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Weddings are different than let's say a game night. Looking for RSVPs for a casual game might 3 weeks in advance is pretty early (it is not your birthday or the holidays.)
Major ocassions require a real RSVP, and i love that most people are doing online ones. I wish the link would come with the save the date. I usually make a strong decision at that point.
Not every outing with friends needs to be an event.
Glad you had fun anyway, but how much effort does it take to say or even text "sorry, can't make it".
And did you wait around awhile for them? That's another thing, it's better to just say don't expect me than to let people think you're coming, and people wait around for people who have no intention of showing.
Here's the thing - I can't control what other people do or don't do. I can, however, control how I react to it. I choose not to get butt hurt when someone doesn't do what I think they should. It makes my life a lot easier.
I didn't wait for anyone. If they didn't show, they didn't show. It wasn't going to ruin my night. Would it be nice if they'd shown up? Sure. But I chose to appreciate those who did instead of being angry at those who did not.
Here's the thing - I can't control what other people do or don't do. I can, however, control how I react to it. I choose not to get butt hurt when someone doesn't do what I think they should. It makes my life a lot easier.
I didn't wait for anyone. If they didn't show, they didn't show. It wasn't going to ruin my night. Would it be nice if they'd shown up? Sure. But I chose to appreciate those who did instead of being angry at those who did not.
We have a few friends we get together with every Friday night.
I just got "The Martian" Blu-ray and suggested one friend host us at his house this coming Friday -- he has the best home theater system. I'll get a couple of Papa Murphy pizzas and maybe a dessert.
I'm thinking we should invite some of the people who used to come but have fallen away over the years. If none of them show, that's fine. We'll still have a good time.
And why do you care? They are socializing. It's just with other people who have similar things going on in their lives. They are busy. You just don't seem to like the fact they are busy with things other than you.
And has absolutely nothing to do with how and when working people spend their time.
30 years ago it didn't take both parents working to put the roof over a family and food on the table. Mother stayed home and cooked and cleaned. Now both parents work, and then when they get home still have to do all cooking, cleaning, etc. Which takes time. And don't overestimate how many telework. Some do, but the vast majority of people working in this country do not.
Kind of like those who expect others to socialize with them when they want? Kind of like assuming that people aren't busy because you want them to do what you want to do?
Socializing should not be about putting people on the spot. People will do the socializing they want to do, not what you want them to do.
Try and keep up.
The library was an example of how much quicker today a term paper can be written. So it is nonsense that people have less time today.
And yes 30 years ago it was very common to have both parents working. IDK how old you are but starting in the 70s it actually became common.
Amazing how people were able to still get things done.
What is so hard to admit that many today spend too much time staring down at their phones? I see it all the time in stores, instead of shopping they stand there and text. I have seen people come into the stores the same time I have, 20 minutes later I'm done shopping and paying, they're still standing their playing with the phone with an empty cart.....LOL.
Here's the thing - I can't control what other people do or don't do. I can, however, control how I react to it. I choose not to get butt hurt when someone doesn't do what I think they should. It makes my life a lot easier.
I didn't wait for anyone. If they didn't show, they didn't show. It wasn't going to ruin my night. Would it be nice if they'd shown up? Sure. But I chose to appreciate those who did instead of being angry at those who did not.
No you can't. But see I don't keep making plans with people who flake, maybe you do.
And don't tell me you don't get annoyed, because that's not normal. While you shouldn't hold onto the anger as it does you no good, you don't sit at a restaurant waiting for someone who doesn't show and not get annoyed.
Nobody likes their time wasted or to be treated poorly.
And unless they have a very good reason like a car accident on their way to meet you, you don't give the opportunity to do it again.
As the saying goes "fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice shame on me".
The library was an example of how much quicker today a term paper can be written. So it is nonsense that people have less time today.
And yes 30 years ago it was very common to have both parents working. IDK how old you are but starting in the 70s it actually became common.
Amazing how people were able to still get things done.
What is so hard to admit that many today spend too much time staring down at their phones? I see it all the time in stores, instead of shopping they stand there and text. I have seen people come into the stores the same time I have, 20 minutes later I'm done shopping and paying, they're still standing their playing with the phone with an empty cart.....LOL.
These are the people who have no time.
When I was a kid, particularly in the southeast, many women didn't work, or worked low wage part time jobs. My mom didn't work more than part time till I was in high school. She was always home for PTA, Girl Scouts and parent teacher conferences. I am in my 30s.
