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Anyone who is so jealous of another person who is simply living her own life that you can't even bring yourself to talk to her is NOT suited for social work, where the emphasis is on helping other people achieve and be their best. You can't stand it if their best means they have something you don't have and you think you are the one who should be helping them reach their goals?
What if their goals are for things that you want for yourself but don't have? Will you sabotage them out of your childish jealousy?
What will you teach your children? To shun people who have something they wish they had?
You are way, way too immature to be either a social worker or a mother.
Nope I'm real. My mom and dad moved when they got married and just kind of relied on eachother they don't do date nights with other people they both have acquaintances but are very private people
Quote:
Originally Posted by BrassTacksGal
Everyone mom has friends! That's just sad that your mother never had any friends. I don't know any mothers like that and it's sad to think about someone living like that. I've had a husband and kids for 30 years and ALWAYS had friends. Always. No one person can meet all your needs, nor should he be expected to. Frankly, I think you are punking us. Are you a troll? Your story is just too far fetched to be real. No one expects a husband and kids to fill their whole life.
I am a retired teacher. As an early childhood special education teacher, who did home visits for many years, I got to know the parents of my students extremely well. Yes, there were a few mothers who did not appear to have any friends beyond their spouse and family (I usually knew because they were complaining and unhappy about that). One of those women was in a strict, religious sect where women were treated basically like possessions, another was mentally ill and no one wanted anything to do with her, one was an abused/battered woman with an overly controlling husband and a few were just so lonely that their they made their children's lives miserable (and their children's teachers lives miserable) because their children and their children's teachers were their only social outlet and human contact outside of the home. I had one mother who called me (her son's teacher) every single school day for a almost a year I suspected that it was just to hear someone else's voice. Of course, this is just anecdotal information.
OP, perhaps your mother was happy and content in her situation, but I rather doubt it. In the event that she & your dad were happy about their self-imposed isolation, OP, you have to understand that it is quite unusual to put all of your social interaction needs on just one person. It was also dangerous, if your dad had left or died, your mom would have been totally on her own if she had not developed and maintained friendships to help sustain her.
Last edited by germaine2626; 02-28-2016 at 08:46 AM..
Anyone who is so jealous of another person who is simply living her own life that you can't even bring yourself to talk to her is NOT suited for social work, where the emphasis is on helping other people achieve and be their best. You can't stand it if their best means they have something you don't have and you think you are the one who should be helping them reach their goals?
What if their goals are for things that you want for yourself but don't have? Will you sabotage them out of your childish jealousy?
What will you teach your children? To shun people who have something they wish they had?
You are way, way too immature to be either a social worker or a mother.
Well that's a little too bad since I'm already almost done with my grad program and have a job lined up basically... hmmm. Anyways I don't treat that girl badly I just avoid her. It's how I handle it and it is what it is I don't feel bad about it at all
I am a retired teacher. As a special education, who did home visits for many years, I got to know the parents of my students extremely well. Yes, there were a few mothers who did not appear to have any friends beyond their spouse and family (I usually knew because they were complaining and unhappy about that). One of those women was in a strict, religious sect where women were treated basically like possessions, another was mentally ill and no one wanted anything to do with her, one was an abused/battered woman with an overly controlling husband and a few were just so lonely that their they made their children's lives miserable (and their children's teachers lives miserable) because their children and their children's teachers were their only social outlet and human contact outside of the home. I had one mother who called me (her son's teacher) every single school day for a almost a year I suspected that it was just to hear someone else's voice. Of course, this is just anecdotal information.
OP, perhaps your mother was happy and content in her situation, but I rather doubt it. In the event that she & your dad were happy about their self-imposed isolation, OP, you have to understand that it is quite unusual to put all of your social interaction needs on just one person. It was also dangerous, if your dad had left or died, your mom would have been totally on her own if she had not developed and maintained friendships to help sustain her.
I guess it would be good to have friends. I have them I make friends easily I just don't get super close to people and I think I would value a marriage way more than a friendship I would rather be married than have friends. I can have both
Well that's a little too bad since I'm already almost done with my grad program and have a job lined up basically... hmmm. Anyways I don't treat that girl badly I just avoid her. It's how I handle it and it is what it is I don't feel bad about it at all
Coming from the same professional background as you're pursuing...I can promise you life and the profession will teach you some much needed life lessons. I have worked with people like you, all book knowledge and no substance.
Since you recognize your own prejudices go a step further and address those...personal growth is imperative. It really will help you personally and professionally.
Hopefully you'll be under a hard nosed supervisor who'll challenge you and hold your feet to the fire. Good luck.
No I think once I have a husband and babies I'll be good and content
You are delusional.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gab12
I am not going and telling men on the first date to get me pregnant but at 25 come on I'm ready I have accomplished everything in life already except that
Yep, you are definitely delusional.
Seek a new counselor, because your current therapist is not working.
Any SELF RESPECTING man will run far away from you with you in your current mental state.
You are a prime candidate to be a victim of a controlling man. As mentioned above, you will either be on Dateline sometime or on Investigation Discovery TV (these are shows about people who have been victims of domestic violence).
So you stop talking to someone who married and is pregnant before you and your friend calls you on this immature behavior?
You are far too immature to even think about marriage and babies now, and that's okay. We all grow up on different time lines and I see you as someone who thinks as someone who is still in high school. Again there is nothing wrong with this, it's just where you are in your stage of life.
Be careful what you wish for. Why do you want to give up those years of freedom and experimentation to have a child now? You will grow and change so much between now and 30 and those years will help form who you are going to be as an adult.
Don't try to take on adult responsibilities too soon. Take this advice from someone who is nearly 60 who was a total wild child in her 20's. Sometimes I look back on her and smile, other times I look back on her and wonder how she ever made it out of that decade.
I married the love of my life at the tale end of that decade, having sewn those wild oats that helped me mature enough to handle a very adult relationship. I never thought that I had missed out on anything either.
Don't be irritated with your friend for being honest about what she may see as immature behavior and pointing it out. Part of being an adult is being able to accept criticism with an open mind and looking for a constructive solution to correct the problem. Take it as one of many life lessons that will be hard at first but will be insignificant in the near future. Real friends always tell you the truth even if it's something you may not want to hear.
We are both kind of immature not gonna lie and Masters in social work
Don't you think your future child deserves to have a mature woman for a mother?
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