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Is it at all possible or will there always be animosity between the two of you ?
There is lots of hate in America for well off people due to the economic hardships this country is facing.
Don't be shy. Sound Off.
Do you hate people with money and privilege even if they are nice people and want to be your friend or does jealousy rain supreme ?
Should people with money stay with their own kind ?
This is a good topic!
As I have grown older I am realizing relationships are more important than material things! (I am only in my 40's). But, to answer your question, I have friends that have very little money, and that does not matter to me. I help them when I can. I helped my poorer friends much more before I had a family, I hardly could help much after I had kids of my own!
I look at the person, who they are, and that is how I would have a relationship with them poor or rich, it does not matter, that is only material. I am probably upper middle class, If I guess.
I like your question, and it prompts me to think about it more, as well I am always looking to help those less off than me and I am very thankful to God for what he has given me (everything)
For awhile in our lives, we had more than most of our friends. I feel as though sometimes they overextended themselves to do things with us, which made me a bit uncomfortable. Now, we're retired and a lot of our friends have more than we do.
We can't travel the world with friends who do, so it results in our not seeing much of them. They are still good friends, though.
I don't think it's really a fair question to post here on CD... I think the members here mostly skew towards middle to upper-middle class. Asking someone who has money (even if you're not exactly rich) whether you can be friends with someone who doesn't have money is a lot different than asking someone who doesn't have any money whether they can be friends with someone who does.
I have a couple friends who haven't achieved much success in life, we were a lot closer before I started making good money. On a couple of occasions, they've made comments that really made me do a double take, as there was a good bit of animosity in their tone/words that just blind sided me.
One of my friends was going through a breakup, and she was venting to me about how she was never going to find another guy like him, etc. She was really stressed out about things, and I told her to take a vacation and just relax a bit before going back to the grind.
She just snapped at me and said I had really stupid ideas, that all my ideas cost money, she doesn't have any money to just take a vacation, etc. I was just kinda shocked, because I didn't even give any specific examples of things to do that would cost money.
A couple of other friends have made similar comments regarding our house, cars, etc. Whether it's envy, jealousy, bitterness, I don't know. We've found that we've stopped hanging out with those people because their comments (and what they're thinking underneath the surface) have made us uncomfortable.
So, it's a lot easier to sit here and say that you can be friends with someone who doesn't have much, but when the shoe is on the other foot, it's a lot different.
My husband and I are very comfortable. We live below our means when it comes to housing, vehicles, clothing and jewelry - the types of things that people tend to "see" - so our income level probably isn't obvious to most people.
We DO splurge on vacations as well as "experiences" in general - but those are generally things we just do together, except for when we throw a party. Then it's Katy, bar the door! But overall, I don't think people would look at us and our lifestyle and think we are wealthy - and I guess to some people, we AREN'T wealthy.
But it doesn't matter - our friends are those we share common interests with. Period. They have a wide range of incomes and are at various stages in their lives - from retired to fifteen or so years younger than us and in the middle of trying to build careers.
People can be friends with anyone if they want to, however there will definitely be challenges when there are large income separations that wouldn't exist if people were in the same income level.
Honestly, the biggest one is figuring out what to do if going out for dinner together. If one person wants a steakhouse and the other wants to just get a slice of pizza, a compromise is going to be difficult, but required regularly. Either the wealthier person is constantly giving up where they want to go for the friendship, or the other one is going in to debt(unless the wealthier one pays for the other one but that comes with it's own awkward implications).
Also:
Quote:
Originally Posted by CNYC
Do you hate people with money and privilege even if they are nice people and want to be your friend or does jealousy rain supreme ?
If the only options are "hate people even if they want to be your friend" or "jealousy rain supreme" that's a lose/lose question. I suspect one of those sides of the "or" was meant to be a scenario where you're friends with the rich person, but the fact that you phrased it this way might actually be hinting at why you're encountering problems. Often people overestimate their ability to hide their feelings, and if you think that people are just hating you/jealous of you for your money, it's going to show up in your interactions with them over time.
In general, I find most people don't hate a rich person, but no one likes when people with more money make a show of it, even if unintentional. If you want to be friends with people who have less money, it does take an effort to be aware of how you treat money around them. Picking out a $75 bottle of wine at dinner or fishing for compliments on your new expensive clothes will get old fast. So anyone who has more money will need to watch out to avoid doing that.
I think that most people are considering a narrow range of people, perhaps middle class teachers being friends with wealthy upper middle class attorneys and that probably works out in most cases.
But when you have a huge-huge-huge range such as someone with a job making minimum wage and their buddy who earns a half a million dollars a year it is much harder to "bridge that gap". Or even a wealthy person trying to be friends with someone like Trump or another billionaire.
I know someone who works at a department store, while desperately seeking a professional job, and even small expenses can be monumental to her. Recently her friends, all recent college graduates with good jobs, wanted to go on some type of themed pub-crawl. The original participation fee was $50 a person and drinks at most of the bars would be $10-$12 each. She figured that with snacks and parking that evening it could easily cost her most of her net salary for that week. To her friends, this was "just another Saturday" to her it was a major financial decision. She decided not to go and instead use that money for her student loan payment. Another time they were going to try out a new restaurant where most meals cost $100 and up. Again, she decided not to go. BTW, she has noticed that her friends are calling her less and less to go places. So, at least in her case, money is definitely effecting her interactions with friends.
Last edited by germaine2626; 01-29-2016 at 12:04 PM..
Friends, yes. Best buds who do everything together, not likely.
Now that I am older I would not say I am rich..........but, I have all the money I will ever need.
My BBF is on SSI............anytime I am going to town without my husband..........she goes with me.
If we are busy she always makes "to much" soup or, something.
She know she is welcome to any meat in our freezer.
She has my small truck most of the time.
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