No you can't. But see I don't keep making plans with people who flake, maybe you do.
And don't tell me you don't get annoyed, because that's not normal. While you shouldn't hold onto the anger as it does you no good, you don't sit at a restaurant waiting for someone who doesn't show and not get annoyed.
Nobody likes their time wasted or to be treated poorly.
And unless they have a very good reason like a car accident on their way to meet you, you don't give the opportunity to do it again.
As the saying goes "fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice shame on me".
You know, there's a far cry from the original OP's question about whether people had time for a general social get together, and formal RSVPs and getting stood up at a restaurant. The answer, as has been said but you continue to ignore, is people have a fixed amount of time and choose to spend it on what they want to spend it on. That does not mean they will spend it the way you want to or with you. Totally different questions and issues.
What is so hard to admit that many today spend too much time staring down at their phones? I see it all the time in stores, instead of shopping they stand there and text. I have seen people come into the stores the same time I have, 20 minutes later I'm done shopping and paying, they're still standing their playing with the phone with an empty cart.....LOL.
These are the people who have no time.
I've been that person, standing by a cart in a store, texting, for some time. In fact, just this week, I was that person. The fact is, YOU have no idea what that person is doing on their phone. In my case, I had received an update on a friend's sudden decline in health from another friend. She texted me. I replied. Then a third friend texted about friend 1. And so on. Fact was, we were suddenly planning on taking a meal over for the family, and since I was in the grocery store, I could, in fact, purchase what I needed for this sudden unexpected turn of events. In my case, that made a whole lot more sense in use of time. In fact, had I not responded until I got home, I would have had to RETURN to the store, which would have taken up way more time than just taking care of the conversation and the planning while in the store.
I've also received texts from my kids, which I've pulled over and answered while in a store. I will never answer a ringing phone, but I will respond to texts in a store.
OH....you will also see me "staring" at my phone in stores, because I also keep my shopping lists on there, too, and I have various coupon sites too (Target's Cartwheel, my grocery store's card site, etc.) Sometimes I am searching for that coupon for 50% off that I know I saw on the website, but did not add, and now I want it! And sometimes I am looking up recipes while in the grocery store...I use my phone a LOT.
[quote=jade408;42675916]When I was a kid, particularly in the southeast, many women didn't work, or worked low wage part time jobs. My mom didn't work more than part time till I was in high school. She was always home for PTA, Girl Scouts and parent teacher conferences. I am in my 30s]
You grew up in a lower cost of living state. It was the norm going back more than 30 years ago in the Northeast. Women got more involved in the work force since the Women's Liberation Movement which started in the early 70s.
Quote:
Originally Posted by tnff
You know, there's a far cry from the original OP's question about whether people had time for a general social get together, and formal RSVPs and getting stood up at a restaurant. The answer, as has been said but you continue to ignore, is people have a fixed amount of time and choose to spend it on what they want to spend it on. That does not mean they will spend it the way you want to or with you. Totally different questions and issues.
Gee, a thread never expands or changes direction. This must be the first time. And actually it is tied in as time is the issue.
Quote:
Originally Posted by PeachSalsa
I've been that person, standing by a cart in a store, texting, for some time. In fact, just this week, I was that person. The fact is, YOU have no idea what that person is doing on their phone. In my case, I had received an update on a friend's sudden decline in health from another friend. She texted me. I replied. Then a third friend texted about friend 1. And so on. Fact was, we were suddenly planning on taking a meal over for the family, and since I was in the grocery store, I could, in fact, purchase what I needed for this sudden unexpected turn of events. In my case, that made a whole lot more sense in use of time. In fact, had I not responded until I got home, I would have had to RETURN to the store, which would have taken up way more time than just taking care of the conversation and the planning while in the store.
I've also received texts from my kids, which I've pulled over and answered while in a store. I will never answer a ringing phone, but I will respond to texts in a store.
OH....you will also see me "staring" at my phone in stores, because I also keep my shopping lists on there, too, and I have various coupon sites too (Target's Cartwheel, my grocery store's card site, etc.) Sometimes I am searching for that coupon for 50% off that I know I saw on the website, but did not add, and now I want it! And sometimes I am looking up recipes while in the grocery store...I use my phone a LOT.
Please, there are people who are oblivious to others who block the aisles. I don't care what you do on the phone, but don't stand in other people's way.
And you don't have to reply that very second.
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