling, non-stop action nephews.
Will I be alone? Yes, thank gawd. Lonely? Not in the least.
Oh, and I have gotten an invitation, but have declined, because they have two little boys (about my nephew's age) and I just want to be alone, reveling in the quiet. Maybe I'll build a nice fire and read a book. Yeah, that sounds like a plan.
Sorry, not all people that are alone are isolated, lonely, and feeling sorry for themselves. Some of us revel in being alone because it's better than being around people you don't want to be around, but feel obligated to do so. Having no obligations, to anyone, is absolutely freeing!
For Christmas, I only get 2 days off during the middle of the week, and for New Years, 1 day, so I don't really want to travel to my parents house. I'm actually looking forward to sleeping in, relaxing, and doing whatever I want and that includes staying in my PJ's all day if I want. If I feel lonely or isolated (not likely), I can visit with friends.
Do any of you only feel lonely when you're among others but not at all when you're actually alone? I would feel more alone among family I don't connect with than spend Christmas Day alone. How about you guys?
Do any of you only feel lonely when you're among others but not at all when you're actually alone? I would feel more alone among family I don't connect with than spend Christmas Day alone. How about you guys?
Most definitely.
Since the holiday's have become all about my nephews, I wondered why I was even there. I'm not big on kids and they basically wear me out (the screaming, yelling, noise, arguing, punishment from parents, constant actions, etc). Over the years, I started feeling more and more lonely at my family get togethers. There's just no one to interact and talk to, without constant interruption from the kids.
I'd much rather be alone and not lonely, than in a house full of people and feel lonely. As I tell people, the worst kind of relationship, is when you feel alone/lonely even though someone is there with you.
I prefer to see relatives singularly, even if it's once every 5 years, and make that one time memorable!
I hadn't seen my brother in years, and being that he had never been to NYC, we arranged to meet in NYC, back in 2008, for 3-4 days. What memorable times we'll never forget!
I'm going to have my niece, who I haven't seen since 2004, fly out here sometime, rent a car and show her southern Utah!
You just can't have that kind of quality, memorable times at a Christmas/Thanksgiving gathering!
Your first mistake is thinking that everyone who is alone is "isolated and lonely".
Your second is that everyone celebrates Christmas.
If you personally know people who are, indeed isolated, lonely and in need of some Christmas cheer, why not invite them to join you in your celebrations?
Great posting! There are many who live alone who never feel lonely and are quite content to spend the holiday, or any day for that matter by themselves.
Since the holiday's have become all about my nephews, I wondered why I was even there. I'm not big on kids and they basically wear me out (the screaming, yelling, noise, arguing, punishment from parents, constant actions, etc). Over the years, I started feeling more and more lonely at my family get togethers. There's just no one to interact and talk to, without constant interruption from the kids.
I'd much rather be alone and not lonely, than in a house full of people and feel lonely. As I tell people, the worst kind of relationship, is when you feel alone/lonely even though someone is there with you.
I can totally relate to this. I'm supposed to be going back to my country of birth this Christmas to spend time with family and while I'm looking forward to being back there, I am dreading having to sit at the Christmas dinner table with them. Once you become an adult Christmas doesn't feel the same anymore. It seems to be all about families and children and I don't really like being around small children either.
Being alone and being lonely are 2 different things. I can be alone at home with a book or some music and not even think about loneliness. Being among a group of people and feeling left out makes me feel lonely.
Location: On the "Left Coast", somewhere in "the Land of Fruits & Nuts"
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Originally Posted by STT Resident
I'd venture to hazard a wild guess that your being ostracized has far less to do with your not financially helping out your sister than with your judgmental and highly critical persona which runs very clear in every thread you start.
That may well be, though in fairness, you've also mentioned having very little money yourself, yet a huge weakness for "strays". And even "judgmental and highly critical" folks have a right to enforce their own "boundaries", and quit enabling others to play the "victim".
BTW, funny how we're a culture that likes to pride itself on our "freedom", despite a lot of not-so-subtle 'pressures' all around us to conform, including all the flag-waving, rah-rah kinda "patriotism" (which helped push us into Iraq, among others), all the celebrity and sports mania ("how 'bout them Broncos, Miley Cyrus, whatever!"), "family life" ("what, you don't have any kids, family, relatives, etc. nearby?"), "religious" types (especially with their 'war on xmas' nonsense), animal nuts (who often act like they and their 'mini-me' are "entitled"), and of course the ever-relentless "Holiday Cheer Police", who assume that everyone who doesn't share their 'Thomas Kinkade' POV, obviously has to be some sort of loser or misfit (now that's being 'judgmental and critical')!
Sometimes folks have perfectly good reasons for going their own way, and just wanting to be left the hell alone, and we should respect that, instead of finding excuses to project our own needs and fears onto 'em (bah-humbug… LOL)!
Last edited by mateo45; 12-13-2013 at 06:38 AM..
Reason: spell..
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If I feel lonely or isolated (not likely), I can visit with friends.
