is it really that weird to live with your parents even though you have a full time job? (dysfunctional, money)
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I landed a job right after college that pays an ok salary for my area (60k/year in metro Atlanta). The job is around 10 minutes away (w/o traffic) from my parent's house. The cost of living in the city my parents live is fairly high (the average family income is like 140k/year to give you a reference) and the city my job is located has an even higher rent. I don't want to spend most of my salary on rent. I could live in a cheaper area, but it will be a lot more in commute time.
My parents have more than enough room for me (it's a 5 bedroom house and there's also a mother in law suite - and I'm an only child).
I told a few people about my plan, and they told me it was weird and that I was acting like a spoiled brat. I don't know, I'm still going to do it, but is it really that weird? I read that a lot of people my age (21) are still dependent on their parents/will live with their parents after college.
I don't think it's weird. I lived with my Mom while I was in college. After I graduated I obtained a full-time job and for a few years afterward I still stayed with my Mom. I paid rent but it was really low. It was about $100/month until she raised it 50% and then I was paying $150!!. For comparison, her house payment was about $300/month.
Anyway, during the time I stayed there, I paid-off all my debts. School loans (which wasn't high compared to what a lot of people borrow), car loan, credit cards, everything. When I moved out, I was 100% debt free and had enough saved for a down payment on a house.
As long as you pay rent, help with the bills in some capacity, are responsible around the house, etc., I don't see the problem.
well if google, mercedes, etc manage to get their way, we can automate the jobs that bus drivers, truck drivers, etc have. they don't actually make the world work. The engineers who made the cars and the middle manager who did the math to figure out how to max profits make the world work.
Teachers make on average 60k/year. Assuming 2 teachers get together, that's like 120k/year combined salary. If they have like one child, it's not hard for them to send the kid to college.
Also, are you really advocating grocery store clerks to have children? Why do you want someone who is making min wage to have children? You can't support yourself on min wage. How is having a child a good idea?
Like, apparently all that free college education didn't do too much to like help you when it comes to like communication skills and all that.
I know grocery clerks who express themselves better - and whose opinions of how the world works are a lot less disturbing.
well if google, mercedes, etc manage to get their way, we can automate the jobs that bus drivers, truck drivers, etc have. they don't actually make the world work. The engineers who made the cars and the middle manager who did the math to figure out how to max profits make the world work.
Teachers make on average 60k/year. Assuming 2 teachers get together, that's like 120k/year combined salary. If they have like one child, it's not hard for them to send the kid to college.
Also, are you really advocating grocery store clerks to have children? Why do you want someone who is making min wage to have children? You can't support yourself on min wage. How is having a child a good idea?
And one more thing - when I had three children, I was working for minimum wage at a convenience store. I knew I was not in a great place, and I was determined to better my life...and I did. Lots of people are stuck in temporarily bad situations, but they know the way out and they know they're getting out.
According to your belief structure, I didn't have any business having kids. I think they'd beg to differ with you. By the way, they're all doing really well - and now I have seven grandchildren - and two of my four kids haven't even had kids yet so I'm pretty sure our brood will grow. WE'RE TAKING OVER THE WORLD!
Generally, I don't think there's anything wrong with adult children living with their parents as long as all are in agreement. It's a good way to save money and help each other out.
But if you're going to do that, you need to be at the very least paying for your gasoline, cell phone, car insurance, clothes, etc. And do your share of cooking, cleaning and errand running. Under those circumstances, you are adults sharing living space in an arrangement that benefits everyone. If your parents are paying for everything and you only shop with your mother, then you are an overage child living with your parents. There's a difference.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marlow
The OP has been to college, which her parents paid for. She's contemplating going to grad school. She says that not only will she be living with her parents, whose world revolves around her, but that they will insist on paying for all of her personal expenses (gas, phone insurance clothing) even though she'll be making $60,000 per year.
As I said above, it's one thing for an adult child to live with parents and act like a responsible adult, but it's another thing for an adult child to live with parents and still be treated as a child. The first circumstance makes sense on a lot of levels, the second seems strange and oppressive.
Quote:
Originally Posted by dblackga
My young adult daughter (23) lives at home. She's a blessing to us -- she works full-time, she likes to cook, she does her own laundry, she is actually far neater than I am, keeps the kitchen tidy, she helps walk the dogs, always asks if we need anything from the grocery store, etc., etc. I will miss her sunshine and enthusiasm dreadfully when she moves out. She's anxious to get her own apartment, but realizes that, financially, it makes more sense to live at home for a little while and build a bit of a nest egg. We don't charge her rent, but she does take care of her own needs/wants. We sat down and worked out a budget the other day for an apartment -- things like renters insurance, cable, electricity, etc., etc. She is extremely mature -- she lived on her own in college, worked and graduated (with honors) in four years. I'm not worried about cramping her emotional growth. :-)
Our daughter recently moved home as well, as she was not able to find a job paying well enough to support herself in the metropolis where she attended college. She is very similar to dblackga's daughter. She does her own laundry, does her own grocery shopping and cooking, helps clean, helps with household chores such as loading walking the dog. In addition, she continues to buy her own food, personal items, clothes, pay her own expenses and does lots of wonderful extra things for us, such as occasionally making snacks and meals for me if I am tired after work (often using food that she purchased with her own money).
I have a funny feeling that if the OP moves home, she will move home as a child, with Mom & Dad doing everything for her, not as a roommate who is independent adult.
