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Honestly, there were many years when I WAS surrounded by friends and family when I didn't really care to bother with putting up a tree and all the ornaments and wrestling with that stupid string of lights that never all work; UGH! For a perfectionist, that's just an exercise in frustration. Then, too, I became disgusted with the whole greedy materialistic aspect of spending foolishly on things no one really needed or wanted; after all, people today pretty much just buy what they desire on the spot. I increasingly wished for a purely spiritual Christmas celebration. As they say, be careful what you wish for!
Now I do celebrate the religious aspect with midnight/candlelight mass, which I couldn't do when my Christmas was more sociable, and put out only a creche (if that). I enjoy public trees and lights without having to bother with them myself.
I can't believe that people are already freaking out about not having their decorations up and gifts bought!
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,704 posts, read 41,848,071 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by otterhere
"For several years I didn't put up the tree just for me. That was a MISTAKE, IMO. This year my 9 1/2 foot gorgeous tree has been up since before Thanksgiving. Yes, it's a lot of work, but as I pulled out the ornaments, a flood of happy memories swept over me from Christmases past."
Personally, it would give me no pleasure to put up a tree in my house with no one to see it but me... I enjoy others' (and public) lights and decorations and try to do something different rather than just one little part of what I used to do as a tradition. But different strokes! Each individual must do whatever works for him/her.
I think a tree is a big waste of money and time. I'm not having anyone over to see it anyway. What the hell is the point?
"You don't intend to have a single visitor to your home between now and New Year's? (confused)"
No, I don't.
Me, neither. Most of my friends and acquaintances are from work or a meetup group on another side of town. I know some neighbors, but not enough to have a party--and I'm bad at throwing those, anyway.
Me, neither. Most of my friends and acquaintances are from work or a meetup group on another side of town. I know some neighbors, but not enough to have a party--and I'm bad at throwing those, anyway.
Nobody coming to my house. After all these years of being alone, I wouldn't care if this was my last Christmas on earth.
I will be working Christmas at the psych hospital. Next year, too.
I see Christmas as sort of an alien ritual, as I watch the other people rush around about it. No warm memories from the past, and none needing to be made (or forced). I do cringe at Xmas music at the supermarket, but that's because I don't like it as music. Now, if someone would play a sung Mass or Gregorian chant, that would be good at any time of the year.
I see Christmas as an alien ritual too. Good description! I do have many warm and good memories from Christmases when I was growing up though. As an adult though, I have little to no interest in it. I'd say zero interest, ha! For decades I've felt that I had enough great Christmases when I was young to last me a lifetime. I definitely feel no need to celebrate it and have not for a long time.
Last edited by matisse12; 12-07-2016 at 03:08 AM..
It is a better way to look at it. One of the reasons I feel so sad around Christmas is that in a few short years, so many have left. 15 years ago I still had my father, my brother, my grandmother, my best friend. All of those people are dead now. My daughter grew up and left and has spent a couple of years living in Asia. She and her boyfriend will be with me on Christmas Eve and into Christmas Day, though, so that is nice. I will have a tree and decorations this year. I didn't in the years when she wasn't around because there is no point in putting up a tree and decorations for me and the cats, lol.
Maybe to concentrate on those now-gone times when Christmas meant family and warmth around is the best thing to do. Everything is temporary, and life seems to just get sadder as I get older as more and more people die, but maybe the key is to just accept it and cherish the memories of when times were happier.
It is difficult, obviously, when relatives die and you start finding yourself alone. But the key is to never let your life stagnate and to make sure that as you lose old relationships, you cultivate new ones, if that is what is important to you. (I'm very picky about who I befriend, so I'd say I really only have two close friends in the world, but I also have never found my personal fulfillment in external relationships.) That is why nursing homes honestly can sometimes be good for the elderly. Rather than just sitting alone all day in an empty house and looking out the window or at a television, it puts them around other people. Of course, then a lot of them have already become anti-social or very rigid in their ways and can't stand being forced to interact with people, but that's another problem.
Life is either too many people around, or too few, but never at the right time.
My childhood Christmases were wonderful, but they were very long ago. I have not celebrated Christmas as a religious holiday since I left my childhood religion more than half a century ago. The secular aspects wore itself out in my twenties....I think living in NYC with all the commercial over-kill beginning super-early certainly helped do it in.
I never had any problem about what to do on Christmas day...I am easily entertained, I guess. Now that I am retired the day is like a Sunday. There are a few cafes open in the center of town, a chance to get a small dose of holiday music and usually a few street entertainers are out...and there are all sorts of nature spots to visit that will be almost totally bereft of other visitors - wonderful!
It is not a maudlin day for me to be by myself (if I am). Most of the people I ever celebrated Christmas with are dead, and the dead are dead. I don't consider this a special time to try to rip open wounds long healed, pointless that. There are the living to enjoy, if you get out of the house, and there is the natural world. These things are here and now, the rest is just stories in our heads.
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