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I think the OP needs to brush up on communication skills. I am confused. Is he married, have a girlfriend, are they the same? Who is on drugs?
He's married, but separated, from what I could glean. Has an on-again, off-again girlfriend with whom he has a daughter. Sounds like both parents are on drugs.
You need to attend some meetings of Nar-Anon. It's like Al-Anon but for people dealing with drug users in their families, rather than alcoholics. But if there is no Nar-Anon near you, I'm sure you will be welcomed by your local Al-Anon group since most substance abusers in America today are cross-addicted anyway (meaning they will use whatever is at hand to get high if their drug of choice is unavailable). Here's how to find a meeting: Find a Meeting
(Please do not mistake Nar-Anon with NarcAnon. The latter is a drug rehab program run by Scientologists.)
Nar-Anon is 12-step program for "those who know or have known a feeling of desperation concerning the addiction problem of someone very near to you." You will meet and get support from people who have been where you are now. They can offer you advice specific to the place where you are located.
You will meet people who have had loved ones hospitalized, arrested, imprisoned, lost jobs and families, etc., due to their drug addiction. Your son is definitely on that road right now and you and your innocent granddaughter are being victimized by his bad choices.
Get some help from people who know what your life is like and can offer you empathy AND practical advice. They've dealt with child protective services, the court systems, and law enforcement where you live. They've learned to address the pain of helplessness that you feel. Don't know how to practice "tough love" or how to stop enabling your son with his issues? The people at Nar-Anon and Al Anon have been where you are. They will listen and support you.
Attendance at Nar-Anon and Al-Anon is free. Most groups pass a basket for donations (most people put in $1 or 2) so they can pay their rent, but donations are voluntary. There will be a time for sharing when you can speak if you wish to, but it's not required. Most people hang around after the meeting and chat. That's when you will make contact with people who will share their experience, strength, and hope with you. If you doubt if you should attend or not, read this list of questions, "Is Nar-Anon for Me?": http://static1.squarespace.com/stati...non_For_Me.pdf
Last edited by Jukesgrrl; 08-24-2016 at 04:05 AM..
Reason: spelling
That is what we can't figure him giving her anything.
His wife left him in Key West with nothing but a pair of Shorts and T Shirt. No Vehicle, no ID, no Money. You try being in this situation trying to find a way back home. Next to impossible.
brushrunner
did he cheat on her with this meth addicted woman? I'm inclined to think he did.
He is 33. His wife met another guy in Key West, took off with this other Guy. Her mind is mess up on Drugs, she is drawing Disability because of this.
brushrunner
I have one kid like this . Tell him NO to anything - whatever he does he does , I know it sounds bad but later you will feel much better .
BTW that disability is so wrong, is that condition even legal to receive disability? I have Crohn's so bad I am in bed now on my left side have been trying for YEARS to get disability .Always turned down . Also weened myself off Benzo's after a 25 year habit my Dr started . No WAY would I get disability. It took 5 years and I still have permanent neurological damage from that med .
Distance yourself from this whole situation an I am sorry you are having to deal with this .
First, get him out of your house and keep him out. Second, gather up evidence that both parents are impaired (drugs) and show cps. You might have a very good chance to have legal custody and guardianship of your granddaughter. If that happens make sure the papers you sign specifically state that your son, his wife, and the gf must have limited contact with you, your husband, and your granddaughter.
First, get him out of your house and keep him out. Second, gather up evidence that both parents are impaired (drugs) and show cps. You might have a very good chance to have legal custody and guardianship of your granddaughter. If that happens make sure the papers you sign specifically state that your son, his wife, and the gf must have limited contact with you, your husband, and your granddaughter.
I'm so sorry you've been swept into your son's drama-filled life. It's so sad and frustrating to see your kids fail so miserably at relationships.
As you sure your son is the child's father? Has there been a paternity test? Does he pay child support? I think this would be my first question.
Secondly, your son is not as pure as driven snow. He's hanging out/living with a meth head, the odds are very good that he's using, too. You know that, so blaming her for being a meth user is a little silly. He needs to distance himself from this crap -- gets a divorce, pay child support, get clean and get this woman out of his life. If necessary, if he is the child's father, he can sue for joint or sole custody, especially if he can prove that the mother is unfit (not easy to do, but possible.) He also needs to get the keys back to his car, or else have her arrested for car theft.
Any chance he can do drug rehab? I'm guessing that resources are not plentiful, but omigod, this guy is an accident waiting to happen.
I think the OP needs to brush up on communication skills. I am confused. Is he married, have a girlfriend, are they the same? Who is on drugs?
Ok his wife, her mind is fried because of acid. They was living with us, she made him go down and tell me to quit cutting firewood on my own place because trees were needed. Well it was real short what I told him to tell her but it wasn't nice.
I moved them out. She left him Christmas Day in Key West for a Mexican.
The Girlfriend is now on Meth, she is just plain crazy and very convincing story teller. She hit him one time with her car, he went through the windshield, she tried taking him to court to pay for it. We try and get Granddaughter from her she spreads BS about me and my wife to where there is no way we can get custody. But she thinks her mother would be better even though she is also on Meth.
did he cheat on her with this meth addicted woman? I'm inclined to think he did.
No she left him went to parts unknown. He made his was to North Carolina and got work then made his way back here to Missouri, took him a good six months where he met this woman.
They have been together a good 5 years. We first met her because her Mom took their money and kicked them out Christmas Day. She also when our Son went to pick up Girlfriend and Granddaughter at the Hospital. She hired some guys to beat the something out of our Son.
Ok his wife, her mind is fried because of acid. They was living with us, she made him go down and tell me to quit cutting firewood on my own place because trees were needed. Well it was real short what I told him to tell her but it wasn't nice.
I moved them out. She left him Christmas Day in Key West for a Mexican.
The Girlfriend is now on Meth, she is just plain crazy and very convincing story teller. She hit him one time with her car, he went through the windshield, she tried taking him to court to pay for it. We try and get Granddaughter from her she spreads BS about me and my wife to where there is no way we can get custody. But she thinks her mother would be better even though she is also on Meth.
brushrunner
Sounds like you need a good attorney.
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