Men Who Don't Want Women Around Unless It's For Their Entertainment. (wife, presents)
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Technically, the manager (and male coworkers) can do whatever they please during non-work hours. There is no requirement to invite anyone else (male Orr female). I'm not sure I'd call it a "Departmental Outing."
If work or networking is being done and the women are being excluded in any way, oh HECK NO they cannot "do whatever they please."
They did all that with us around, we were that comfortable with eachother. We were more like a family, then friends. The new manager got transferred during the beginning of the summer. I've been hanging and being friends with my pals for about 3 years now. Normally, we would all pitch in, buy some beer, and then after the store closed, would go out to the cars in the parking lot and have the beers and chat about the job, life, or what events we might do over the weekend (movies, bowling, ball games, etc)
If it's nasty outside, then there is a bar right next door to the store, and we would go there, where we are all known by the bar managers and bar tenders ( often they would come to the store and chat with us) And on Thursdays, a new bar called Twin Peaks opened up nearby, and despite the breasturant being catered more to guys, I would tag along because the girls at the bar were more comfortable when I was around, and we would get great service and sometimes even get free stuff. Now, one time, the manager talked my buddies into going to Twin Peaks, and one of them texted me to come along since I am a favorite with the girls, and I went. When I got there, I can definitely tell the manager wasn't too pleased to see me there. I sat down, and one of the girls came with my beer that she already knew I wanted since I was a regular. I was just placing my order of food, when the manager all of a sudden blurted out "lets go to Cheetahs, I want a lap dance" I was like "I just ordered, can't we wait?" (I may not like strip clubs, but I have no problems going to them, and Cheetahs, I happen to know many of the bartenders and strippers there too) He was real quick to say "naw, you can stay here with your girlfriend (he was applying to the waitress who was talking to me and taking my order) and then he gulped his beer down and was like, "hurry up guys, I want to try and get a VIP room, and I'm sorry, guys only!" All of the guys except one left, reluctantly, and I was so hurt, I was about ready to cry. The one friend who stayed was really upset too, but he didn't care about going because he never cared about that manager, and he worked in a different department anyways.
But it's still upsetting me. I've done nothing to this man, and it's really hurting me that he's pretty much taking all my friends away, and they won't stand up to him. Now, while they are away, one friend would text me that he's sorry this happened, but he feels he has to kiss the new manager's butt in fear of his hours getting slashed. But why is this man so against women hanging out unless we are strippers or scantily clad waitresses?
As someone else already mentioned, men often enjoy the company of other men. They don't want to hang out and drink beer with women, they want to talk about women. Or they want to be free to use coarse language, etc. Introducing a woman into the mix creates a whole different atmosphere. Why is this so hard to understand, and what exactly is wrong with that?
Instead of injecting yourself into situations where you're obviously not wanted, maybe you should organize your own outings with those who want to hang out with you.
As someone else already mentioned, men often enjoy the company of other men. They don't want to hang out and drink beer with women, they want to talk about women. Or they want to be free to use coarse language, etc. Introducing a woman into the mix creates a whole different atmosphere. Why is this so hard to understand, and what exactly is wrong with that?
Instead of injecting yourself into situations where you're obviously not wanted, maybe you should organize your own outings with those who want to hang out with you.
As someone else already mentioned, men often enjoy the company of other men. They don't want to hang out and drink beer with women, they want to talk about women. Or they want to be free to use coarse language, etc. Introducing a woman into the mix creates a whole different atmosphere. Why is this so hard to understand, and what exactly is wrong with that?
Instead of injecting yourself into situations where you're obviously not wanted, maybe you should organize your own outings with those who want to hang out with you.
Agreed with this. I am a woman, and I prefer having an all-girls setting because you can chat about things that men probably don't have an opinion on, doing care about, or find gross (pregnancy, periods, other men, etc) lol
Sometimes mixed company is fine. But other times, you want to have an outing or get together with just members of your own gender, and do "guy" stuff or "girl" stuff.
Like if you're out with fellow women, you may wanna go to the nail-salon and gossip. Chances may be high, that a guy isn't gonna wanna do that. You may wanna get together and talk about the hot men you work with, or see. Again, unless the guy friend is gay, then he probably has no interest. Having a baby shower? Chances are, the men don't wanna be involved. My brother's girlfriend tried to have a coed baby shower when she was pregnant. NO men showed up. It was all women.
You have to be more careful when you deal with mixed-company. And some people do not always have plans for entertaining mixed company. Like parents. Now and again, they are gonna wanna do things, or talk about things that don't, or should not, involve their kids.
This reminds me of Friends. The girls are surprised they aren't invited to Ross' bachelor party.
Quote:
Joey "Are you bachelors?" Monica "No" Joey "Are you strippers?" Rachel "No" Joey "Then you're not invited." Monica "Fine then you're not invited to the party we're gonna have!" Joey "What party?" Monica "The Baby Shower for Phoebe" Joey "Oooh, baby shower.. That so doesn't sound like something I wanna do. Later"
So while he may have been crude when he said it, he was probably just saying that it was intended as a guys' night out, and for that night, they're just looking to have fun and ogle women w/o worrying about offending someone. So the only women they wanted to be around that night was the women they'd be ogling, cat-calling and talking about.
