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I've been fired at least 4 times, mostly because the job was just a bad fit. Once I was "let go" I never spoke to my former co-workers. I think it would be have been uncomfortable for everyone involved. Yes, this can be bothersome, especially if you felt like you clicked with someone or a few people, but it's really not that uncommon.
When you get your next job, that you really like and fit with, you will meet new people that are better suited for you. Believe me, in the end, you will be happy that you moved on even if it takes a while.
People at work are just people you work with, they are not meant to be your friends. Take off the rose colored glasses.
I sort of agree with this.
It's no different than if you have a college class with other people. Those people are your classmates, and not meant to be your friends. Now, that's not to say you can't end up making a friend or 2 from there, but that's not the beginning intent.
For some of them who are actually more friend than just co-workers, they may feel awkward about approaching you....they still have a job and you don't. They may think that leaving you alone is what you want, or not to bring up associations about work. I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt here.
My last job I was there 11 years. Many personal lives were intertwined. Guess what? I was laid off and the owner, his wife, and my coworker did not come in that day. They made someone else do it. Cowards. But I learned a HUGE lesson. Do not mix work and home life to a large extent.
Now I've been at my job for 7 years. In 2014 when my husband was diagnosed with Pancreatic cancer and given 6 months, they were HUGELY supportive. I could take as much time as I needed and never missed a paycheck. They took up an offering and a home chef came to my house 2x a week to prepare meals mostly catered to someone going through chemo. When he passed in 2015, the overwhelming support was incredible. Many donated to my GoFundMe and many showed up to his memorial.
From one end of the spectrum to another. These are good people I work with now. However, should I leave or one of them leave, I cannot say with 100% certainty that we would stay in touch. Facebook maybe or a lunch once in a while. They all have families and lives. It does not mean they are bad people but the one thread we have in common- work- would be gone.
I say move on, get a new job, and start living your life and find some friends outside of work with similar interests. Good luck!
I lost my job recently and have lots of time on my hands. I want to stay in touch with my friends from my old job but while they were so friendly to me while I was there, now they won't have anything to do with me. Some come up with excuses why they can't see me, while others are just plain rude and cold.
Do you think it has something to do with getting into a fight with my boss who was destroying the company, and then getting fired? Maybe if the word gets out that they are still friends with me they will be fired too.
What is your experience with old work friends after being laid off or fired?
Well, given that you actually got in a fight with your boss who, as you put it, "was destroying the company," then it really doesn't speak well about your temperament on the job. Was it a public scene? A fist fight? Or just a confrontation at a staff meeting? No one has ever accused me of being a shrinking violet, but I've never had a shouting match with a boss. And I had a couple of lulus.
In truth, none of those matters. Because in any business setting, openly contradicting a boss is a bad idea. That is certainly not to say that you shouldn't weigh in and give your opinion. That is not to say that you can't speak honestly to the boss behind closed doors. But just like everything else in life, there's a time and a place to speak your mind and, evidently, you chose poorly.
So now you're one of two guys:
1) QT the volatile prima donna who got into a pissing match with the boss. And now they're thinking, "Wow, if QT has such little judgment as that, I'm now worried if he might reveal some of the conversations I've had. And I need this freaking job."
2) QT who said all the right things and was fired by the tyrant of a boss. In which case, the last thing they want to do is get caught socializing with you. Because, once again, they need the job.
The fact that you describe some as rude and cold tells me that we should take a closer look at #1. All we have to do is look at your screen name. Most people choose screen names based on self-image. Me? I chose a self-deprecating one due to the fact that I drove a minivan for ten years while shuttling kids to soccer practice and violin. Meanwhile, you chose your screen name based on the fact that you have a generous opinion of your intellect. Reveals a lot.
But intelligence and wisdom are two entirely different qualities. While one can be intelligent and have different thoughts than the boss, picking a fight with him is almost never wise.
So here's the road back: Don't write off your former co-workers just because they are being weird and awkward. They might not know what to say. They might not want to pick sides. They might worry about their own jobs. It's not all about you, you know. Instead, let things cool down and just stay in periodic contact over the next few months and years. Those contacts will likely prove handy as your career progresses.
Last edited by MinivanDriver; 09-28-2017 at 11:21 AM..
I will tell you that work friends are work acquaintances only. Once work is no longer in common, there is little if any friend to it, just someone you used to know. Where you retired or were fired makes no difference.
This is a short-sighted view and, for the most part, patently untrue.
I have long-time friends that I've made in my career. My former direct report was a fire-breather of whom I lived in mortal dread for the first three months on the job until I learned to stand my ground with him. Over time he began to respect me, then sought my advice. Twenty-seven years later, we're fast friends. Same with any number of other people in my professional life. Mind you, the dynamic at the beginning is different and one has to be careful with whom they work. But over time, with any decent antennae, you learn who you can trust.
At the same time, as you progress in your career, you will often encounter these same people over and over again, whether you stay in the same geographic market or the same industry. And you never, ever know how or when these people will resurface in your life.
So, OP, stay in touch. Not aggressively, but with an eye towards maintaining the relationships.
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