Dissed at Christmas dinner. What would you have done? (bitterness, husband, children)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
How would you have handle this & what would you do going forward?
Just chalk it up to your stepdaughter not having any class. Other than that, yes, it was sort of rude, but as the hostess of my own Christmas dinner, I did not have a place to sit either. *shrugs*
Going forward, I would have a talk with my husband about his daughter's behavior and see what happens from there. Not a whole lot you can do about the little assclown, though, since she's his kid.
She has a ring on her finger, a church reserved, date set, etc. she's very much engaged.
I've had no part in "raising" this girl. She was 17-18 when her dad & I married. She never resided in our home.
Just because she's a " Millenial" doesn't excuse rude behavior.
No it doesn't (bless their little hearts). There's not a darn thing you can do about her behavior. Therefore, I wouldn't let Taco Bella get under my skin.
You don't like her, and do not think you are motivated to try. I find it odd (and I'm a step parent) that you know nothing about the ex or the home life over there.
She does not seem to like you, and is not motivated to try. Does she have a good reason to be angry? How long were her parents divorced before you married? I would guess it must be hard for her to have her dad have a new insta-family.
__________________ ____________________________________________
My posts as a Mod will always be in red.
Be sure to review Terms of Service: TOS
And check this out: FAQ
Moderator: Relationships Forum / Hawaii Forum / Dogs / Pets / Current Events
Going forward, I would have a talk with my husband about his daughter's behavior and see what happens from there. Not a whole lot you can do about the little assclown, though, since she's his kid.
Usually the dad is clueless because he wears blinders caused by guilt.
Step-mom should step back and see if the girl matures some day. Escalating the situation won't help, especially with Taco Belle's wedding in the near future.
You don't like her, and do not think you are motivated to try. I find it odd (and I'm a step parent) that you know nothing about the ex or the home life over there.
She does not seem to like you, and is not motivated to try. Does she have a good reason to be angry? How long were her parents divorced before you married? I would guess it must be hard for her to have her dad have a new insta-family.
What I know about her family/mom is mainly what I've been told by my husband so that's the viewpoint I've heard. I've met the ex, been around her at different events (ball games, graduations, etc) and I've said "hello" but it's obvious she has no interest in interacting with me. When we were engaged, she did things to create strife....like keeping the kids from visiting DH's parents on holidays if I was going to be there, and calling me up & telling me what a low-down, horrible excuse for a husband he is and that my girls & I "deserved better than him", and then later calling him up crying about how he ruined her life by leaving & saying it wasn't too late & begging him to come home. (After years) so....she doesn't sound terribly stable. So the less interaction with her, the better things seem to go. I know where she lives, how many siblings she has, where she works, what she does for a living, those type things. But I don't know her parenting style, whether she's strict or not, etc. Both the kids are smart, make good grades, are in college with challenging majors. My DH is intelligent, and from what I've been told, his ex is also. But I cannot attest to her parenting style. DH's interaction with her is strictly limited to kid-related business....splitting college expenses, insurance questions, wedding budget, etc.
As I said in another reply, DH & ex were separated (living apart) for 5 years, and legally divorced for 2 years before he & I even MET. We dated for a year before we got married. So all together, 8-10 years went be betwee the time they separated & he & I married. So, no, it wasn't an "Insta-family".
A lot of time the "kids" get the attitude the other parent shows. So if the ex-wife has acted like that, she voices it to the daughter, and..... the daughter acts it out when around.
__________________ ____________________________________________
My posts as a Mod will always be in red.
Be sure to review Terms of Service: TOS
And check this out: FAQ
Moderator: Relationships Forum / Hawaii Forum / Dogs / Pets / Current Events
I find many men (no, not all) fairly clueless or at least adopting a clueless countenance to avoid conflict between the females. And 97% of the time it is indeed the females who go all "mean girl" at each other. This happens everywhere -- at home, at work, in social settings. It may be below the surface but it's as tangible as thick fog to those who are in it or have a sense of the negative energy swirling around them.
OP if you're being honest with yourself you have to admit you don't like this stepdaughter, not at all. It makes her behavior seem that much worse because you're already queued up with tension towards her, loaded for bear, as the saying goes. True, bringing fast food into a family holiday dinner (without warning and perhaps permission) is rude, but seriously whatchagonnado? Did you talk to your husband about stepdaughter's behavior? What did he say?
How do you intend to handle future holiday dinners at your house? Not invite her? Talk to her beforehand and request she not bring fast food to the dinner? Put name cards on specific seats at the various tables so it's plainly obvious where she & her fiance are to sit? Can't change the past so use this to determine a strategy for the future.
As a young stepmom to a young child, I try to model my behavior on my mom's. She got my two half-brothers when she married my dad. They were holy terrors and determined to make her life hell. She loved them wholeheartedly from the moment she met them, and she made sure they knew it. They grew to love and respect her because that is what she gave them. I love my stepson, and I will always treat him as my own. Love this girl, and things will probably improve. Like it or not, she is part of your family and will be as long as you are married to her dad.
I am sensing an undercurrent of general disapproval and dislike of your stepdaughter, and perhaps some buried anger at your husband.
How well do you get along with his ex wife/her mother?
I predict you will tell us that the ex is crazy/mean/criminal/a terrible parent.
How far off the mark am I?
Quote:
Originally Posted by TN2HSV
I don't really know her mother wel enough to have an opinion of her.
Well it took a few hundred posts but it finally came out...
Quote:
Originally Posted by TN2HSV
I've said "hello" but it's obvious she has no interest in interacting with me. When we were engaged, she did things to create strife....like keeping the kids from visiting DH's parents on holidays if I was going to be there, and calling me up & telling me what a low-down, horrible excuse for a husband he is and that my girls & I "deserved better than him", and then later calling him up crying about how he ruined her life by leaving & saying it wasn't too late & begging him to come home. (After years) so....she doesn't sound terribly stable. So the less interaction with her, the better things seem to go.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