They did all that with us around, we were that comfortable with eachother. We were more like a family, then friends. The new manager got transferred during the beginning of the summer. I've been hanging and being friends with my pals for about 3 years now. Normally, we would all pitch in, buy some beer, and then after the store closed, would go out to the cars in the parking lot and have the beers and chat about the job, life, or what events we might do over the weekend (movies, bowling, ball games, etc)
If it's nasty outside, then there is a bar right next door to the store, and we would go there, where we are all known by the bar managers and bar tenders ( often they would come to the store and chat with us) And on Thursdays, a new bar called Twin Peaks opened up nearby, and despite the breasturant being catered more to guys, I would tag along because the girls at the bar were more comfortable when I was around, and we would get great service and sometimes even get free stuff. Now, one time, the manager talked my buddies into going to Twin Peaks, and one of them texted me to come along since I am a favorite with the girls, and I went. When I got there, I can definitely tell the manager wasn't too pleased to see me there. I sat down, and one of the girls came with my beer that she already knew I wanted since I was a regular. I was just placing my order of food, when the manager all of a sudden blurted out "lets go to Cheetahs, I want a lap dance" I was like "I just ordered, can't we wait?" (I may not like strip clubs, but I have no problems going to them, and Cheetahs, I happen to know many of the bartenders and strippers there too) He was real quick to say "naw, you can stay here with your girlfriend (he was applying to the waitress who was talking to me and taking my order) and then he gulped his beer down and was like, "hurry up guys, I want to try and get a VIP room, and I'm sorry, guys only!" All of the guys except one left, reluctantly, and I was so hurt, I was about ready to cry. The one friend who stayed was really upset too, but he didn't care about going because he never cared about that manager, and he worked in a different department anyways.
But it's still upsetting me. I've done nothing to this man, and it's really hurting me that he's pretty much taking all my friends away, and they won't stand up to him. Now, while they are away, one friend would text me that he's sorry this happened, but he feels he has to kiss the new manager's butt in fear of his hours getting slashed. But why is this man so against women hanging out unless we are strippers or scantily clad waitresses?
You know? This is a totally unfortunate situation because 1. the guy just sounds like he has some major ego issues (can't quite put my finger on it). And 2. Because you sound like a great female to hang out with (I prefer the term "girl" to "woman" or "gal" but I don't want to derail my own post over nouns).
I say this as a female who used to work in the sex industry; there are girls that can hang in this type of enviornment & girls who cannot.
(OMG; there goes the "girl" word; IDK. I'm a girl. I'll call it how I see it)
It sounds to me like you would have been a girl I could have been cool with vs some others who are there for "other" reasons. Primary reason is a girl who is really clingy with a BF or hopefull-BF who's social scene involves these types of venues. These girls don't want to be left behind so they try to portray themselves as "oh yeah; totally cool with this" so that they can appear to be a "cool chick".
But they are far from being "cool" with anything & have these neurotic quirks that would take too long for me to go into. Anyway; you DON'T sound like one of those.
Is there a possibility that this guy looks up to in a weird way? As in he's not comfortable with you actually seeing him at his worst so he goes about it in a hot-headed way (which isn't really doing anybody including himself any favors).
I just realized I made it sound like he "pedestalizes' women (or at least you) in his own way. Which is odd.
You know? This is a totally unfortunate situation because 1. the guy just sounds like he has some major ego issues (can't quite put my finger on it). And 2. Because you sound like a great female to hang out with (I prefer the term "girl" to "woman" or "gal" but I don't want to derail my own post over nouns).
I say this as a female who used to work in the sex industry; there are girls that can hang in this type of enviornment & girls who cannot.
(OMG; there goes the "girl" word; IDK. I'm a girl. I'll call it how I see it)
It sounds to me like you would have been a girl I could have been cool with vs some others who are there for "other" reasons. Primary reason is a girl who is really clingy with a BF or hopefull-BF who's social scene involves these types of venues. These girls don't want to be left behind so they try to portray themselves as "oh yeah; totally cool with this" so that they can appear to be a "cool chick".
But they are far from being "cool" with anything & have these neurotic quirks that would take too long for me to go into. Anyway; you DON'T sound like one of those.
Is there a possibility that this guy looks up to in a weird way? As in he's not comfortable with you actually seeing him at his worst so he goes about it in a hot-headed way (which isn't really doing anybody including himself any favors).
I just realized I made it sound like he "pedestalizes' women (or at least you) in his own way. Which is odd.
I don't know much about him. I know he's married, but I'm not going to judge. It's just, I've been going through some rough times in my life, and these group of guys I hang out with have been great at helping me get over and forget my problems a few hours in the week, and I always looked forward to hanging out and just chilling with them. But now since this manager came into our lives, I feel like I lost my friends, and I'm definitely feeling hurt, and alone. The girls that would hang out with us, it wasn't often, and they already have families of their own. As for me, I'm single. While I'm always on the lookout for Mr Right, I've been quite content being single.
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