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I think what is being overlooked is in the first sentence. It indicates the young man has some mental deficiency problems.
If that is true, then how able is he to handle his own finances, etc. It is very possible the young man needs parental influence as he does not handle things very well on his own. We don't know his capability. The young man may be 26 years old, but with the mental ability of a 10 year old for example.
His sister has said he is not vested in being a fully functioning adult, and possibly his desires are to be like other young people of his physical age, but does not have he mental capability to handle it.
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Originally Posted by Pitt Chick
We don't know... but the OP says he has a job and is in college. So he must be smarter than a fifth grader.
I agree, if he is smart enough to be in college & have a job than he should be smart enough to handle a checking account.
He wasn't sure because he just isn't vested in being a fully functioning independent adult,
In other words, his own sister has let us know he is not a fully functioning independent adult. This normally means that the young men has a mental deficiency.
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We don't know... but the OP says he has a job and is in college. So he must be smarter than a fifth grader
This may nor may not be true. Many people with a low mental level, have a job. In fact there are programs that pay most of their wages, if someone will hire them for menial tasks. Dishwashers, janitor assistants, etc. I know I have employed some in the past. They are not productive enough to earn minimal wages, but with the government supplement they can learn to do the job well enough that they will earn what the employer pays them.
Some college programs, are designed to train people with a mental handicap to operate in the real world. We don't know what he is doing in college to be able to make a judgement.
No his having a job and going to college is not enough, we would need other answers to be able to give an opinion, as to him being able to handle a checkbook.
Quote:
I agree, if he is smart enough to be in college & have a job than he should be smart enough to handle a checking account.
If the situation is real, that is one messed up family. The parents are extremely manipulative, controlling their adult children to the point of rendering them incapable of being well adjusted responsible adults.
My older sister is reduced to this life, as my mother -as well as my father- were very controlling and in no way encouraged her to have a life, a job, become independent and an adult. She is now 54, almost 55...and still leads the life of the perpetual 14 year old waiting to launch. She has never worked, has no friends or social life, never will drive as she refuses to wear eyeglasses so she can SEE...to learn to drive a car. She will be financially dependent forever.
I dread the day our father passes. He is 90 now.
Last edited by Miss Blue; 01-20-2016 at 06:18 AM..
Reason: deleted the remark about troll thread as it is off topic and against the rules
I'm needing some advice on a family situation. My brother is 26 and, against my advice, let his mom be a joint person on his bank account a few years ago. He came to me a few days ago and told me mom wouldn't allow him access to his last paycheck from his retail job. His last paycheck was around 500. The reason for my mom restricting his access was because she didn't want him to use the money to buy whatever he wanted. (My brother isn't a druggie, or alcoholic, or anything like that.) He's a good person. He attends school for his bachelors degree, is pretty much a homebody, doesn't party, doesn't date. This isn't the first time our mother has done something of this nature. Or our dad. His car recently died, the battery died and needed a jumpstart. But My parents refused to jumpstart the car. Their reason? We just moved to New England and they don't want my brother driving in the snow. (Mind you: the roads are very maintained here, the snow plows do an excellent job, and my brother has never once been in an accident or gotten tickets.)
That's all background info! The question is: how can my brother get access to his funds? The bank said he either has to give them a utility bill or a bill with his name on it or come into the branch and get the money(which is in Memphis, TN and we live in New England now). Aside from flying down there to get the money in person, what other options does my brother have?
Thanks in advance!
He should report this to his employer, so the employer withdraws that money, and open his own bank account, and give them that for deposits.
This is absolutely ridiculous behavior on your mom's part.
I'm needing some advice on a family situation. My brother is 26 and, against my advice, let his mom be a joint person on his bank account a few years ago. He came to me a few days ago and told me mom wouldn't allow him access to his last paycheck from his retail job. His last paycheck was around 500. The reason for my mom restricting his access was because she didn't want him to use the money to buy whatever he wanted. (My brother isn't a druggie, or alcoholic, or anything like that.) He's a good person. He attends school for his bachelors degree, is pretty much a homebody, doesn't party, doesn't date. This isn't the first time our mother has done something of this nature. Or our dad. His car recently died, the battery died and needed a jumpstart. But My parents refused to jumpstart the car. Their reason? We just moved to New England and they don't want my brother driving in the snow. (Mind you: the roads are very maintained here, the snow plows do an excellent job, and my brother has never once been in an accident or gotten tickets.)
That's all background info! The question is: how can my brother get access to his funds? The bank said he either has to give them a utility bill or a bill with his name on it or come into the branch and get the money(which is in Memphis, TN and we live in New England now). Aside from flying down there to get the money in person, what other options does my brother have?
Thanks in advance!
He should open another bank account in his name only.
Your mother cant legally stop him from accessing his fund. Tell him to talk to a lawyer
He should open another bank account in his name only.
Your mother cant legally stop him from accessing his fund. Tell him to talk to a lawyer
Unless the brother is mentally handicapped, and the parents are the legal guardian. The way the bank won't let him have the money, it appears that it is a custodial account, and his legal guardian is the one that dictates things or he could access money that is in his name without his parents permission.
If he is mentally handicapped (the sister has said he is not a fully functioning adult) as it appears, then he has a guardian that looks out for him, just as a parent looks out over a minor child with problems. If the child is mentally challenged, they do not become a legal adult at 18, but remains the equivalent of a minor for life legally. A guardian is appointed to look after their best interests, if the parents are no longer living.
It IS agreed, that if he doesn't know which end is up, perhaps he shouldn't have one, but only by using one will he learn! HELP him learn!
If he is incapable of handling his own funds, then he is unable to learn to do so. I have known several young people that could not handle their own money, especially a bank account. I have even employed some.
HE NEEDS To move out, and be on his own. MOMMA is suffocating him.
Again you as some others have said the same thing, you are assuming that he is a fully functioning adult. Apparently he is not. If not, he needs the security of his family looking after him, and having a guardian to look after him when they are no longer alive to do the task.
Too many people are reading this thread, and think due to his age, he is a fully functioning adult mentally. By what his sister has said, he is not, and needs someone to look after him. If you want to feel sorry for someone, be sorry for the parents who have the burden of having a fully grown child, that has to be handled like he is still a young child. I have known several people like this, and have known their families well. This is a terrible burden to put on the parents, trying to watch over someone like this.
It can happen to people, no matter what their income or social level is. President Kennedy had a sister, that had to be institutionalized most of her life. Family with a lot of money, but still a child that could not take care of themselves. And a list of people with this problem, can go on and on.
Some have to be institutionalized all of their lives. Others can live at home, and be watched over by their parents. Others can learn to be self sufficient.
In other words, his own sister has let us know he is not a fully functioning independent adult. This normally means that the young men has a mental deficiency.
There are plenty of people not interested in being a fully functioning independent adult who don't have any sort of mental deficiency. They're just lazy and are being ennabled to continue to be lazy.
Unless the brother is mentally handicapped, and the parents are the legal guardian. The way the bank won't let him have the money, it appears that it is a custodial account, and his legal guardian is the one that dictates things or he could access money that is in his name without his parents permission.
If he is mentally handicapped (the sister has said he is not a fully functioning adult) as it appears, then he has a guardian that looks out for him, just as a parent looks out over a minor child with problems. If the child is mentally challenged, they do not become a legal adult at 18, but remains the equivalent of a minor for life legally. A guardian is appointed to look after their best interests, if the parents are no longer living.
OP has said there is no mental handicap. Not being a fully functioning adult is not the same as having a mental handicap.
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