And one more thing - when I had three children, I was working for minimum wage at a convenience store. I knew I was not in a great place, and I was determined to better my life...and I did. Lots of people are stuck in temporarily bad situations, but they know the way out and they know they're getting out.
According to your belief structure, I didn't have any business having kids. I think they'd beg to differ with you. By the way, they're all doing really well - and now I have seven grandchildren - and two of my four kids haven't even had kids yet so I'm pretty sure our brood will grow. WE'RE TAKING OVER THE WORLD!
Darn. I was about to post "nothing wrong with that". Then THIS happened:
Quote:
Originally Posted by stellastar2345 View Post
well if google, mercedes, etc manage to get their way, we can automate the jobs that bus drivers, truck drivers, etc have. they don't actually make the world work. The engineers who made the cars and the middle manager who did the math to figure out how to max profits make the world work.
Teachers make on average 60k/year. Assuming 2 teachers get together, that's like 120k/year combined salary. If they have like one child, it's not hard for them to send the kid to college.
Also, are you really advocating grocery store clerks to have children? Why do you want someone who is making min wage to have children? You can't support yourself on min wage. How is having a child a good idea?
Ok so YEAH, you need to get OUT and learn about life.
First of all, grocery store clerks are not necessarily making minimum wage and even if they ARE so what?
Secondly, just MAYBE that "grocery store clerk" is just working for fun (as is the case in much of FLorida) or as a spare job for Xmas spending, or a second job to pay off their house quickly, or is married to someone who can actually support a family even without their income.
So HILARIOUS. I did a three month stint in 1999 as the overnight cashier in a grocery store and all the customers were so condescending. Making grand pronouncements apropos of nothing like "maybe if you went back to school and got a better education, you could get a better job".
NO CLUE AT ALL about my personal life.
I attended Convent of the Sacred Heart, a exclusive boarding school with the Kennedys and others of that ilk. Guarantee you NONE of these customers would have even heard of it. And the funny part was, most of them were the local bar flys leaving the clubs at 2 AM, wasted. IMPRESSIVE LIFE.
I had a college degree, my ex husband had two masters degrees and a PhD from one of the top Ivy League schools in the country. I had just closed MY RETAIL BUSINESS because my BF was in a serious accident in ICU for three months so I wanted to be around during the day and make some spending money at night and not live off my SAVINGS indefinitely. AND before owning that business, I was making close to 100K for a Fortune 10 company IN THE EARLY 90's. For awhile I directly reported to the President, who ended up being sentenced to 6 years in federal prison for insider trading. After a run in with the NSA and the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission. My house was paid off and my kid's college trust fund was in place so he could attend with NO LOANS or drama.
I hate to break it to you but grocery stores HAVE a career path. WHO do you think is running them? A bunch of high school or college kids? A bunch of ignoramuses? Maybe you don't like to EAT so you can stop forcing yourself to visit such a low life place.
IF you haven't LIVED LIFE you really don't know much about it. In fact, with all my "worldly" experience I learned a hellavalot in that grocery job.
OP, do what works for you and your family. If you are happy with the arrangement and your parents are happy with the arrangement, WHO CARES what the anonymous internet thinks?
There was a time people lived with their parents until they got married. I moved out after college because the thought of living in my parents home was not something I cared to do. You have a lot of time yet to be independent.
And who says you are not independent? Sounds like you make your own decisions. Bravo for having parents that pick up your bills. I wish I still had that Embrace it, it might not always be there.
Sometimes parents pay for things because it is their was of showing love.
I landed a job right after college that pays an ok salary for my area (60k/year in metro Atlanta). The job is around 10 minutes away (w/o traffic) from my parent's house. The cost of living in the city my parents live is fairly high (the average family income is like 140k/year to give you a reference) and the city my job is located has an even higher rent. I don't want to spend most of my salary on rent. I could live in a cheaper area, but it will be a lot more in commute time.
My parents have more than enough room for me (it's a 5 bedroom house and there's also a mother in law suite - and I'm an only child).
I told a few people about my plan, and they told me it was weird and that I was acting like a spoiled brat. I don't know, I'm still going to do it, but is it really that weird? I read that a lot of people my age (21) are still dependent on their parents/will live with their parents after college.
Aren't you the one who thinks people should not have children unless those people pay for their child's college education?
Why are you worrying about money when your parents will pay for everything?
Then talking about a program where work will pay for part of it? Seriously, let work pay for someone else who has parents who are not as responsible as your parents since your parents will pay for everything.
Bottom line, if you want to live with your parents and let them support you then do so just don't be surprised when you have no idea how to deal with real emergencies and issues when your parents are gone.
Once the OP was "outed" about her other posts and her consistently pretty appalling take on life in general (dislike and disrespect for her parents, planning to "cut them out of her life entirely" in a few years, saying that people who aren't prepared to foot the bill entirely for their adult kids' continuing education shouldn't even HAVE CHILDREN, grocery store clerks shouldn't have children, etc) she hasn't been nearly as interactive on the thread.
She did come back and give us a jewel of a post (the one about grocery store clerks needing to remain childless, and truck drivers, people in the trades, etc don't make our economy run smoothly - only white collar executives can do that yada yada yada) but she's been pretty quiet other than that. I would hope that she's mulling over the critical responses to her OP, but I somehow doubt that's the case.
She also doesn't answer many direct questions, which personally is disappointing to me since her answers are so unintentionally entertaining!
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