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He tried to make a purchase a few days ago. Called his bank and said his access was restricted.But I just found out, from overhearing her on the phone, she restricted his access because of a purchase she didn't approve of. So it looks like it's not really his account. It's hers, or she's the primary, he's the secondary or whatever. I won't know for sure until he calls them tomorrow.
Quote:
Originally Posted by KathrynAragon
How did she "cut off access to his funds?"
She can't stop him from using a joint checking account that he's a co owner of. All she could do is take the money out of it, unless she went through the expense of getting a court order to freeze the account, which I'm pretty sure she hasn't done.
How did your brother find out that she had "cut off access to his funds?" You said he doesn't have online access and that he doesn't have a phone password set up either. Did he try to use a debit card or write a check that didn't go through or what?
The Direct Deposit was for his former job back in our hometown. We've moved since. He's going to open up another account tomorrow for whatever job he gets up here.
he just had about 500 in his account from his last paycheck.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CSD610
He should stop direct deposit immediately then if necessary open an account in his own name, it is that simple.
Ok so this might sound harsh, but it sounds like everyone is reaping a benefit from living with Mom and Dad. Yeah, they may be "controlling," but he/she who pays the bills, makes the rules.
Sounds like there's probably more going on with the story of your brother than you realize. He may be too embarrassed to share it because he realizes he's a grown man who can't manage his life. If he's serious about taking back his life, then he needs to be a man of action and begin making plans to cut himself off financially from your parents. That means opening his own account with only a "paid at death" contact on the account, applying to go back to school and pay for it himself, making arrangements for living once he's there and not taking anything from your parents again.
If they are bad people, then you both know that everything comes at a price. You BOTH have to determine if you are really willing to pay that price though.
See that's what I'm thinking. She told him it was a joint account. I'll call on tomorrow with him to see what type of account it is.
Your brother needs to start being more independent from you and his mother in handling matters like this. Too many college "kids" remain ignorant/inept in handling basic life skills unfortunately.
Oh my...I didn't even think of that. He wouldn't know for sure, he probably wasn't paying attention or remembered lol.
I hope he has learned a major lesson from this. I can't imagine stunting my kid's growth this way, or being the kid who allows it. He should have stayed down at school. Relocating as a 26 year old in the middle of college shouldn't even have been up for discussion.
I totally get it, but nope there's nothing more. I think he just needs to be smarter about things like this. He watched me go through everything that's happening to him now, so I guess I expect that doesnt do the same? if that makes sense.
I'm aware of the price I pay lol! It really sucks, but hey beggars can't be choosers. I've accepted it and I have a definite plan when I graduate to move out. I'm totally willing to live with them along with my kids and share one room and live rent free-well I give them something towards the rent to do my part. It's sooo not ideal-but I see the big picture. I can't just leave and "rough" it out. My kids are in a great school district, we live in a really great, safe neighborhood. I get to finish up my masters and do internships that I wouldn't have been able to do at my other full-time job.
I think someone else mentioned earlier, I just need to let him work this out on his own. I gave him my advice, he came up with a plan, I just have to see if he'll go through with it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TxHeather
Ok so this might sound harsh, but it sounds like everyone is reaping a benefit from living with Mom and Dad. Yeah, they may be "controlling," but he/she who pays the bills, makes the rules.
Sounds like there's probably more going on with the story of your brother than you realize. He may be too embarrassed to share it because he realizes he's a grown man who can't manage his life. If he's serious about taking back his life, then he needs to be a man of action and begin making plans to cut himself off financially from your parents. That means opening his own account with only a "paid at death" contact on the account, applying to go back to school and pay for it himself, making arrangements for living once he's there and not taking anything from your parents again.
If they are bad people, then you both know that everything comes at a price. You BOTH have to determine if you are really willing to pay that price though.
Oh trust me HAS! I guess it was his wake up call lol. At least he didn;t go my route and have kids. I feel like its' harder on my end. Doable, but defintely harder.
After much therapy, I came to the conclusion I will never understand why they do that to us. It's much more productive to not treat my kids the same and to do everything in my power now to become financially independent, so that when life happens, like my car or bills, I can handle it on my own.
I honestly think they relocated him just to claim him on their taxes-it wouldn't be the first time.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat
I hope he has learned a major lesson from this. I can't imagine stunting my kid's growth this way, or being the kid who allows it. He should have stayed down at school. Relocating as a 26 year old in the middle of college shouldn't even have been up for discussion.
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I hope he has learned a major lesson from this. I can't imagine stunting my kid's growth this way, or being the kid who allows it. He should have stayed down at school. Relocating as a 26 year old in the middle of college shouldn't even have been up for discussion.
