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??? Did you actually read this thread? She is not 17, she is 22 years old. College-educated and engaged to be married.
It is her father's house, but her stepmother is the woman of that house, and so she should be respected. She doesn't live there.
And sorry, but I continue to disagree. If my own mother was making me Christmas dinner, I wouldn't show up with a bag of fast-food and turn my nose up at what she cooked. It is disrespectful. I wouldn't do that to ANYONE who invited me over for dinner.
No I thought she was 17 years old, or was she 17 when they started dating?
Either way, all my responses stand anyhow.
The daughter didn't do anything to anyone. No one turned their nose up at anyone (you have interesting visuals you insert for exaggeration purposes eh?)
That is just trying to pick a fight where one doesn't exist. Not Cool
Like I said earlier, my dining room table will accommodate 8. That would've still left 2 people who would have to sit in the kitchen. Who should those 2 have been? (I asked this earlier but don't think I got an answer)
You got plenty of answers.
My parent's dinning room table fits 10. If we had an extra guest or two, we could squeeze in an extra few chairs. Their kitchen table only seats 6. For some reason we always do dessert at the kitchen table, so we've squeezed 10 around that table. We've even had casual dinners at the kitchen table, and everyone managed to fit.
I'm still confused as to why your first few posts claimed the dinning room wasn't used because there weren't enough people, but now there were too many people to use that table.
The ten people include 2 young teenage girls and a two year old. We're not talking about fitting 10 linebackers around a table, or even 10 men. Your family should be able to fit around the table just fine. But if they can't, do as another suggested and stick a card table at the end.
??? Did you actually read this thread? She is not 17, she is 22 years old. College-educated and engaged to be married.
It is her father's house, but her stepmother is the woman of that house, and so she should be respected. She doesn't live there.
And sorry, but I continue to disagree. If my own mother was making me Christmas dinner, I wouldn't show up with a bag of fast-food and turn my nose up at what she cooked. It is disrespectful. I wouldn't do that to ANYONE who invited me over for dinner.
That little twit is family. More specifically, that little twit is the op's husband's daughter who is home for the holiday. I totally agree that brining Taco Bell to a holiday meal was dumb but also not something worth getting that upset over. The op aired her feelings about it to her SD, which was appropriate. Holding a grudge over it is not healthy for anyone.
True, but she's not MY family, so I can call her a little twit if I want.
If my own mother was making me Christmas dinner, I wouldn't show up with a bag of fast-food and turn my nose up at what she cooked. It is disrespectful. I wouldn't do that to ANYONE who invited me over for dinner.
But would your mother continue to serve things year after year that you do not like and won't eat?
This isn't their first holiday together. The girl knew she wouldn't receive a warm welcome and would most likely not have anything to eat. Instead of being hungry and miserable during the Christmas celebration, she decided to take matters into her own hands and bring her own food.
When I was 22, I invited my husbands family over for Christmas. We had been married about 2 years.
Oh my gosh, it was a nightmare. At least for a few minutes
I made Chicken Spaghetti because Chicken was on sale and we couldn't afford a Turkey. Kept to the other traditional side dishes. We had all the fixings for the rest of the meal costing very little money (using coupons)
Being the good hostess, I was the last to sit down. Everyone had already started eating.
Someone meekly said to me, "did you put garlic in this meal?" "I mean how much did you put?"
I told them I put a clove of garlic as the recipe said.
They responded "are you sure?"
I said "Sure I am sure, I only bought one Clove of Garlic"
You should've seen the looks on their faces
I knew something was up.
Took a bite and spit it out
We had just gotten some money from his parents, so I got up and took the $100 cash out of their Xmas Card in the other room and said I was taking orders for Taco Bell. They kept insisting on paying for themselves.I felt very bad but everyone was so kind it was forgotten pretty quickly.
OP, all I can tell you is that if you pit yourself against your husband's daughter, or keep drama stirred up between the two of you, you'll have about as much success and happiness as if your husband kept drama stirring between your kids and him.
I mean, put yourself in his place. He loves his daughter. He wants her to feel comfortable in his home. He wants her to feel comfortable and at ease with ALL of the people he loves, including you and your kids. He wants you to be happy. He wants you to be nurturing and loving toward his daughter. He wants you to enjoy having her as a guest in the home that you and he share.
No wonder he's silent. I think if he spoke up much, neither of you would like what he has to say.
But he won't sit placidly forever. If you and his daughter keep snipping at each other, and keep drama going between the two of you, it may not end in your favor. And even if it does, what have you really gained - a grieving father who misses his comfortable, loving relationship with his child, and who may place some blame for that heartache on you - possibly for good reason?
You have more to lose than to gain in this ongoing tit for tat. And I don't know about you, but personally one of the things that attracted me to my husband was that he is a good and loving father to his son - my stepson. I realized early on that I needed to support their relationship and that the more love and kindness and gentleness that I extended to his son, the more the father loved me.
And my stepson has not been all sweetness and light. In fact, he went through a really rough patch when he was in his late teens and we had to both really stand firm. But we stood together - and one of the ways we did that is that in spite of my stepson's terrible behavior at the time, I never lambasted him to his dad. Now - his dad is a reasonable person, and therefore he did not allow his son to actually disrespect me - but I also wasn't hypersensitive to any little slight either. I can promise you - if he'd brought over a bag of Taco Bell and sat down with his girlfriend at our table, I would never have made an issue out of either of those events. I would have ignored the TB and just pulled up a chair to the table and said, "Y'all scoot over and let me in here," and then given him a big grin and said, "Next time you stop at Taco Bell, bring me some of those cinnamon thingies - I love those!"
Pick your battles, because when everything is a battle, everyone loses - you included. You ESPECIALLY, because you come off looking petty and mean spirited toward the daughter your husband loves. And one day he may just realize he's sick of it.
No I thought she was 17 years old, or was she 17 when they started dating?
Either way, all my responses stand anyhow.
The daughter didn't do anything to anyone. No one turned their nose up at anyone (you have interesting visuals you insert for exaggeration purposes eh?)
That is just trying to pick a fight where one doesn't exist. Not Cool
No visuals, no exaggeration. It's a common expression with which I thought everyone was familiar. Sorry. "Turning up your nose" at something means you don't like something. She didn't want the Christmas dinner that was being served.
true, but she's not my family, so i can call her a little twit if i want. :d
lol!!
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