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Year after year???? Where are you making these assumptions?
This is the FIRST time I've hosted Christmas dinner! Previously, it was always at my MIL's house and she always served ham (I've said this about 10 times too). My dear MIL is 80 and hosting & cooking for a crowd is something she's "over" after all these years & theyve downsized homes considerably, so we offered to take over hosting duty. My MIL (the SD's own grandmother) provided the meat. She brought ham.
But somehow you e turned this into " she knew she wasn't welcome & that I wouldn't have anything for her to eat". Good lord.
I'll just repeat this line here... "Previously, it was always at my MIL's house and she always served ham"
Always. Served. Ham... sounds like ham was served year after year to me... So that is were I get these "assumptions" from your posts.
Your step daughter knew this was going to be another year of ham, something she doesn't like, so decided to bring her own food. You said in your first post that she brought it because she didn't think there would be anything she would like. Again, your words.
But then, so much of the story has changed since that first post, I wouldn't be surprised if this changed either. I"m guessing you made all her favorite foods, let her know in advance of the menu and how excited you were for her to come... right?
And just because grandmother was making ham, it doesn't mean another meat dish couldn't have been made to make your step daughter feel more welcomed. You knew she didn't like it, but chose not to do anything about it. My SO doesn't like ham, so my mom makes a roast as well for Christmas. Because she is a great hostess who wants everyone to enjoy the meal and feel welcomed.
You expected this younger couple (both were grown adults) to sit at the kids table. She saw an opening to sit with her grandparents and father, as the only option other than sitting with your younger children she apparently is not close to.
That in itself is not being a good hostess, to expect her and her fiance to sit with the kids. You had a dining table big enough to handle everyone comfortably, but chose to do otherwise. Apparently you dislike this young woman, and this maneuver on your part was to set her away from the adults.
Actually it is your own fault you were the one that ate with the kids. I bet you really decided to eat in the kitchen for exactly the reason to sit her away from you, your husband (her father) and grand parents. You tried to put your invited company with the kids, seating her away from her father and grandparents. She saw what you were doing, and did not permit you to get away with it. I have respect for that young lady.
You are the one that did wrong eating in the kitchen instead of the dining room the traditional place for such a dinner for the purpose of putting this young woman and her finance down by putting them with the kids. This is not what a good hostess would do. Not if they have decent manners and are in the least bit cultured.
You are angry because your little power play did not work out, and you were the one that had to eat with the kids.
you honestly think I put this much thought into it? Good grief, you're giving me much more credit than I deserve! I'm not nearly that vindictive or calculating. I was cooking, cleaning & looking after my toddler. I certainly didn't have time to pre-conceive this scenario. It happened and was unfortunate. I'm not the devil.
Bottom line: you can be insulted if you want. If you want.
That hurts you, hurts your husband and hurts the family.
We have family parties, and we can never tell how many will show up (they are bad at RSVPing for various reasons).
If we do not have enough chairs we all make due. Some in the living room, some standing.... oh look... there is my niece home from college and tired asleep on the couch (get her a blanket).... cousins come...they ate somewhere else, but wanted to visit (get them a beer)....someone wanders in with McDonald's.... who cares?!!!!
No I am not a bitter divorced wife. My first husband passed away, and I learned what is important in life and what is not.
Remarried to a man with 4 kids.
As with most late teens / twenties (including all of my nieces/nephews in this) they can be twits sometimes (stealing a word from another poster). I was a twit at that age sometimes.
OP: let it go
Teach no lessons, do not anticipate with glee that she may have problems with her wedding. Just be a gracious hostess.
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you honestly think I put this much thought into it? Good grief, you're giving me much more credit than I deserve! I'm not nearly that vindictive or calculating. I was cooking, cleaning & looking after my toddler. I certainly didn't have time to pre-conceive this scenario. It happened and was unfortunate. I'm not the devil.
You mean you really did seat this College Student next to your children? Isn't that where you should be sitting, especially considering their age?
Ok maybe I got their ages wrong too (like I did w/her) but aren't they pretty little? not to rag on you but just curious
I have to ask.....for everyone who thought it so awful that I didn't have ONE table with enough chairs for everyone (even those who were late), do YOU have one table that sits 10-12 people? If not, what do you do? Who decides who sits where? Do you make place cards?
Like I said earlier, my dining room table will accommodate 8. That would've still left 2 people who would have to sit in the kitchen. Who should those 2 have been? (I asked this earlier but don't think I got an answer)
Actually, I did answer this earlier. I had 10 people at my home for Christmas Eve, but two extra showed up. We have a dining room table that seats four, plus a couch, two recliners, a spare desk chair and a spare office chair.
I wound up standing to eat my meal.
If I had a dining room table that sat 8, plus a kitchen table that sat 4, I would put 4 people at each table, that way nobody feels like they went to the kids table.
Bottom line: you can be insulted if you want. If you want.
That hurts you, hurts your husband and hurts the family.
We have family parties, and we can never tell how many will show up (they are bad at RSVPing for various reasons).
If we do not have enough chairs we all make due. Some in the living room, some standing.... oh look... there is my niece home from college and tired asleep on the couch (get her a blanket).... cousins come...they ate somewhere else, but wanted to visit (get them a beer)....someone wanders in with McDonald's.... who cares?!!!!
No I am not a bitter divorced wife. My first husband passed away, and I learned what is important in life and what is not.
Remarried to a man with 4 kids.
As with most late teens / twenties (including all of my nieces/nephews in this) they can be twits sometimes (stealing a word from another poster). I was a twit at that age sometimes.
OP: let it go
Teach no lessons, do not anticipate with glee that she may have problems with her wedding. Just be a gracious hostess.
You expected this younger couple (both were grown adults) to sit at the kids table. She saw an opening to sit with her grandparents and father, as the only option other than sitting with your younger children she apparently is not close to.
Yes, I find it funny that the OP has repeated over and over again that because the step daughter is engaged, that makes her a grown adult, but then expects her to sit at the kids table.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissTerri
I don't think the op was an awful host. She had enough seats for everyone.
Yeah, she had seats for everyone until the step daughter and fiance arrived. From post #5:
Quote:
Originally Posted by TN2HSV
And we did have enough seats until she & her fiancé arrived.
Anybody who brings Taco Bell to Christmas dinner is a twit. Who is going to cater the wedding, Jack in the Box?
If she does, OP should show up with a ham!
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